Ever say something and immediately realize it was horribly inappropriate?

[progmom]

Like say...standing in line at the cafeteria with your VP and mentioning blood? Yeah...not so brilliant.

I do this kind of shit all the time.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. I hate it when that happens

As a budding lawyer, I really should measure my words carefully...but sometimes stupid stuff just can't help but spew forth!

[Rising Phoenix]

2. I do too

My brain does not know when not to be sarcastic and not to shut up until its to late.

[MuseRider]

3. Me too.

Makes you wonder sometimes doesn't it?

[rfranklin]

4. Your VP is squeamish?

What kind of business are you in?

[progmom]

5. it was the context...we were all standing there holding our food

...waiting to pay.

[intheflow]

6. OMG! I was just flashing back to one of these incidents yesterday!

Happened... gosh, must be 15 years ago & I'm still torturing myself over it.

It was Thanksgiving at my then-fiance's parents' house. Many family and friends, including a priest, were there. I don't know who said what that precipitated my reply, but my (I thought witty) reply was this: "What am I, sloppy seconds?"

It was one of those eerie moments when my reply fell into a discussion lull, so it sounded twice as loud and was heard by all. A stony silence follwed for what must have been only a few seconds but felt like years.

[Dora]

15. I'm laughing.

But I know just how you feel.

Stony silence - I hate that sound.

[Darkseid69]

7. Oh yea everyday

Worst one was when I accidently called out my ex-wife's name during sex with the current one.

Someday she'll forgive me for that.

[mark11727]

20. Ouch.

That's why I call everyone "Honey!"

[RethugAssKicker]

33. No she won't

If I know anything about women.... This is one where she won't forget!!! Have mercy on your soul!

[ceile]

70. Yep, done that.

The look on his face....not something I'll ever live down.

[ewagner]

8. It has happened

where my mouth was engaged before my brain was in gear.....

[Cathyclysmic]

9. me too

I have Robin Williams syndrome...were what I'm thinking is really witty, but it comes out as a non sequitur.

[progmom]

11. hey Cath!!!!!

welcome back, under your new name!

[Kilroy003]

10. I once said offhandedly to a coworker that had just been

run over by a truck, "Wow, you look like shit!"

It was meant to be disarming but it came off rather crass.

[redqueen]

12. Yep... fairly often.

People have come to expect it...

[stellanoir]

13. Totally sleep deprived from an all night gig last year,

my son and I were at a mall. The mall has tile floors. Walking about 10-15 feet in front of us was a mom and a maybe 2 & 1/2 year old girl. Little girl was carrying one off those rubbery/plastic dolls that was nearly 1/2 of the girl's size. Little girl dropped the doll. I heard a "splat" and empathetically said immediately.

"Ohhhhhh. . .baby goes splat."

My son couldn't believe I said that and made merciless fun of me for saying it.

To this day, whenever I goof up he'll say, "Mommie goes splat."

[progmom]

18. splat!

[Dora]

14. All the time.

I take after my mother like that.

Most embarassing and inappropriate: Last year husband and I were socializing at a friend's house, and his quite-recently widowed father was visiting at the time. Husband and friend are both musicians, we're all talking music, bands, issues of aging as a musician... Thoughtlessly I mention the band, "One Foot in the Grave."

Oh, and I once told a complete stranger to "shut up." I actually lost sleep over that. She didn't deserve it, as shrieky and annoying as she seemed to me, she didn't deserve it.

[NewJeffCT]

16. "I have trouble keeping it up"

Back in the early 90s, I was having problems with my PC at work, something was happening where I'd open up an application & then it would immediately crash (or something like that...) So, I went over to the attractive young woman that was our area's I/T person and said, "I have trouble keeping it up!"

open mouth, insert foot.

I could feel my face turning red, as back then I was terribly shy around women.

She laughed it off.

[progmom]

17. ha!

[Coventina]

19. Coworker: Wow! I seem to keep running into you today!

Me: Yeah...it's been a really bad day.

[progmom]

21. HA. ha ha ha ha ha.

[Jara sang]

22. You were at a cafeteria with Cheney?

Sounds like you two are real chummy. FREEPER!!!

[progmom]

24. yes. and i love torture,

[Jara sang]

25. Are you chummy with Rummy?

[progmom]

26. stop being such a DUmmy.

[Jara sang]

31. But I've got an aching in my tummy

[auntAgonist]

23. Just this week

I saw a co-worker in the hallway, she's transferred to a different department and I don't see her often. I asked her how she was feeling, "not too bad" says she.
I say, "you're due pretty soon aren't you? I'm sure you're excited!!!"

"I lost the baby at 6 months" says she ...


I wished the floor would open and swallow me up ..
I felt absolutely HORRIBLE! I had no idea.



She seemed ok, and not at all hurt by my lack of knowledge, but geez ..
I wished I would have known!

[progmom]

27. oh - that's rough

sorry....

[Obamarama]

66. The SAME thing happened to my sister after she miscarried....

She had taken a two weeks off after losing her baby at 6 months. A co-worker of hers had no idea and was talking to my sister about how excited she and my b-i-l must be, did they know the sex, etc....

My sister understood and didn't get upset with the coworker, but the coworker was absolutely mortified when my sister explained what happened.

A few days later, my sister got a beautiful card and small flower arrangement from the coworker. The coworker didn't bring up the awkward moment, but rather simply offered her condolences and acknowledged their loss. I remember my sister talking about this and said despite how awkward it was when it happened, she said that at least the coworker acknowledged my sister's grief. She said that everyone else in the office just sort of tip-toed around it and went to great measures NOT to talk about it.

Just thought I'd share this story with you. It could help diffuse the awkwardness that was born out of this moment, and also let her know that someone is acknowledging her grief as real.

I'd say don't beat yourself up over it...you had no idea.

[SOteric]

28. Yes, apparently I've got

a real jones for the taste of shoe leather.

[kittenpants]

29. I do that too. And it's hard to take those things back or talk your

way out of it, especially if the people you're with have no sense of humor Don't worry, we're just "interesting."

[progmom]

30. there is no edit button in real life

[Gemini Cat]

32. Yes, all the time.

When I do that I've learned to quickly back the offending statement up with "I know how that sounded, I don't communicate well so let me explain myself better." Then I go off on some sort of confusing tangent which not only gets me off the hook, but the person is merely confused, not insulted. It works and I don't get my ass kicked.

[LynneSin]

34. You know I heard Progrmon has a raging case of cooties

[LynneSin]

35. wait, was that considered approporiate or not?

[progmom]

39. inaccurate

but not terrifically inappropriate.

[leftofthedial]

36. I was commiserating with a friend after the recent death of her father

she was lamenting the outrageous hospital bills

and I, leftofthedial, king of sensitivity, said . . .

"well, they have to make a killing somehow."

[progmom]

37. no you didn't.....

[leftofthedial]

63. I new as I was saying it that it was just completely WRONG

but I just couldn't stop

[MissB]

41. .

[Zuni]

38. almost every day

[stpalm]

40. At a family gathering I accidentally told a very offensive racial remark.

Okay, here's the story- My dad works in a bank. He was talking about how they get robbed fairly often because it is in a bad neighborhood. He said that one time it was a "black guy with a gun".

Now, I wanted to make fun of my dad's poor description, (I mean, he could have said the guy's name or history or SOMETHING, you see?) it was very broad and ridiculous, so I said, "Oh, that really narrows it down."

The family was shocked and I had to explain. It certainly did not come out the way I meant!

[progmom]

42. oh no!

you poor thing. and yet:

[Shell Beau]

43. Sometimes inappropriateness is in the

eye of the beholder. But I know some people who always stick their foot in their mouth! Thinking outloud.

[kick-ass-bob]

44. Meh - that is nothing.

I had a conversation about maggots while eating, yes, rice - no problem.

Seriously. I did.

[progmom]

45. ugh

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

56. One time, in Band class....

(ChavezSpeakstheTruth is gonna love this one, BTW). It was '87 or '88, either 7th or 8th grade band class. Chavez played the baritone horn (I played trombone). The teacher was having a really hard time controlling the class that day what with all the talking and random blaring of horns, etc. Anyway, just as she finally quiets us all down, Chavez lets out a loud honk from his horn. Then another. The band teacher yells. "Hey, I told you to be quiet!"

Chavez haughtily replies, "I'm trying to fix my horn."

Teacher says, "Fix it later."

Chavez says, "Fix this!"

Beautiful but of course he was quickly kicked out of class for the remark. Okay, now my turn:

I pipe up, supposedly in Chavez defense and in an effort to show how inexperienced the teacher was in such matters, "Aren't you gonna call the office?" Pause. Then the whole class groans. Teacher calls the office to let them know Chavez would be arriving shortly.

Lemme put this in context: I figured our teacher had intended to send Chavez to the principal's office which is what being kicked out of class meant back in the day. However, since the teacher hadn't called the front office to let them know he'd be arriving, Chavez would have gotten off scott free, basically getting a free period in the middle of the day. BUT, since I chimed in to remind the teacher to call it in, genius that I am, Chavez now HAD to go to the office and "face the music" so to speak. In other words: I accidentally turned him in.

Chavez still never lets me live that one down. SORRY, DUDE!!! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!

[kick-ass-bob]

57. I would have kicked your ass the next day.

[neweurope]

46. I'm really talented in this respect. One of the best ones was this:

Friends who just were back from a visit at the husband's mother were explaining about all the trouble they had with their mean and nasty neighbour which was also the mother of their daughter's boyfriend. Then they wanted to show us "the pictures". First picture was of a woman. I blurted "She really does look like a mean bitch!" (And she did.) Unfortunately it was NOT the neighbour, but our friend's mother...

------------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[progmom]

48. hahahahahahahahahahahaha

seriously shaking with laughter here.

[neweurope]

53. I still feel bad about it - how about a kleenex and some

sympathy?!

*g* But when I just re-read my post I had to laugh myself

-----------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[Lilyhoney]

47. I still feel guilty for something I said 5 years ago.

While at my husbands company picknic I was talking to the CEO's wife. We were talking about their daughter's epilepsey. (I have only spoken to her once or twice before as we just came to the company 6 months earlier.) So I say that "I don't know much about epilepsey, but I had a friend who had a dog with it, and they had to put the dog to sleep."

She pretty much just turned around and walked away.

Two years later her 14 year old epileptic daughter drown at the city pool while having a seizure.

Sometimes I just hate myself.

[progmom]

50. oh shit

[Lilyhoney]

55. I know!

The only thing that keeps me from really hating myself about it is that I was at their house a few weeks before she died. Everyone was really happy for Katie because she got straight A's on her report card for the very first time.

I gave her hugs and congratulated her for her good work. She was so proud.

Thanks for the hug progmom.

[ladeuxiemevoiture]

61. You could not have known!

Don't beat yourself up about it.

I was acquainted with someone whose daughter passed away, and in my discomfort, I said something flippant - he didn't take it personally, but I still felt bad about sounding like it didn't matter because it mattered immensely. Stumbling over words at bad times happens to everyone.

[Lilyhoney]

62. Thanks.

I had been thinking about her because the anniversary of her death was last week.

[GreenPartyVoter]

49. Every other minute

[Misunderestimator]

51. No, but I see that you do it all the time...

So I can at least sympathize what it must feel like

[progmom]

52. why thank you

jackass.

[Misunderestimator]

54. You're welcome...

breeder.

[progmom]

58. whatever....

hawk demonizer...

[Misunderestimator]

59. Indeed...

softball klutz who bleeds all over home base...

[LastKnight]

60. like making sex jokes at work

...



...




...




...




...



...



...




...





...with customers.

[Obamarama]

64. A former boss kept his wife's old college graduation photo on his desk

It was probably a good 15 to 20 years old. Even though the photo was very dated looking, his wife looked like she was quite a catch back in her college days. Lets just say that time had not been good to her.

Anyway, I was about 5 months into my job (this was in my freshman year of college and I was working at a grocery store) and the assistant manager asked me to run some paperwork back to the owner, who was in his office. It was my first time being in his office and it was then I noticed the picture.

I handed off said paperwork, engaged in casual chit-chat with him and then said "Who's that in the picture?"

"That's Ellen, my wife, when she graduated from college."

"Wow," I said. "She used to be really pretty."

I immediately realized what I said and without missing a beat just acted like I never said it and said something like "Well, it's pretty busy up front, I'd better get back up there."

He never said anything to me about it and he never treated me any different as an employee.

[Karmageddon]

65. I've actually gotten it halfway out, stopped, and then thought WTF...

...and finished saying it anyway.

More than once.

People who know me know that I'm mostly harmless, and if nothing else, good for a laugh.

(don't know if they're laughing with me or at me, and frankly, I don't give a rat's ass anymore).

[Kathy in Cambridge]

67. I bet I do it more than you

[Parche]

68. say

We had a bald repairman come into our office to do an
emergency repair on our equipment
and i shouted out "We are glad you are hair....er I mean here"

[progmom]

71. oh no!

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

69. No, not at all

[progmom]

72. ahem

many of the 80 family members got on their knees and prayed







just want to see if it makes your head explode.

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

76. aaaaah!

[WCGreen]

73. Never

[Cerridwen]

74. Frequently.

I used to have "foot in mouth disease" so bad I was afraid of getting "athlete's mouth."

I'm doing much better these days.

[eissa]

75. Here's a few

Walked into a home to meet some friends. Everyone is sitting around rather quiet and demure -- very uncharacteristic of this group. I look around and blurt, "what's with you guys?! who died?!" totally forgetting that beloved grandma had just passed away. I tried to apologize to the mom, who replied (translating roughly from Assyrian), "it's okay -- you're young and don't know what you're saying yet."

Saw an old acquaintance at the salon. Knew she was pregnant, so asked how much longer till she was due. Reply: I had the baby 3 months ago. Oooppssss!!!!

Talking to a couple who are family friends. They were visiting from England. The father was telling my of his eldest son and what a great guy he is and mentioned that he was very good looking. I replied, "well of course, you're his father!" I meant that, well of course you would say that, he's your son, but it came out as if I was trying to pick up on old dad. My parents were mortified!

[Roon]

77. My step-brother lost a baby to SIDS..

and I approached his grieving wife at the funeral. Out of pure habit I said, "How's it going?" I am cringing as I type this...

[XemaSab]

78. Like yesterday when I was on the phone with a client

and he started asking tough questions and I said "I'm going to let Adam deal with this" and transferred the client over?

[eissa]

79. I forgot the best one!

Should have included it in my post above...it's a classic!

I was a naive 16-year old working at our local pharmacy. This guy walks in and asks me, very discreetly, if we have any crab shampoo. Now I thought this guy had a pet crab at home and wanted to take him a bath or something. So I yell across the store to our manager, "HEY BRENDA!! DO WE HAVE ANY CRAB SHAMPOO?!" The guy has a look of utter horror on his face. One of my co-workers grabs me and says, "Do you know what crabs are?!" I'm like, "Duh! They're those little crustaceans you find in the ocean!" "No, you idiot!!!" And that's how I discovered what crabs were.

[alarimer]

80. I was working with a guy who had lost his leg

I think maybe to cancer but I am not sure. We were out one day and for some reason I pointed out a seagull that had only one leg. I don't know what possessed me; I am still embarrassed about it, though I left that job years ago.