How should you react if a coworker tells you she has Hodgkins disease?

[Taverner]

I have a coworker who I'm pretty good friends with. She's a vivacious, beautiful Canadian ex-pat with whom I've always had a good personal and working relationship with.

She was just diagnosed with Hodgkins disease - luckily in a very early stage. It's pretty treatable, but she will have to go through Chemo. She's a trooper, and seems very upbeat and positive.

Whats the best I can do to support her and give her the encouragement to keep that positive attitude?

I've never really dealt with this kind of thing much in the past....

[demnan]

1. Just offer if she needs anything

Some people are single and may have no family. If she needs someone to take her for treatments you can offer. If she has a supportive family then just keep in touch and be concerned.

[Taverner]

3. She has a supportive boyfriend

But I did extend the offer of "if you need anything"

[stellanoir]

2. If you use the same compliments you put in this post

that's a great start. Offer to support her in any way you can and be funny. Damn it. Laughter is a wondrous elixir for all ills.

[flamingyouth]

4. Be her friend. Let her vent if she feels frustrated.

Maybe offer to pick up some of her duties around the office or donate one or two sick days if she needs it. Sounds like, just from your post, that you will do just fine supporting her.

I have a good friend who has successfully battled this twice, so with good medical care her chances for a full recovery should be good. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

5. Tell her whenever she needs to talk or a shoulder to

cry on, you'll be there. That is all you can do. Maybe help her with her workload when she is down and weak!

[hickman1937]

6. If you really mean it, then every so often repeat your offer of help.

Sometimes people are hesitant to ask.

[Taverner]

7. Ok...that sounds good

Would it be bad to ask how shes *doing*?

[GainesT1958]

10. Not at all...

Periodically, that is. It's important to show concern; even if people may act as though it's excessive to do so, deep down they will still appreciate it. Always make sure she knows if she needs help, it's going to be there.

I've had this same thing happen with co-workers, and making sure that person knows help is there whenever it's needed is one of the MOST important things one can do.

Plus, when she's down, you and your other co-workers may want to help cheer her up; cancer patients have their not-so-good days from depression about their condition as much as from physical sickness from chemo and drug treatments.

B-)

[gmoney]

8. Well, I'd ask her...

And, maybe do what you can at the office to make things easier on her... if she's going to get chemo/radiation, she's probably going to have a hard time keeping up around the office. Some places are understanding, others far less so.

Is she married or living with someone? I mean, in the sense of is there someone who'll help her with the day to day, driving, shopping, etc? That's a big job, but if a few folks from the office can divide it up, it's not a big burden on anyone.

And just be a friend without "hovering" and treat her like you always have, except be a little more considerate.

[undeterred]

9. Its a big deal hearing a diagnosis like that

I worked with a nurse who was diagnosed with hepatitis C. She took a couple of days off when she got the news just to deal with it, not because she was sick. Its not terminal, but its for the rest of your life.

When she came back, she told us about it. The thing is, it changed our work environment, as she had to have various treatments and sometimes she would become ill from those. The rest of us had to cover.

Anyway, just keep the lines of communication open and be supportive and understanding.

[blondeatlast]

11. I'm a hospital patient vet, and it's very simple (I've fortunately never

been in such a grave situation, but I've been bedridden many times).

Offer your hand, your heart, and your ear, especially.

I've never been gravely ill, but have plenty of hospital time behind me, and that's what I want when I'm ill.

If I want something, I'll ask for it from someone who has shown they sincerely want to help.

[amazona]

12. my friend had it, his doctor said it's the best cancer to have

My friend's tumor was inoperable but chemo/radiation got rid of it just fine.

His doctor said, "If you have to have cancer, this is the one to have."


P.S. yes, a LOT of sick/vacation days get used up for the series of chemo and radiation. They took my friend out of his regular rotation at his job and put him on dispatch so he could still work and get some hours. He was able to do some of the dispatch actually from his home. If your friend is paid by the hour, you all may want to chip in and find easier tasks for her to do, so she can keep getting the hours when she's able. If you're all salary, you may still need to cover a little until she's better.

[Allenberg]

13. If she's even remotely a sports fan,

remind her of Mario Lemieux :)

[Taverner]

15. True...

and she is a hockey fan :)

[MuseRider]

14. Just be a good listener.

That is always the best gift for many situations. People who are close to her will listen but at some point they may tune it out, not on purpose, but it does happen. Be there and listen. That the single most valuable thing you can do in many situations. This one especially.

[fairfaxvadem]

16. Lots of encouragement...

The protocol for treating Hodgkins is very well established, and as an earlier poster said, "It's the cancer to have, if you gotta have cancer."

My sister was diagnosed early as well, but this is now close to 15 years ago, when she was told the same thing. She is just fine, and healthy. She didn't have chemo, she had radiation, and her thyroid pooped out, which is typical, so that's the only long-term effect.

Also, curiously, while more men are diagnosed with Hodgins than women, women respond a lot better to the treatment overall, at least that's what my sister was advised.

Good luck to your friend, she will just fine, I'm sure. But, it's got to be tough, no matter what the experts and everyone else says.