GF's Mad At Me

[Hosnon]

I managed to piss off my girlfriend last night and I'm quite sure that I'm being ignored this morning.

She mentioned yesterday (pre-blowout) that she needed an oil change.

Nice gesture/start to change it for her? Also, what else should I do?

Fight Scale (1-10) - 7.

[RubyDuby in GA]

1. That's a good start.

Also, give her some space. I know when I have a blowout with someone, I just want to go to my own corner and cool down.

[Hosnon]

4. Thanks - Good idea. nt

[matcom]

2. new washing machine

works every time :D

[Hosnon]

5. Haha, I can't afford that:) nt

[Richardo]

6. Start with $1 for a Clark bar

...or sumptin' :rofl:

[matcom]

19. like that did you?

:D

[kick-ass-bob]

3. You didn't tell her she was fat, did you?

:yoiks:

[Hosnon]

7. Oh hell no - would never do that...plus she's not fat - Were you

just lookin' for an excuse to use the new yoinks?

[Shell Beau]

10. You missed a funny thread yesterday about fat wives I assume!

[Hosnon]

12. Hmmm...guess so - Odd because I stared at the monitor all day:)

[Shell Beau]

13. That is odd b/c we made a huge deal

of it yesterday here in the lounge.

[Hosnon]

16. Ah...I'm not a lounge lizard - usually don't check it as much as I

do LBN, GD, and GD:P.

[Shell Beau]

20. That explains it!

:hi:

[matcom]

9. .

[GiovanniC]

8. Depends on What the Fight Was About

I withhold judgement until that detail is revealed.

[Hosnon]

11. ugh...didn't wanna go here but what they hey:

I mentioned in conversation that I'm not sure if I believe in love - the fairy tale type.

So then she wants to know what she is doing in this relationship - and fight ensues...

Yes, yes, I'll gladly accept the dumbass award for DU today - but it was really just said in passing and not meant to be taken as a doctrine that I base my life on.

[Spinzonner]

14. The question is now

What are YOU doing in this relationship.

Which she is also asking herself and perhaps not liking the answers.

[Hosnon]

17. Ah I see...I didn't think of that.

OH crap - I'm beginning to see that I really messed up. *^$#@ - So what do you recommend?

[cally]

24. Umm..explain that you don't think love

happens all at once like in fairy tales but love occurs through really getting to know someone and sharing like you are doing with her. Or something that is somewhat honest for you. Problem solved.

[Hosnon]

28. Not bad...not bad at all...

I really do like her and I can see it developing into love but I just don't like the fluffy dreamy type of love that doesn't exist (and most people mistake for lust, IMO). I believe in the down to earth, "I just saw her pick her nose and eat it but I still want to kiss her" type.

[Spinzonner]

25. First, figure out what you meant when you said that

And be honest when you discuss it with her.

Don't go into it with the intention of trying to 'fix' it. Let her decide what your answers mean to her and your relationship.

You may at least get credit for emotional honesty and sincerity.

[Hosnon]

29. Yea I think that's what I need to do...it will be a bit difficult

though because it was a fleeting comment - I need a snapshot of my mind at that moment:)

[Mizmoon]

15. Freud says the only true jokes are puns and other language jokes

All else is veiled hostility.

Just something to think about ...

[Hosnon]

18. OK

So that means I was being hostile towards her - any suggestions as to why I would be that way?

[Mizmoon]

26. You'll have to see a therapist for that

I just do the armchair stuff ...

:)

[Richardo]

23. I'm 'afreud' she's right...

:rofl: I crack me up.

[punpirate]

36. Sorry, you're just...

... too Jung to make that assessment.... :P

[GiovanniC]

21. You Shouldn't Have to Feel Bad About Beliefs

Or lack/uncertainty thereof. It sounds like she got mad at you for voicing an opinion. Now you are apologetic about your opinion and want to do nice things for her in response to the argument.

Sometimes it makes sense to try to do nice things and hope that a fight blows over. But be mindful that you don't give in or apologize for all of your beliefs or one day you'll find that that you have given up all of your convictions to a girl who has left to go find a guy who has firmer beliefs.

I guess what I'm saying is, I can see where saying you're not sure about the "fairy tale" kind of love might be upsetting to your partner. But at the same time, that's not really something she should get mad at you about.

[Hosnon]

22. I couldn't agree more - and that is why I wasn't as worried

about it as I am now. I didn't consider the option that was shown me in post #14.

The hearer of something tends to look deeper into it than the speaker...or so it seems to me.

[nini]

27. do you love her?

if not.. or you don't KNOW you do... you should end the relationship.

When you love someone, you know it - you really know it and wouldn't even question it - in other words you wouldn't say you believe in love the way you did. Maybe she's just not the one to spark those emotions in you.


Hope it works out for you.

[Hosnon]

30. No I don't think I love her - and don't think I should end the

relationship because of that.

Based on that idea, only people who fell in love at first sight and knew it would ever stay together.

We haven't been dating the length of time that I would consider a reasonable length to be in love.

[nini]

33. I should have said.. 'do you think you could love her'

not do you at this moment. I misunderstood your situation.

My take on fairy tale love is not the love at first sight type.. It's just that 'feeling' you get. When you have that feeling you will know why some people compare it to something magical.

Hopefully, you will find that one day, be it with her or another.


good luck

[Hosnon]

34. Yes I do

And I think that that feeling you are describing was there.

Thanks for the good wishes:)

[lukasahero]

31. You could always just apologize

No? :shrug:

[Hosnon]

32. I guess - may work:)

[RedCloud]

35. Duplicate thread. We already know about the 25,000 mile oil change.

First, if you have never had a fight before, apologize immediately and take steps not to do it again.

Now if you do fight periodically and she apologizes but you never do, you had better do so.

If only you apologize during arguments, there are many dating services that could help you...