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usregimechange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:23 PM
Original message
My bills exceed my income, what to do...
Prostitution?
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Kire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:24 PM
Response to Original message
1. pray
and don't sin
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. How can you afford to go to prostitu.... oh.
Never mind.
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ladjf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
3. I hate to do you this way but you've either got to make more
or spend less. Baring health catastrophes, there are always ways to live within your means. (not easy ones though)
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usregimechange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Not with my wife.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #5
11. I have/had that problem
That was a major factor in my recent separation.
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usregimechange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:35 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. But the sex is good.
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ladjf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. Oh my God! That makes it worse. You are in a double bind.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. did you marry my ex-wife?
intelligent, fairly liberal, attractive, great in bed, but just a disaster with money and she couldn't stop spending it, and then if she was unhappy, she'd spend more to cheer herself up.

one of the main reasons we're divorced now.

It took me years to dig out of the debt she left me in... luckily, I remarried and I have a very intelligent, more attractive wife who is great with money now.


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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:49 PM
Response to Reply #12
20. Sounds like
prostitution might be cheaper, though.


(I hope you take that with the lighthearted humor with which I meant it!<G> ;)
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ladjf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #5
14. Hmm. Been there. The only solution in that case is to set up
the financial affairs so that she literally has no authority to spend anything. (That is if she is totally out of control. She would need counseling. But, that's expensive.)

It can be done. You might lose a wife in the process.
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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:37 PM
Response to Reply #14
30. this sounds like my brother's situation; his wife is the last
of the big-time spenders
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:06 PM
Response to Reply #5
24. That is a problem for me too
The problem is that unless you get a job that pays a lot more as opposed to getting a raise or even a hundred a week or so more, she will probably spend that "extra" money. My husband was spoiled as a child. As a result, he still feels entitled to buy things that he wants even though we don't really have extra money, especially with the price of gas.
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ClintonTyree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
4. Deficits don't matter.............
remember? It's Reagan/Bush economics 101. Deficits don't matter!
Try telling that to the bill collectors when they call, right? :eyes:
I don't know what to tell you. Either the income has to rise or the expenditures have to fall. Your choice.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:29 PM
Response to Original message
6. Cancel and sell everything you can
Pay the bills that are gauranteed with property first (house, car, etc). Call credit card companies and explain your situation and work out a payoff arrangement.


Is this temporary, as in you lost a job or source of income but expect to get a better one soon? Or is this a sudden, unexpected bill? If you think it will be long-term, consider moving to cheaper housing and selling your car for a less expensive model, and get a part-time job (probably not prostitution, though it pays well if you're really good at it) to pay off some of your debt.

Just some thoughts.
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usregimechange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:33 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Thanks, I have student debt and my career doesn't pay like it
should. See I failed my Boards to be a license social worker. I am working as a caseworker/SA counselor and it pays like my teenage factory jobs did. Plus we have maxed credit cards. My wife spends more than she should. I have confronted her with it but she makes excuses. I have never been able to counsel family members. :shrug:
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #9
18. Student loans
If they are not consolidated, you can get them consolidated for a lower interest rate and extend the payments out for 20 years, I think. I had grad school debt, and had to do that. The idea is not to take 20 years, but to get the payment as low as you can until you can pay it off quicker.

Also, student loans used to be required to lower or even halt their payments if you could show you couldn't pay them. If you haven't called about that, do so.

Last, my spouse wouldn't stop spending, either. Every time I would get a card paid down, she'd find it and max it out--usually over the limit, so we;d havce fees and higher interests. Our CC debt is unbelievable to most people--including myself. I finally separated our finances, so that she paid her own bills and I paid mine. She makes more than me, so I took the lion's share of debt and left her with the most disposable income. Didn't help--she would get new cards in the mail and run them up. Finally, for other reasons, too, we separated.

That's not really advice, just commiserating. But you need to find a way to make it serious to her. You also--I say this cautiously--need to be brutally honest and make sure some of it isn't you. Not just whether you are spending as much as her, but also whether you are somehow leaving her no recourse but to run up more debt or else have no spending. (I only say this because I was doing that, though I tried to deny it).

This will drive you into a depression and a sense of hopelessness that will affect everything about you and your marriage. If you aren't already having other marital issues, this will create one. At some point you will hate her, feeling like she's stolen your future, because you will realize you have no way to save for the future, you will only be paying off debt for the future. So you need to find some drastic way to make her realize what's happening. Maybe marriage counselling.

Just my thoughts. I've been there--still there, actually. Then again, my methods haven't worked miracles, either, so if you get better advice, take it. My way is a slow way, so far.
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #9
25. what sort of excuses does she make?
Does she turn it around & make you feel guilty for questioning her? Maybe gentle reasoning can work. Sometimes, just sitting down & explaining things to her can help, too - my ex sometimes didn't realize she was spending so friggin' much (Me: "you know we went out to dinner 5 times last week?" Her: "no way, we did not!" Me: "yes, on Monday, we went here, Tuesday to this expensive restaurant,..." It slowed her down for a bit at least.

What does she do for work?

Otherwise, Dick Cheney says selling things on eBay is big business these days, too. In a few short weeks, you can be the next Wal-Mart.


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barb162 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:42 PM
Response to Reply #9
31. Take the credit cards from her and rip them up; no choice
And give her a set amount of cash a week to spend. I hate saying this but it sounds like this is the only alternative at this point. This isn't about counseling as much as financial survival and if she can't figure out money doesn't grow on trees yet, she needs an allowance until you guys get out of the hole.
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SoCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #9
35. You could file Chapter 7 if you do it BEFORE October
when the law changes :grr:. Then REFUSE any offers of credit cards that come in afterwards.... Open a separate account before you file though.. one that's in your name only, and save some $$ in that one..

Once the CC bills are no more, you should have some extra $$.
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Reverend_Smitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
7. you could always look into drug trafficking or money laundering
but seriously debt sucks...I've got student loans coming out of my ears right now
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DBoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
8. are you holding down 3 jobs?
If not, you should do so.

Our president says it is the "uniquely American" way to live.

You trust him, don't you?


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usregimechange Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:34 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. For sure, a night time baby sitter? Oh wait, I shouldn't have had kids
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DBoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #10
26. Now you know that post was sarcasm
Bush has yet to hold ONE job worth speaking about.
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LeftyDarthBrodie Donating Member (941 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. He's holding down three jobs now
how do you think he's affording that ranch on $400 thousand dollars a year.
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soothsayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:41 PM
Response to Original message
16. Why didn't you buy oil futures at $10/barrel? Or invest in
Halliburton? woulda' made a fortune!
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MercutioATC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:43 PM
Response to Original message
17. Bankruptcy (but do it before October)
In October, it's going to be a LOT more difficult.
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:52 PM
Response to Original message
21. I'm sort of dealing with this issue myself
Luckily, one of our credit cards is letting us out of 80% of our debt. We are sort of hiding from the debt collectors from the medical bills. I am trying to get a better paying job, but nothing that I could get around here pays well without involving rotating shifts and probably being more physical than I could handle. Part time jobs pay so poorly that I wonder if getting one would be worth it because if I have to miss my primary job because I got sick or overly fatigued because of the second, it would not because there is no sick pay at my current job.
I have joked that I should take up exotic dancing as a part time job. Unfortunately, that is incompatible with my self image, I cannot move well in heels, and my husband wouldn't want me to do it either.
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Lisa0825 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 03:57 PM
Response to Original message
22. Downsize, simplify, and negotiate.
First thing I'd do is see about getting a student loan deferment.

Can you cancel the cable and the high speed internet access? (Just for example)

Try tracking every dime you spend as a family and see what can be trimmed. I cut $100 a month off my spending just by making a couple painless changes in routines. For example, I reduced the number of times I buy lunch to once a week from 2-3 times a week. That saved me about $50 a month alone.

Next, negotiate with your creditors. Before doing so, check these two resources:

http://www.ArtofCredit.com
http://www.creditinfocenter.com

Also, there are lots of books out there on getting finances in order. Go to a library or used book store, and pick up a few books.

DO NOT go with credit counseling services, however. That'll look worse than bankruptcy on your credit report. And do NOT negotiate any payoffs until you read the info at those sites. You need to make sure you negotiate properly so that they will not leave anything negative on your report.
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. You can get your loans deferred?
With how I read it, that only happened if you weren't employed or if you were going to school. There was also something that said if you were low income that your payments did not have to exceed 20% of your income. I am still better off with my current payment, most of the time.
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Lisa0825 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:50 PM
Response to Reply #23
32. It may depend on who your lender or guarantor is....
But on the Texas Guaranteed Student Loan page, it says you can get a deferment of up to 36 months for the reason of "economic hardship," if you "exceed a federally defined debt-to-income ratio."
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
27. sell stuff on ebay
grill sammiches until you get one that looks like Jeebus or his mom.
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:32 PM
Response to Original message
28. bankruptcy
not enough info but bankruptcy is usually the best way to clear bills you can't possibly pay

if there is a way to increase your income try that route first, of course
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 04:36 PM
Response to Original message
29. Join the club
Prostitution isn't even an option for me - I'd have to pay someone to patronize me. ~sigh~
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SKKY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:04 PM
Response to Original message
33. By how much? I sold plasma in college to provide "Beer Money"...
...$45.00 dollars three times a week. Almost more than I made working at UPS.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-15-05 05:05 PM
Response to Original message
34. Creative Financing
Stagger them so that you can pay them at strategic pay periods...
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