Have you ever had knitting needles jabbed into your eyes?

[Floogeldy]

[ltfranklin]

1. No, But...

Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked, in the head, by an iron boot? Of course you don't--no one does--that never happens.

[LoZoccolo]

2. Michael O'Donoghue on SNL, 1976

I happen to catch their show last week and a funny thought occurred to me. I thought, what if someone took steel needles, say, um, fifteen, eighteen inches long -- with real sharp points -- and plunged them into Tony Orlando -- and Dawn's -- eyes.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75umrmike.phtml

[Floogeldy]

3. Yes!