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Why do we hate the things we love?

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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 10:34 AM
Original message
Why do we hate the things we love?
I know there's no definitive answer to this, but I'd like to see what you have to say about this quirk in/facet of human behavior.

I think it's part self-loathing, part self-righteousness, and part jealousy, but as always, I could be wrong.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 11:09 AM
Response to Original message
1. Come on now. I know it's early in the AM. Ok. How about this...
How about you think about it and get back to me?
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 11:54 AM
Response to Original message
2. I think it's because we live in a dualistic world.....
where we are constantly seeing and experiencing polarities: love/hate, good/bad, peace/war, dem/repub...the list is endless.

CAN we have one, without the other? :shrug:


Hmmm....
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:10 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. But there are so many more sides to everything
However, I think you make a good point about duality. You probably can't have one without the other, but I think limiting oneself to only either/or causes too much trouble.

I just don't understand why people are so quick to demonize someone or something they love the second it strays from their perception of that thing/person. It's maddening to me.
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:46 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Yeah, it's too bad we all just can't get along and see how we are,
ultimately, all connected, despite our differences of opinion. There are many different realities and ways of perceiving. Who's to say what's "right" or "wrong"? It's all just perception, afterall.

I also think it's important not to identify so much with what our opinions are because that becomes a source of suffering. By identifying ourSELVES with what we think, we get trapped into taking it personally when whenever someone happens to disagree with us.

There's much more to who we are than what we happen to believe. We are constantly in the flow of Change, so it follows that our opinions will change too, and not to be too "attached" to them. Of course, that's much easier said, than done!

Well, whatever. Deep thoughts? Shallow thoughts? :)

~Shine
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. Yeah, it's too bad we all can't just get along and remember that
ultimately, we are All connected, despite our differences of opinion. There are many different realities and ways of perceiving. Who's to say what's "right" or "wrong"? It's all just perception, afterall.

I also think it's important not to identify so much with what our opinions are because that becomes a source of suffering. By identifying ourSELVES with what we think, we get trapped into taking it personally whenever someone happens to disagree with us.

There's much more to who we are than what we happen to believe. We are constantly in the flow of Change, so it follows that our opinions will change too, and not to be too "attached" to them. Of course, that's much easier said, than done!

Well, whatever. Deep thoughts? Shallow thoughts? :)

~Shine
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. Personally speaking, I don't hate the things I love.
But I am more critical of them. It's my only character flaw. :crazy:
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:09 PM
Response to Original message
4. Would this be the same as someone
hating one aspect of their S.O. yet being attracted to them because of that trait? Some people love things/people that are a challenge to them.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Could be. I like the idea of the challenge...
challenge not only in the sense that it's a personal challenge to the lover/hater, but also to the lover/hater's outlook or sense of self. An internal challenge to oneself and challenged externally by the object of love/hate--that makes sense.
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I was looking at it from the standpoint
of someone who could be with a person who they know would stand by them no matter what and was totally giving to them. But this SO was no challenge to them. They didn't have to be pursued or won over. Plus this SO was not being pursued by others. That diminishes the value of that SO in the eyes of some.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 02:16 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Oh, I see what you mean.
In your standpoint, the person would love the SO, but "hate" the idea that there's no pursuit or challenge from the SO.

I was looking at it as a collective "we" and the tendancy to love/hate idols.
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Wapsie B Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. Oh yes that's a good point.
We love the image on the screen but in real life they may be totally different.
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jane_pippin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 02:27 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. Yeah, or on screen criticizing something you agree with.
I have an ongoing issue with the "I love this person" followed by the "I hate this person" rants a day later if the person does something critical of one's beliefs.
(To be clear, though the thought was inspired by some DU threads, I by no means think it is a concept unique to DUers or any one group of people.) I just wanted to find out what you all think is behind the phenomenon.
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Heidi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-28-05 12:21 PM
Response to Original message
7. I don't hate, but I'm indifferent in some situations. (nt)
Edited on Wed Sep-28-05 12:22 PM by Heidi
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