Check in here: My mother always said...

[Fridays Child]

"If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all."

(I guess I was a smartass even as a child.)

What did/does your mother always say?

[Darth_Kitten]

1. She advises me to say the Serenity Prayer often.

[Fridays Child]

2. That's a good meditation for anyone.

[Bluzmann57]

3. "It's not what you say, it's how you say it".

And others were, "Eat your vegetables!", "Do your homework!". Many many others. But she tried like hell to raise a good son. It ain't her fault how I turned out.

[Fridays Child]

9. Smart mom. She was right about how words are said.

I say the same thing to mu husband all the time.

[Shoeempress]

4. If you are so outspoken no man will love you.

At least she used to tell me that when we spoke, and before I was married.

[Fridays Child]

10. Any man who couldn't deal with your outspoken manner...

...probably wasn't worth it, anyway. Thankfully, our silent days are long gone.

[Shoeempress]

13. Funny thing was she is this incredibly strong woman who had a career

when this was not done and was married. WTF

[sniffa]

5. don't pLay baLL in the house

Image

[Fridays Child]

29. That one has stood the test of time.

[trackfan]

6. "Don't just sit there like a bump on a log".

or

"You look like the statue of 'what's the use'".
(Whatever that was supposed to mean)

[Fridays Child]

14. It's from "The Head-Hunter" by O. Henry.

"Old Atasca, an untrained Indian nurse, sat near the door like a petrified statue of What's-the-Use, attending to her duties, which were, mainly, to see that time went by without slipping a cog."

http://www.literaturecollection.com/a/o_henry/91/

[trof]

7. "You're just skimming the surface of life."

I still don't know what she meant, and I guess I'm still skimming.
Suits me just fine.

[Fridays Child]

28. Well, somebody has to do it.

Otherwise, it gets covered with bugs.

[Reverend_Smitty]

8. never argue with an idiot

they'll only bring you down to their level and then beat you with experience

[Crazy Guggenheim]

11. "You are stupid and everyone else is smarter than you!"

[Fridays Child]

15. Not exactly big on encouragement, was she?

[Crazy Guggenheim]

19. Incredible. I couldn't imagine such a thing if it were someone else.

[gmoney]

12. "It's times like this I wish I'd listened to what my mother told me..."

"Why? What did she tell you?"

"How should I know? I wasn't listening!"

[caty]

16. The ever famous:

"Because I said so!"

[Fridays Child]

23. Hated that one, as a kid; love it, as a mom.

[caty]

33. I must confess,

I used it myself. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[skygazer]

17. "Tie your shoelace before you trip on it and break your neck"

"Don't run on the stairs or you'll fall down them and break your neck."

"Don't hang your arm out the car window or a passing truck with take it right off."

All my mother's sayings included dire warnings of what would happen if I didn't do what she said. None of them ever happened but she died when I was 14 and I'd really love to hear them all again.

[nytemare]

18. "Your face will get stuck like that"

[Fridays Child]

32. Longitudinal studies have disproved that theory.

[nytemare]

37. I found out my abilities by my mom commenting that something grossed her

out. I can poke my shoulderblades out in back. I would never have known if she didn't scream, "Groooooooooossss, stop it!"

[Fridays Child]

46. Very cool. Double-jointed shoulder blades.

I've seen that. It's quite strange looking.

[SmokingJacket]

20. "Never date a man who wears a shiny tie."

That one's held up over the years.

[Fridays Child]

25. Shiny tie, huh?

That's one I've never heard.

[China_cat]

54. Not from my mom but from a surrogate mom

Never, ever, go to bed with someone crazier than you are.

[ohiosmith]

21. I'll give you something to cry about!

[Fridays Child]

24. That was my father's.

I still hate it.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

22. "Don't eat raw cookie dough...

..you'll get worms."

I knew it was a crock even back then, but Mom was adament

Now we eat raw cookie dough together.

[Fridays Child]

26. What's her position on Steak Tartare?

[barb162]

50. yeah she wanted it all (my mom said the same)

[greatauntoftriplets]

27. "All politicians are crooks"....

God, was she smug during the Watergate scandal.

[Bunny]

30. If I have to stop this car...!!!@#&%*!!!

[Fridays Child]

60. Did she ever do it?

And what happened to you, when she did?

[Bunny]

62. No, she never stopped the car. She just reached toward the

back seat and swatted her arm, whapping anyone in reach!

[Wetzelbill]

31. you better run you little fucker!

Uh, I usually did something bad right before that.

[Fridays Child]

34. LOL!

[Kadie]

43. .

[whosonfirst]

35. If you sing at the table, you'll get a crazy husband/wife!

If you whistle, you have the devil on your toungue.

If you make faces in the mirror, your face will freeze like that.

I have a million of 'em.

[barb162]

36. shutup (just kidding)

[Hugin]

38. "You act like a Republican"...

Alas, I've been accused of being a Freeper all my life.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

39. Well mom is always right.

[Hugin]

42. Yeah, well *she* was thrown out of a DCC meeting once...

for sounding like a "Libertarian".

There was also the quip about "Secular Humanist", but,
we let that one slide.

[Pharlo]

40. "I should have raised potatoes,

but they'd have turned out rotten too."

"You've got a mouth, use it. No one is going to fight your battles for you."

"You can eat it for supper tonight, or you can eat it for breakfast tomorrow, but you ARE going to eat it."

"Every time you do something that damn stupid, I KNOW what you inherited from your father, because no one in my family is that dumb."

"I know you kids aren't perfect but I'll be damned if anyone is going to tell me that."

"Do you REALLY want to be grounded for the rest of your life?"

"How bad is the cut?.....Hell, it's not that bad, didn't even hit the bone. You don't need stitches. Wash it. Here's a bandaid, now shut up, go outside and play." (This alternated with "It's a long way from your heart, you'll live. Now, shut up, go outside and play.")

"Well, if you're that bored, go sit in the road and wait for a truck to run you over." ...

And, if we actually took her advice...

"What the hell are you doing on the road?! Get your ass in the house! NOW!!!"


Damn, I miss her...

[Fridays Child]

48. I love that little gem in the middle of all the others...

"I know you kids aren't perfect but I'll be damned if anyone is going to tell me that."

[Kadie]

41. "I don't chew my tobacco twice"

If we didn't hear her the first time we were SOL.

[Flying Dream Blues]

44. These are great...

how about
"Just WAIT till your father gets home!"

[Pharlo]

49. Actually, that was one of the cliches I wish my mother had used.

My father was in the navy, and he'd be deployed for months at a time. If my mother had used this tactic we would never have been punished, because she never would have remembered. Nope, Mom was very capable of handling any transgressions in a timely fashion.

[Fridays Child]

59. A true classic!

[mr_hat]

45. I'd fall down a manhole. Still haven't; still >

haven't a clue what she meant.

[Hugin]

47. "I wouldn't give that man shit if he were a tumble bug."

Very appropriate given the current political scene.

[Fridays Child]

56. I like your mother!

[Hugin]

61. That's only the tip of the iceberg.

Opinions are a *good* thing.

[China_cat]

51. If people are talking about you they're leaving someone else alone.

[Redstone]

52. Nothing.

Redstone

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

53. "Let's go so we can get back"

Whenever we had to go somewhere. Homebody, she. I'd reply, "Why go at all? Why not just stay home?"

[Fridays Child]

57. Sounds like me.

[RiffRandell]

55. "Because I said so."

How irritating is that?

[Gormy Cuss]

71. or, from her side

how irritating were you?


(I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Really!)


"Because I said so" was the parental phrase all my friends feared would come out of their own mouths when they became parents, and eventually all of them did say it. Exasperating kids!

[democracyindanger]

58. Don't leave your chopsticks sticking out of your rice bowl.

That's for dead people.

[Burma Jones]

63. I could have aborted you, you little shit

Of course, she has nothing to do with her Grandchildren now.......

[In_The_Wind]

64. buh-bye

I'm outta here

[SKKY]

65. "You'd better stop that or you'll go blind!"

That was shortly after I found out that she'd been lying all those years about Santa Clause, so her opinions didn't carry much weight at that point.

[SmokingJacket]

66. "If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't...

coming running to me!"

That was my friend's mom. She was a funny lady.

[Catfight]

67. blood is thicker than water. nt

[WCGreen]

68. WCGreen, you always have marched to the beat of

a different drummer....

[Shell Beau]

69. You must think money grows on trees.

It sure as hell should.

[Saphire]

70. Don't sweat the small stuff.

[Tracer]

72. "There's no friend like money in the bank".

She was absolutely right about that one!

... but she had many more ....

- "Don't count your chickens before they come home to roost".

- "The squeaky wheel gets the grease".

- "Don't cross that bridge before you come to it".

[realms]

73. Think for yourself

"When your talking, somebody's listening"
Go inward to see the meaning

[Love Bug]

74. "One of these days you'll have kids just like you!"

[Shell Beau]

76. My mom used that one on me often! Ha ha! I hope I don't.

I had a smart mouth on me sometimes. Other than that, I was never in trouble.

[RedCloud]

75. Children should be seen and not heard!

Now I am supposed to listen to my kids. My generation is being
shortchanged, I tell you.

[noonwitch]

77. "It won't hurt the first time if you're married"

Considering her grandmother told her she could get pregnant if she swam in a pool with boys....

[funkybutt]

78. "Life isn't fair"

[Love Bug]

79. "In or out -- make up your mind!"

Usually said after hearing the screen door slam for the umpteenth time that day...

[Shredr]

80. "I have interesting things to say."

My mom was always talking -- always gossipping -- and whenever I'd ask her why (not mean-spirited, just poking fun at her), this was her reply.

[bertha katzenengel]

81. "Don't run with a sucker in your mouth."

[Orsino]

82. My mother always says...

"Don't quote me on web discussion forums."