Is "breeders" a hateful term or not?

[redqueen]

Poll question: Is "breeders" a hateful term or not?

What do you think?

Poll result (118 votes)
Yes, it's hateful.	(57 votes, 48%)	Vote
No, it's fine.	(47 votes, 40%)	Vote
Chupacabra!	(14 votes, 12%)	Vote

[Moochy]

1. Hey keep Kim Deal out of this!!

[redqueen]

6. Can't fight the seether!

[asthmaticeog]

That was Veruca Salt, wasn't it?

[redqueen]

16. Pff

I'm a dumbass.

[Moochy]

25. I agree, dont fight the seether, give her a hug :)

Well not to defend redqueen, aww heck why not? seether is a term used for the angry grrl rock bands of late 80's and early 90s. So it's on topic, if technically not one of the Breeders songs.

That Veruca Salt song was about the same thing. mmmm 90's angry grrl rock.

[ghostsofgiants]

22. Yeah, you'll get a cannonball to the gut if you don't watch out

[redqueen]

42. Okay...what about Last Splash?

Did I screw up again?

[ghostsofgiants]

48. Nope, Last Splash is indeed a Breeders album

[redqueen]

79. Woohoo!

[Moochy]

82. Their best one (upon reflection, maybe second best)

And (upon reflection) one of their best album to boot!

Cool cover:

[ceile]

138. Strongly disagree!!!!

POD was by far their best!

[Moochy]

141. POD very good

Hmm. thinking back .. pod was very good, I played it into the ground though.

and the cover art was good too

[CanuckAmok]

182. "Pod" felt like another Pixies album... which is a good thing.

Kinda looks like one, too.

[cheeseit]

58. mmmm......kim

[northzax]

2. can we call other people

eunuchs?

[Larkspur]

3. I voted "No, it's fine" because in the child-free lexicon it means

irresponsible parents. I'm child-free and use it to denote irresponsible parents from responsible ones.

[redqueen]

10. That sounds like people who say they only say "nigger" about rude blacks

In other words, it's bullshit!

[Hugin]

14. Sometimes you charm me redqueen.

Pssst... Right on!

[Moochy]

37. Its complicated I think

How about when nigga is used by blacks to refer to eachother? The co-opting of a negative, like the term "Queer" or "Dyke" comes to mind.

Heck "Queer eye for the straight guy" is a patented term, whereas "Dykes on Bikes" can't be patented. (thanks bush)

Theres all kinds of power in these words, and when a group takes them back thats also a kind of empowerment. I'm just posing the premise that its more complicated than just a "bad words list"

[redqueen]

46. Hence my inability to come down firmly on one side or the other.

I think in those cases, it's clear that the person saying it was not intending for the term to be derogatory... so I'd say that's OK. Someone saying it for derogatory reasons, though... as in the case with what one percieves to be bad parenting... that I don't think is so OK.

[intrepid_wanderer]

62. EXACTLY ON THE SPOT!!! n/t

[Lucky Luciano]

4. huh?

I am clearly out of the loop.

[Maestro]

5. I don't mind

My gay friends always call me a breeder. I always tell them that my genes are the only ones worth passing.

[ugarte]

7. I've heard it applied to Mexicans so, yes, in some cases

[sundog]

8. i don't like it

never really used it

[TK421]

9. They only had one song I liked, that was it

[In_The_Wind]

11. extremely

from my point of view

[lukasahero]

12. Child-free by choice and I find it repugnant

Maybe I'm not up on the lexicon but, in my opinion, I think it is just another way to devalue the feminine. Sorry, I would never call someone that just as I would never use any other bigoted slur.

[Kraklen]

13. Seems like the word "cracker."

i.e. used by an oppressed minority towards the minority. It carries no weight.

[redqueen]

17. It disturbs me. Does that not give it weight?

I would even go so far as to say it hurts me... yes, I think that's accurate.

[Kraklen]

19. Are you offended by the word "cracker?"

I'm not.

[redqueen]

24. Yes, if the person saying it is being hateful.

[Kraklen]

32. How about jokes about men?

For example, a couple of days ago somebody posted a thread "The Rules (for men)."

This was, apparently, the opposite but equivalent of a series of jokes by women aimed at men.

This was locked by a moderator under the argument that since women had been treated like cattle by men for thousands of years they had earned the right to crackwise about the opposite gender, while the opposite was inappropriate.

Do you disagree?

[redqueen]

35. I haven't decided yet.

I'm still on the fence about the whole "okay when it's joking" vs. "never okay becase..." argument.

When I hear some jokes about women, it is hurtful... sometimes I just laugh... so... I really just don't know. I tend to lean towards it being wrong, period... since I know that even though something doesn't offend ME, personally... that someone out there may be hurt by it. so... anyway.

[Gormy Cuss]

Um, there's a little more to it than that.

First, economically advantaged whites use terms like "cracker" and "trailer trash" to put down other whites. Would that not change the weight?

Second, even when a term is used by an oppressed minority towards the majority it can be hateful, just not carrying the weight of terms that imply power to discriminate over the labelled group (which I'm guessing is what you mean by weight.) Calling people breeders can be hateful but not worthy of civil rights protection.

[Kraklen]

71. Well yeah, and calling someone a "doo doo head"

can be hateful too. I'm not going to get upset over that one either.

[redqueen]

74. Is there a group of "doo doo head"s around to be offended?

Kind of a red herring, isn't that?

[Moochy]

Doo Doo head

More of a brown monkey than a red herring.

[Kraklen]

169. Apparently there is.

But if the doo doo heads were in the majority and were oppressing those in the minority who were calling them "doo doo heads" then the doo doo heads really have nothing to be complaining about.

[Gormy Cuss]

153. Kraklen, you crack me up.

The question isn't whether it bothers you personally, it's whether it's a hateful term. There are tons of terms that don't bother me personally, even when they're said to me specifically in a hateful manner. Whenever a term sets up a implied YOU PEOPLE, it's a good bet it's not meant in a loving way. That is how I differentiate hateful terms. Remember, "hateful" doesn't always mean "hate speech" in an actionable civil rights violation way.

Name calling is against the rules here, otherwise I'd call you a tofurky-loving doo doo head.

[asthmaticeog]

15. I think it's a contemptuous term.

I don't think I've ever heard it applied to humans in a purely descriptive manner.

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. I am more than my uterus

[hlthe2b]

20. You boil a woman's entire worth down to a biologic function...

and you have to ask?

So, how do you feel about men being referred to as dicks?

How anyone can be so damned insensitive and purport to be a progressive, I just don't know.

[tishaLA]

36. It refers to both men and women

It's slang for straight

[kick-ass-bob]

41. uhhh... straight = breeders.

its not a woman thing.

[hlthe2b]

60. Fine, offend and condescend to the very ones who support gay rights...

Great strategy...

Obnoxious, rude, crude, and arrogant.

[kick-ass-bob]

63. everything depends on context.

take your post for example - that was quite condescending.


Back to 'breeders'
Sometimes it's a joke - and that is the only context I have ever heard it in.

[hlthe2b]

70. ...

perhaps you need to look inward, yourself.

[kick-ass-bob]

87. hahahahahaha!

that would be very funny if you knew me at all.

peace.

[redqueen]

76. .

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[kick-ass-bob]

81. aha.

Well, an asshole is just an asshole, no matter what words they use!

[Misunderestimator]

139. In that context, I agree that it is a derogatory use of the term.

Absolutely.

[Greyhound]

67. God if that's the worst thing anybody calls me, I've had a good day

I have one (a dick,) and to have someone point that out, I take as a compliment.

How can you be so damned sensitive and not explode from the daily onslaught?

And it does apply to the couple, not just the woman.

[redqueen]

78. Daily onslaught?

How many people hurl insults at groups you're a member of on an average day?

[hlthe2b]

85. I'm sorry to hear that (if that's the worst thing anybody calls me..

...had a good day).

I am fortunate to work and live among thos who show respect for each other, including those different from them. I try to do so as well.

I wish that for you as well.

[redqueen]

91. Maybe he works with Rush Limbaugh?

[Greyhound]

97. Well, I do live in a deep red State

So yes, there is a lack of civility. OTOH, I lived in (neon blue) LA for many years and found people to be no kinder, nor caring there.

[xmas74]

155. Every single time I have ever heard the comment in

public it has always applied to a woman. Usually it applies to a woman who seems to be a member of the "lower tiers" of our society.
It's rude and it's vulgar. I would never call someone else a name of that nature. It hurts when those comments are made. It tells me that the only thing you see about me is the fact that I have a child. It makes me feel like I am not respected for what accomplishments I might have made or what I think or feel or support. It brings me down to a basic biological level.

BTW-I don't call people "d*cks" either. That's just a rude comment. You have a penis and it should be called that.

[Amaya]

21. Yes, it's rude

nt

[AntiCoup2K4]

23. I've never been offended by it personally

But my dictionary defines it as "a derogatory slang term against heterosexuals", so that was probably the intention of whomever first used the word in that sense.

Since I don't have any children, I'm not doing a great job at "breeding" anyhow.

[redqueen]

26. Hah!

The dictionary rules all... case closed!

[Moochy]

34. I'm offended for group X

Offense is relative, I'm not offended by it but others are, so thats really what matters.

I cant get offended by it just because someone else is.

Isnt' that false indignation?

[redqueen]

38. Hmmm.. is it?

I mean... if you feign offense, I guess... but I mean not feigning the feeling of being offended yourself... just showing consideration for people who are offended, even if you're not.

Did that make sense?

[Moochy]

51. Consideration yes

I meant for me to get offended would be false indignation.

It's one of those things that we liberals sometimes get accused of, and sometimes rightly so. getting offended for others, and in mixed company I am sure not to use it.

Intentionality is hard to convey on message boards, and alot easier in person with friends.

[last_texas_dem]

27. Interesting

Although I don't use the term, I was going to post that I just see it as sort of a sarcastic, silly sort of term more than an insulting one. However, I see it as a term directed at those who are parents and not only at women. If it were only being directed at child-bearing women, as some DUers see it, I would likely see it as more offensive; however, that is not the only way I've seen it used.

[redqueen]

47. I'm offended when it's used about parents.

Clearly it's not just me...

[SarahB]

28. Yep.

Anyone ever use it as a compliment?

[Old_Fart]

29. "I hate it"

It makes the human race sound like an experiment "breeder rats". I hate the term and whomever came up with it sounds as if they were filled with hate.

[Shell Beau]

30. In what sense?

Dog breeders? No

People as breeders? Kind of

If it is in a joking manner, no. But to refer to someone as a breeder b/c you don't agree with their parenting skills, then it seems rude.

[redqueen]

50. Yeah... for parents.

I'm seeing some comments that reflect that the term is used jokingly among friends... that's not what I'm talking about, though.

Happy birthday!

[Shell Beau]

53. Aw, thanks!

[Lavender Brown]

31. It's sometimes, but not always, meant to be derisive

Used in a joking way, it doesn't bother me.

[Misunderestimator]

33. It's more of a retaliatory term... like saying gringas or honkies

Calling someone breeder hardly matches calling someone fag or dyke, anymore than gringas and honkies match the n-word.

That said, it's not a loving term... but I wouldn't exactly call it a hateful one either. When I use it, I use it with straight friends... and it's meant teasingly. FWIW...

[redqueen]

52. Yeah, the teasing thing isn't what I mean at all.

My friends call me a bitch and I'm fine with it... but someone on here calls someone they don't personally know a bitch because they're unhappy with their actions... that's the sort of usage that started this thread.

[Misunderestimator]

Ok, then I can get that... any term could be used that way, but breeders

is a loaded one. I can definitely get how it's derisive coming from a position of hate. I've just never seen it used that way, though i'm sure it is.

(And yeah, a close friend, especially a gay one, could call me a dyke and it would definitely not have the same weight as a stranger here, especially a straight one, calling me that.)

[redqueen]

65. Yes! Great point... lots of terms can be used in a hateful way.

And when it's aimed at a group I'm in, I feel hurt / offended.

[sniffa]

145. i have gringo tattooed on me

that's how hatefuL i am.

[redqueen]

146. Why not Guero?

[sniffa]

147. y no habLa espanoL

what's guero?

[redqueen]

159. Another word for "white boy"

[sniffa]

164. i'm a gringo Loco

[redqueen]

167. That's the very best kind!

[Xipe Totec]

186. Almost correct. - Güero

Don't forget the dieresis over the u.

And it actually means 'blondie' rather than white boy. It is a term of endearment.

[Misunderestimator]

148. I had a girlfriend who called me gringa constantly..

was only tiresome because of its monotony and unimaginativeness ...

(Do you really have gringo tattooed on you?)

[sniffa]

150. aww

i do indeed have that tat.

i sent it to you.

[Misunderestimator]

156. I LOVE it!!

[sniffa]

158. thank you

[I Know How To Do it]

39. I am outraged by it's usage!

what does it mean?

[Finder]

43. lol n/t

[redqueen]

54. It refers to heterosexuals.

Sometimes used jokingly, sometimes in an ugly way.

When used in the ugly way, I can't see it as anything but offensive and hateful.

[I Know How To Do it]

59. You're allowed to talk dirty on these boards?

[kick-ass-bob]

66. yit?

[I Know How To Do it]

68. I don't know that word.

[progmom]

72. i was wondering something similar

[Misunderestimator]

73. Maybe it's a relative.

[kick-ass-bob]

75. at first glance, I thought you said 'laxative'

not 'relative'

I think I need my brain checked.

[Misunderestimator]

80. ...

[progmom]

84. you found a use for that smiley!!!

[kick-ass-bob]

90. that was her first :spray:

I'm honored

[progmom]

94. no...it was her first

i also like this one:

[kick-ass-bob]

102. ahhh - gotcha.

I was wondering.

[Misunderestimator]

103. Here...

[kick-ass-bob]

106. are you checking my brain?

I hope so, because I am really having trouble using it correctly today.

[Misunderestimator]

110. Nyuck nyuck nyuck

Nah... you're brain's probably just fine...

[Misunderestimator]

92. My work is done.

[progmom]

96. hmmmm

[Misunderestimator]

100. LOL! Does that mean that you didn't see me curtsy? Here:

[progmom]

104. lovely - how very femme of you

[Misunderestimator]

113. I am very versatile...

Thank you very much...

Edited to add this in case you see a red x again...

[progmom]

123. i love it!!!!!

you need to add that to your sig line.

[StopTheMorans]

180. snap?

SNAP!

[gmoney]

174. all depends on the context...

You can say "I reallly fucked up at work today" but you CAN'T say "I f***ed a coworker today" unless perhaps you "fucked them over" which is permissible. Clear as day?

Essentially, it boils down to no sex threads, but foul language may run amok.

[Finder]

40. Depends on the context...

but I don't take offense to it personally and use the term to describe myself in some discussions. I have seen it used in a derogatory context but...I am in the "sticks and stones....but names can never hurt me" camp.

[progmom]

44. I've only been called a breeder by my gay friends

I've never taken offense - I thought it was comical. I suppose if it was hurled as an insult I would react differently.

[kick-ass-bob]

45. A gay friend calls us breeders

and it is funny.

Now, if someone came up and said - 'look at those fucking breeders' obviously that would be quite different

[LeftyMom]

49. It reduces a complex social function to a simple biological one

and minimizes my role as a mother. Breeding is the easy part (well, for myself and most people, for some it's a time consuming endeavor and a huge expense) parenting is a great deal more difficult and has much greater consequences for failure.

[Greyhound]

86. I think that is the point...

Breeder denotes (IMO) an irresponsible person that fulfilled the biological imperative without following it up with actual parenting. They just have 'em & turn 'em lose on the rest of us, and expect that we'll just quietly accept their imposition.

[LeftyMom]

109. It isn't always used that way

it's frequently used to divide the world into childfree people and breeders, or GLBT people and breeders (which isn't even a good dividing line, as there are plenty of GLBT people with kids.)

Even when used to denote lousy parents only, creating a label reduces society's responsibility to help that family to one to pass judgement. A child is not an imposition, a child is a human being and in the sort of situation you describe, that child needs help and compassion. Sometimes helping the parents up rather than tearing them down does our society a great deal of good. It's less fun than sneering and calling names, but we're liberals. We help people- right?

[Greyhound]

131. There can be no responsibility without accountability

And as long as we insist on allowing unrestricted breeding regardless of capacity, society has no responsibility to pick up the slack. That is just madness.
Do you dispute that most, if not all, of Humanities problems are due, directly or indirectly, to the insane over-population of our species?
What is it now? 8 billion?

[LeftyMom]

142. I'd say most of our problems are due to greed

I'd think overpopulation would be less of an issue if all people had access to birth control, abortion and other basic health care options, and if land and wealth were distributed more equitably.

For every parent out there who just has little facility with children, there are many who are forced by circumstance to do things the know aren't good for thier kids, like leaving them home alone too young, feeding them poor quality food, or letting them watch too much tv, as a result of lack of time or money.

[Greyhound]

151. But if say there were 1 billion on the planet, wouldn't the resulting...

abidance make greed impractical? I mean, isn't greed a result of a scarcity of resources, which makes the hoarding of those resources valuable? If everybody could get all they need, what value would more have?

[LeftyMom]

163. There were roughly 1 billion humans in 1800 and greed persisted

As a practical matter, I don't see how the population back down to 1 billion without some sort of doomsday scenario. People have an instinctual need to perpetuate thier genes, and kids are wonderful and worth having, even in areas where birthing a few farmhands or a child to care for you in your old age isn't an economic necessity.

[Greyhound]

179. Do you think the 19th century is really comparable to the 21st?

And I believe the issue is scarcity not absolute numbers.
C'mon rapture!
That'll get about a billion off the freeways.

[cheeseit]

55. Yup. It directly asserts heterosexuals exist purely for reproduction.

I think it's an extremely unpleasant term. You might as well call women "incubators".

[redqueen]

57. Thanks... great analogy!

Welcome to DU!

[Debi]

69. We could use the name 'inci' for short...

I'm on the fence with the term 'breeders' as I could see it coming as a joke and not having a problem with it.

I think when any term is used in anger or to offend it becomes offensive. (Why do we get pissed off when Karl Rove uses the word Liberal? aren't we?)

[SOteric]

56. I'm unclear as to whether it's hateful,

but I'm fairly certain it's not meant as a compliment.

[Pool Hall Ace]

61. I rarely use the term, and

while it's not meant to demean, it is meant to bring those parents down a peg who are overly impressed with the fact that they have issued forth a human being from their loins.

It's a subtle reminder that, "hey, you aren't that special."

I believe the hipmamas have since co-opted the term, but given that so many parents look upon childfree folks with such disdain, I don't know why it would bother them.

[barb162]

64. I tend to use it for people who have a lot of kids and who really don't

take care of the kids, people who are rotten parents, as in breed first, maybe think about parenting or how to feed them later. I often mean it in a derogatory way.

[redqueen]

83. See post #10

[barb162]

114. I saw your post before I wrote, understand your (good) point

But I still know people who thought about parenting after they "bred" maybe one or two or three or more kids too many. These are usually the parents whose kids are screwing up badly, getting in trouble with the police and the parents will say: I just don't know how they got that way, I mean, I just don't undrestand it!

[redqueen]

117. I know the types...

but just like I wouldn't call black people with attitude problems or what have you "niggers"... I wouldn't call people with less-than-adequate parenting skills "breeders"... I wouldn't call a woman I disagreed with a "bitch"...

[barb162]

132. agree with you on first and third examples

but I still call the incompetent parents breeders

[redqueen]

144. As is your right as an American.

[matcom]

77. I Think It Is WONDERFUL!

oh wait








hang on i have to get something








brb









got it! a fresh batch

ok. NOW I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL

[redqueen]

88. hahahahahah

[blindpig]

89. If it's used as a statement of biological fact

I see no problem. On a grossly overpopulated planet breeding and the amount of breeding one does is certainly revelant.

[Beware the Beast Man]

93. It all depends on the context of its use.

[redqueen]

YES!

EXACTLY!!!!

[Ikonoklast]

95. Say it to my face

and I'll let you know how I feel.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

98. Nope. Not complimentary, but not a slur either.

[jonnyblitz]

149. why do you have Imus in your sigline?

just curious...

[Kathy in Cambridge]

176. It's not Imus. It's a joke for a DUer who posts this in response to

'Northeast elitists'.

I figured I'd put it in my sig line so I can save him the trouble of responding with it.

[I Know How To Do it]

99. To be perfectly honest for maybe the first time on here.

I think the term is so idiotic, that I would probably start laughing if I were ever to be called one out of malice. The whole group of friends I hang out with all call each other names. Breeder just made that list.

[redqueen]

101. Key word in your example: friends.

Wouldja say it to a stranger because you don't like their parenting methods, and see what happens, then check back and let us know how it went?

[I Know How To Do it]

108. I probably wouldn't call anybody that if I didn't know them well.

If somebody I didn't know called me that I'd probably roll my eyes and start laughing. It wouldn't phase me in the least.

[redqueen]

112. Yes, well...

it's not like I started crying...

However, when I read the term, it did rankle me.

[Misunderestimator]

107. Wait... Are you saying that 65 posts of yours were DISHONEST?

Huh?

[kick-ass-bob]

111. I thought there were lots more.

[Misunderestimator]

116. I can only assume there will be many more...

But at least we have confirmation that the 65 initial posts lacked "perfect honesty"...

[I Know How To Do it]

115. Yeah some were dishonest, like the ones I made in the Share some

Trivia thread.
I said it is illegal to pet a cat backwards in Scotland, among other things.

I would maybe say that most of my posts aren't very sincere.

[Misunderestimator]

119. Most of your posts aren't very sincere... well, thanks for that info...

sure will save me a lot of aggravation...

[I Know How To Do it]

121. Why do you hate my freedom to be an idiot so much?

[Misunderestimator]

124. You're perfectly free... to be all that you can be...

[I Know How To Do it]

128. Alas, it is a rather lofty goal.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

105. I first became familiar with the term "breeder"...

w-a-y back in the day here in SF in the gay community -- it's been used here that I know of since the 70s. It was then meant as a nasty term for straights. I still have gay friends/aquaintences who use it in a negative way -- even in my "breeder" presence. I've actually sat in on conversations in which it was discussed how much better the world would be if all the "breeders" were gone and it was just gays. I sometimes have to remind folks to tone it down, there's a "breeder" in the room.

Interestingly, I still hear the word used strictly in reference to straights, even though there is a now a HUGE community of "breeding" gays and lesbians here in the City.

[matcom]

118. what I need to know is......

Do broods of breeders drink beer?

[Misunderestimator]

120. Only when brooding about broads and brooms and brawling brides

[matcom]

125. "broads" is offensive

i prefer "skirts" and web sites for free

[Misunderestimator]

126. Can you design my website... I've been meaning to ask you...

I could like make you dinner or something. Please?

[matcom]

129. only if its a lesbian porn site and i can also be the photographer

oh, and you have to sit on my lap whilst i design it

[Misunderestimator]

130. ...

[redqueen]

133. You BOTH forgot BOOBS?!

Falling down on the job, you are!

[Misunderestimator]

137. BR.... like... Bruised and broken brats bragging about breaking bread.

If boobs was spelled BROOBS, I surely would have used it.

[redqueen]

140. hahah oops!

Wait... what about breasts?

Wait... why am I fixated on mammary glands today?

[Misunderestimator]

143. While broiling breasts and browning brie in the brig.

[Greyhound]

135. LMAO n/t

[kick-ass-bob]

122. stop confusing people in the middle of a flame war!!

[matcom]

127. shit

i keep forgetting that rule. my bad

[In_The_Wind]

134. probably

[pdx_prog]

136. I have three kids....

Plus one that I never got the chance to see.....and three grandkids....I suppose I have done my share of "breeding"

I have to admit, I have never even heard the word used in that context more than one or two times.

I feel there is enough hate in the world without adding to it....

[bertha katzenengel]

152. Yes it is. When I have used it myself (I'm not proud of that) it has

always been uttered under my breath thus: "Fuckin' breeders."

And it's always been in response to seeing one or two things: a het couple groping each other in public, or a "nice family dinner out" that becomes a screamfest, with one parent or the other slapping a child or carrying it out of the restaurant by an arm.

[Greyhound]

154. As usual the Chupacabras are the swing vote ;D

But seriously, calling those people parents demeans all of you that are actually parenting your kids.

[tjdee]

157. There's not a derogatory term for childless people, ya know.

I don't like the term breeder, it rubs me the wrong way whether someone *means* it to or not.

Plus, now that I'm thinking about it, it's not like someone can call a childless person "barren" or....something.

[Gormy Cuss]

165. Well,.

For a while there was DINKs (double income, no kids) but that applied to couples only.

Other than that it's pretty much generic terms like "selfish" that are used to label the childless.

[tjdee]

172. Aha! That's what a DINK is!

Never heard that before in my life.

Thanks for the explanation.

[Finder]

175. I remember that term from iVillage years ago...

they had a forum for DINKS but single men kept joining...

[Gormy Cuss]

178. well, maybe the single guys were thinking of

the not-an-acronym slang term 'dink.'
If the shoe fits....

[Greyhound]

166. Spoken like a parent. Believe me when I tell you that Society has...

reserved an entire list of 'code' words and terms that carry derogatory connotations for the child-free population, many more for women than men, of course, but they are there. Childless, single, DINKS, not to mention the condescending look that women give child-free women, the completely unfair tax schedule, the discrimination in the workplace, etc.

[tjdee]

171. Childless and single are code words?

I've never heard DINK either. Didn't invite no kids? Dumb idiot nasty kids?

(on edit: I just found out what it was from Gormy Cuss)

And I have never, EVER seen those terms at DU, while I see breeder every now and again.

I'm aware of the tax differences, etc. but even as a single, childless woman I didn't feel condescended toward except by women who obviously had a creator complex. I obviously won't know what it's like to be of 'child bearing years' (thirties,etc.) and be childless, so that may be true. I'm still single, that's another topic for another day LOL.

[Greyhound]

173. As a man I've only seen this done to my girlfriends, but it is done,

regularly. Obviously it's not the word so much as the connotation and the there's something wrong with you cause you don't have kids 'look'.

In all my years I've only met two women out in the world that were congratulatory toward my girlfriends decision to not procreate.

Double Income No Kids

[Blue-Jay]

160. Perhaps. If you're easily offended.

It doesn't bother me. I was called "Jay the Breeder" by one of my college friends for years. I referred to him as "Queen Tom". If the term is used in a manner that is meant to be offensive, it's the user's problem, not mine.

[SmokingJacket]

161. Well, it's meant to insult. So, yeah, it's hateful on that level.

But I have kids and I could not care less what anyone thinks about it, so I'm not about to get bent out of shape about the term.

I wouldn't call people without children names....

[Burma Jones]

162. I used to work in theatre, and in that context, Breeders was

definitely a hateful term, delivered with a sneer, used by Gays, Straights and fence-straddlers, all us Bohemians. Basically, it reflected the fact that once you've had kids, performing revolutionary theatre in front of 7 people a night is no longer on the schedule.....

[redqueen]

168. hahahah

Thanks...

[donheld]

170. It can really go either way

I don't think if i call a straight person a "breeder" it should be taken as hateful. It can be used that way but shouldn't automatically be considered that at all. I can call you a straight person with plenty of hate too.

[Neshanic]

177. Yes it is, and gay people should STFU saying it.

It's very nasty.

[StopTheMorans]

181. i'm straight, and i say it

way to generalize, tho

[sleipnir]

183. Queer or Breeder? (in reference to a Bar) That's what my friend asks.

I find it slightly amusing in that way. To determine the clientele and atmosphere of a bar, I'm fine with the term. Actually, I don't really care and a lot of people are getting their knickers in a twist over this one. But, to each his/her own.

[NMMNG]

184. I think it is offensive

I've never heard/seen it used in a non-derogatory manner.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

185. condescending but not hateful