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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:55 AM
Original message
My girlfriend and I broke up, ask me anything
Christ, third break up this year.

Another Christmas and no kisses :(

I am such a looooooooooooooooooooser.
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Kamika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:56 AM
Response to Original message
1. third?
With the same girl?
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #1
5. No different girls
My girlfriend of last year and I broke up in March.

Then there was the psycho in the summer.

Now my newest. We started dating in September. Kaput.
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Kamika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. psycho
was she hot?

Most are
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7th_Sephiroth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. yeah
i have dated alot of crazies
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. No not really.
I broke up with her.

The other two broke up with me.

The other two were hot. The psycho was not. She had some personality disorder or something. She told me all about it. That's when I started thinking that maybe she isn't right for me.
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PVnRT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
2. At least you had one...
For me, it's pretty much Madden and NHL 2004 this winter...

Oh well, her loss.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:58 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. Ain't that the truth?
3 in one year? Shit...
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
3. Want To Come Over For A Cocktail?
:)
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 11:59 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. Where do you live?
:)
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KittyWampus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 01:00 PM
Response to Reply #6
35. Eastern Long Island
New York... ocean side.

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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 01:02 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. Sorry sweetie
I'm on the opposite coast...on the coast though (or nearby anyway).
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
7. Is 29 too young to be considering life long bachelorhood?
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:12 PM
Response to Reply #7
18. NO!
Honey, I'm a gal who's two months shy of my 39th birthday and I've never been married, so now, it certainly is NOT too young!

It probably would be best if you gave yourself a break from any kind of relationship right now, because it sounds like you're so anxious not to be alone that you just get involved with the first gal who comes along and that's always trouble. Give it a rest for awhile, you'll soon realize that you don't need a girlfriend to be happy and that just because you don't have one doesn't mean you are a loser (you sure don't look like one to me, btw)! Then you'll be ready for a real relationship with someone you're genuinely interested in for her, and not just because you want a girlfriend.

And as for being alone during the holidays, believe me, you're NOT alone! Many, many other people are in the same boat. It's probably been a good ten years since I've had a boyfriend during the holidays, and a couple of years since I've even had a relationship. That definitely doesn't mean, though, that I don't have a life.
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Sal316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #7
20. Hell no!
I'm 6 days shy of 31 and seriously considering it!

Peace!
Sal
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:37 PM
Response to Reply #7
31. Bwah! You're a BABY at 29! I got married, for the 1st time, this August...
Edited on Mon Nov-10-03 12:37 PM by JanMichael
...at the age of 35.

So no, 29's too damned young to go claiming permenant bachlorhood!


ChCHchcHiiiiiiiiill.
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. And Jan, you're the one with the hot wife
I remember seeing your picture. Jesus, I must admit that this post made me feel better.

Thanks.
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Misinformed01 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #33
37. Nope. He's the hot guy with the average wife
n/t
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JanMichael Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-11-03 02:03 AM
Response to Reply #37
48. You're a great liar honey:-)
Don't anyone believe her...she's...The love of my LIFE.
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emily_j Donating Member (9 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 02:11 PM
Response to Reply #7
39. it sure feels like it, doesn't it?
i am a 29 year old bachelorette and it's hard to imagine ever being in a decent relationship - one where i actually would MISS my significant other if they were gone. we can only dream.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:00 PM
Response to Original message
8. well, some girls aren't just meant to be
Sorry she broke up with you. Christmas isn't all about spending it with a significant other----there's your family after all.
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:01 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. Well Slinkerwink, that is looking on the bright side of things
I can't say I'm too bummed about it.

I remember when breaking up was a very bad thing. Now I just shrug.

"Where is the passion?"
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. you know....I've never celebrated Valentine Day's with anyone
I've always broken up a relationship before Valentine's Day or started a relationship after Valentine's Day. It does suck to be spending Valentine's Day with oneself or another friend, and getting drunk on red wine and swearing off love forever....
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:05 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Ha Ha.
I mentioned the Christmas thing because that always happens to me before Christmas.

I'm 29 and only spent one Christmas with a girlfriend. I thought that would change and i'd hit two thins year. But not meant to be.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #13
19. ARRGGGHHHH, stupid Valentine's Day!
I haven't had anyone to be with on VD for many, many, years, and I just HATE it every year. That is the one day of the year when I really hate being single and unattached; I'm one of those old-fashioned romantics, so it's really depressing to see all of the flowers/candy/candlelight dinners, jewelry, etc., etc., etc.,. being showered on other people during the day and evening and having to hear all about VD plans from co-workers, dealing with flower deliveries for others at the office, etc., etc., etc. No amount of telling myself that there's nothing wrong with being alone on VD and that it's just cultural conditioning seems to work! I'm fine by the next day, though.
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PVnRT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:19 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. Do what I do
Go to a dive somewhere, get a lot of whiskey, and glower at all the couples that come into the bar. It's about the only satisfaction I get from that piece of shit holiday.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:34 PM
Response to Reply #22
30. LOL!
That does, indeed, seem like an interesting way to handle it, since most couples seem especially smug on that day (nah hah, I've got it and you don't, nah, nah!). It's getting really bad because of my age, though, I'm a gal who's almost 39 and people (can we all say the word FAMILY here?) are starting to get that peculiarly condescending tone, I'm sure you know what I mean! I would think it's easier for men than women, though.
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slinkerwink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:26 PM
Response to Reply #19
25. just switch "Valentine's Day" with "Veneral Disease"
and you'll feel better when you hear people talking about VD....
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emily_j Donating Member (9 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #25
41. excellent
i LOVE your solution - you took the words RIGHT STRAIGHT out of my mouth.
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StopTheMorans Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:18 PM
Response to Reply #13
21. i do the same thing!
i think i have some sort of phobia. I'm serious, i can never let a relationship go into the holidays or valentine's day, it simply terrifies me, so i end up breaking them off before then. I was just thinking about this yesterday, i'm glad to see there are others out there who have had the same experiences :)
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emily_j Donating Member (9 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 02:13 PM
Response to Reply #13
40. valentine's day sucks
it's a holiday for suckers. don't ever feel bad about being alone on valentines day.

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DoctorMyEyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:04 PM
Response to Original message
14. three in one year?
You don't have the problem of being attracted to people who are really unsuitable for you, do you? It does happen...

Do you want to hear a really un-romantic story about how I found "Mr. Right" and married him three months later?

(We've been living happily ever after for nearly 5 years now - no "end of bliss" in sight)
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. Like most guys, I always want what I can't have
I would love to hear your story.
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DoctorMyEyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:20 PM
Response to Reply #16
23. awww.... you're so nice!
How nice of you to indulge me... I love to tell the story.

After being single for 10 years (following an amicable divorce), and not really dating anyone seriously in that 10 years I believed that I would spend the rest of my life without a "significant other".

My three sons were growing up, and the oldest on (out of concern for me) and the youngest one (out of a desire to get me out of the house so he could sneak in girls) convinced me that I needed to date. The prospects in my area were pretty slim, and I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I am very opinionated, passionate about my beliefs, strong willed and self-sufficient. (some might say "hard") So, my oldest signed me up with a computer dating service and insisted that I fill out the survey.

It's not the most romantic way to "make a connection" - but the real romance, I have found is in having the greatest relationship of anyone I know, and being thankful for it every day.

I met my (now) husband before my free two week trial had even expired, it was literally "love at first sight" when we finally met in person, and like I said before we were married within 3 months.

We were both in our late 30's, this is my second marriage, and his first. We are absolutely perfect for each other, hopelessly in love, disgustingly happy - and to think - he only lived 30 miles away, but we never would have met if we didn't do such a "geeky" and "desperate" thing as fill out a computer dating questionaire!?!

You too can find the "right" person! :hug:
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. well let me wait a bit
I've decided to give dating a rest for a couple of months and finish my Masters Thesis (which is on the Bush Doctrine by the way - ask me about it sometime).

After that. When the flowers return and spring arrives i'll get back into it.
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DoctorMyEyes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:30 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. That sounds like a good plan!
I'm glad you're not broken hearted.

With the holidays coming and your being busy on your thesis it's probably not the best time to encourage distractions. Good luck with your thesis - I'd love to read it when you're through.

Just keep in mind that there are lots of really great people out there hoping for a meaningful relationship - but, they don't necessarily show up where you need them to in order to meet them.

:)
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emily_j Donating Member (9 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 02:20 PM
Response to Reply #24
42. grand idea
it is fulfilling to get to know yourself by yourself. i should know.
tell me more about your bush doctrine thesis.


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hussar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:08 PM
Response to Original message
17. Sorry to hear that bro
but I've been there, done that, got the bloody broken heart mate.

I know you'll find the one, all a matter of time

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Beaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
26. Would it bother you if I started dating her?
Edited on Mon Nov-10-03 12:29 PM by Beaker
or she already getting banged by someone else?
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. go ahead
...she's available.
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WoodrowFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:31 PM
Response to Original message
28. have you met slinkerwink
she's single and cold in need of warming.

(seriously, i'm sorry dude)
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
32. Buck Up, Little Camper!
I'm 45 and I've been putting up with this kind of female behavior for twenty-eight years.

And the Answer is ...

You don't need a woman to make you whole.

Imagine what your life would be like if you didn't have the intense need to be in a relationship to verify your existence. Imagine what it would be like if you, yourself, were OK.

It would kind of be like living in virtual reality, on the (Schiz-)Matrix, in cyberspace, as a being of pure energy, etc. Or something like that. Right?

Imagine the freedom you would have if you could wake up in the morning and say to yourself I just don't need it. You could want it if you chose it, and you could take it if it was offered, but you wouldn't have the compulsion or the sense of emptiness.

The first setp toward Egolessness is Needinesslessness.

Evolve!

--bkl
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. Bareknuckle, that is very insightful
I have to admit there is merit to that argument. Thanks a lot.
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regularguy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 02:34 PM
Response to Reply #34
44. Merit yes, but no chicks!
Female company rules; it's ok to want it!
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #44
46. lol, ya you're right
And they smell nice, too.
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emily_j Donating Member (9 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #32
43. THANK you.
that's exactly how i wake up in the morning and was concerned there was something wrong with me. glad to know you approve.
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angee_is_mad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
38. What did you do to her?
Or what didn't you do?
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jeter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 03:45 PM
Response to Reply #38
45. It just wasn't meant to be
At first we were hot and heavy. Then it just kind of got boring. We didn't have much in common. Conversations and dates became more infrequent. Eventually the end came. I guess it was inevitable. Like I wrote, i'm not too depressed about it. Just would've liked it to work out. It's been a while since i've been in a long term relationship (something longer than 4 months). It's not like I thought she was "the one." Just a bit bummed that it ended and i'm back to having no one.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-10-03 04:11 PM
Response to Original message
47. How're you doing?
Edited on Mon Nov-10-03 04:12 PM by GoddessOfGuinness
Taking a vacation from relationships can be a rewarding experience.
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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-11-03 02:04 AM
Response to Original message
49. I change my underwear less often
It takes me 7 years to figure out if a relationship is working or not.
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CanuckAmok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-11-03 02:05 AM
Response to Original message
50. Just think of all the diamond tennis bracelets you won't have to buy...
...Cheer up.
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