Warning: be aware of the signs of this epidemic!

[Talismom]

CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL has issued a no-nonsense warning about a new, highly
virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease.

This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.


The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").


Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in
spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially insidious
ailment.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are
not limited to,


* antisocial personality disorder traits;


* delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;


* chronic mangling of the English language;


* extreme cognitive dissonance;


* inability to comprehend or interpret new information;


* pronounced xenophobia and homophobia;


* inability to accept responsibility for actions;
* exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;


* uncontrolled facial smirking;


* total ignorance of geography and history;


* tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and


* a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.



The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and
baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in the bush
country of Texas.
:scared: