The rental screwdriver bit and the moran of the week

[jmowreader]

You ever feel like you're the Moran Keeper in a menagerie?

The vinyl fence I sell is held together with square-drive screws. Canadians call these Robertson screws and they're a source of national pride. But anyway...

Some guy came in today because he needed to rent a drill to install the 600 feet of vinyl fence he bought. I get called to come help him. "Can I get one screw for the vinyl fencing? I need to rent a screwdriver bit for it and I need to know what size to get."

(Quick note: Vinyl fence is $82 per 6 feet.)

Rent a screwdriver bit? First I ever heard that one--screwdriver bits are a dollar apiece. They're not for rent. And I told the guy that.

He then proceeded to tell me he wanted to rent, not buy, a square-drive screwdriver bit twelve more times. Thirteen times total this fucking idiot told me he wanted to rent a one-dollar item.

And thirteen times I told this fucking idiot that we don't rent one-dollar items.

On the thirteenth time, he seemed to understand.

Not so fast, GI. Two minutes later: "When I rent the screwdriver bit, how long can I have it out for?"

[Arkana]

1. Customers say the darndest things, don't they?

[-..__...]

2. You should have asked him if he wanted a left-handed or right-handed bit.

[jmowreader]

3. Hard to ask things like that after picking your jaw off the floor

Let's see...

Customer spends $8200 on fence.

Plus another $300 for concrete.

And probably $150 more for hardware, hinges, latches, etc., to make drive gates.

Then wants to rent a screwdriver bit because $1 is too expensive.

[Gormy Cuss]

5. Nah, he wants to rent it because he won't need it again, my guess.

I almost want to work at Home Depot just to have first hand experience of some goofy stories like these.

If he asked me repeatedly, I'd tell him renting costs $5.00 an hour with a four hour minimum. Or he can buy it for a $1.00

The store manager may not take kindly to this approach -- perhaps it's best I don't work in retail.

[jmowreader]

8. Yeah, our store manager is a humorless little guy

And I do mean little--he's about 5'6" and weighs maybe ninety pounds if you get him good and wet.

The last store manager we had would have "rented" him the thing by selling it to him at the tool rental center. (Tool rental receipts look like rental contracts whether you're renting or buying.)

[-..__...]

6. Then rent him one @ $2.00 a day.

Never argue with a customer... they're always right.

[Tom Kitten]

4. At this point I would have just turned him around,

patted him on the head, and sent him off on his merry way, hoping he doesn't run a red light and get killed instantly on his way home...

Sometimes that is all you can do...

[rug]

7. Maybe he had a screw loose.