So, I went to therapy by myself tonight

[Not_Giving_Up]

The LOC hasn't gone since she looked at him and told him that he needs a job. She asked me if he'd gotten a job yet. I told her that he wasn't even making an effort. She said he needs meds, I said no shit. We talked exit plan for an hour. She agrees that now is not the time, I need a job first. She wanted to make sure I realized that he wasn't putting forth any effort. I told her that I was well aware.

I went to the grocery store on the way home and picked up a couple of TV dinners for tonight. He asked me to make his for him, while he played video games. I threw it in the microwave, then our son called from my parents. I was talking to my stepdad when the food was done. I don't have a cordless phone, so I motioned for the LOC to get his own food out of the microwave. He did, sat down on the couch with it, then, with food in one hand, tried to operate the remote, but dropped the remote. Yep, his dinner went to the floor. He threw a spoon across the living room and sneered at me asking "Are you off that fucking phone yet?"...I finished my conversation, then went in the bedroom until he was done eating and back to video gaming.

Edited to add: LOC=Lump on Couch, his normal position

[bicentennial_baby]

1. Ugh! He sucks!!

I feel for you honey...can't wait till you are free!

[Not_Giving_Up]

12. Yeah, he does

I need a JOB...DAMMIT!

[AuntieM1957]

49. What kind of work do you do?

Hey, if a job is what you need - tells us what kind you want.

Maybe some of your fellow Texans can help out.

I'm also in Houston - but on the far north side where we can still respirate. Especially after the rain tonight.

You know the HCDP (Harris County Democratic Party) is looking to replace the exec director. I figure if you can put up with LOC, you can do anything.

[Tsiyu]

2. God, marriage can be hell

Sorry about this evening's outburst, but sounds like that therapist has it together and will be a great source of support for you through this.

I will send positive job mojo your way, Baby. You are brave and strong.

Things will get better, I just know it.

[Bouncy Ball]

3. YUCK!

What does LOC stand for, by the way? I get that he's a significant other and/or husband, but I can't figure out LOC.

He sounds.......not so good. I'm so sorry, hon. I hope you can get out and get happy quickly!!!

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. LOC=Lump on couch

His general position is sleeping on the couch for 15 hours a day.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. WHAT?????

Dear God.

Kick the shit out of him.

Just kidding, not advocating violence, but my foot got real itchy just reading that.

[Not_Giving_Up]

19. I've tried it all, nothing works

He's bipolar, but won't take meds. Hey, you're in Texas! Come on over and kick all you want!

[Bouncy Ball]

22. Hey really?

I'm in kind of a bad mood, too!

Just kidding. As I know you were. But wow. **I** got pissed off at him reading this thread.

Bipolar is so hard to deal with. Big hugs to you. I hope you can get out soon. AND I hope he figures out he needs meds soon.

[Not_Giving_Up]

24. Sure!

He won't do meds. Period. I've got to get a job and get out.

[kedrys]

4. Oh boy.

Any way you can hook him up to an IV and force-feed him his meds? I assume wishing he'd croak without actually killing him yourself is going to take too much time...

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. rotflmao

I don't think I have that kind of power. Wish, and it happens! If I did, President Kerry would be in office! No, I can't force meds down him.

[Droopy]

5. Your post totally confused me

Who is LOC?

[progmom]

7. her not so dear husband

[Not_Giving_Up]

10. Ummmm....yeah, that's it!

Also known as Richard Cranium (dickhead). But, don't use big words, that'll make him feel stupid!

[Not_Giving_Up]

9. Sorry

LOC is Lump on Couch

[Droopy]

16. That's alright

Makes much more sense now. I'm glad you are planning an exit strategy. If he's not trying to get a job and is verbally abusive then I'm afraid there's nothing to be salvaged.

[BrklynLiberal]

11. Can you leave and stay with your Mom and Stepdad?

[Not_Giving_Up]

14. Sure, if I want to put my children in a situation that will scar them

psychologically worse than he does. They're OK to visit...NOT to live with. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.

[progmom]

13. you'll find a good job

and then you need to get out.
you need to get out.

[Not_Giving_Up]

15. I know

You know I know. The therapist knows that I know. He just doesn't know that I know.

[Not_Giving_Up]

18. Geez! Now he's

cussing at the PS2 because he can't win this race. May I vomit now? (I sure feel the need to!)

[Bouncy Ball]

20. You have a son with him, right?

Is that the only child?

Yeah, girl, plan a serious exit strategy. If you've tried counseling and he needs meds but won't take them, won't hold down a job and is verbally abusive, you need out, SOON.

[Not_Giving_Up]

21. Two kiddos

Son, eleven, daughter, nine. Yeah, I know.

[Bouncy Ball]

23. My daughter is ten.

Do you live in the Dallas area, by any chance?

[Not_Giving_Up]

25. Nope...Outside of Houston

You know, where you can't breathe!

[EC]

26. I figured you would have to leave eventually...

that is why I didn't really think it a good idea to take that trailor park job...get a job and leave.

[Not_Giving_Up]

27. Me too

He brought back apps after dropping off the resumes. I never filled one out, neither did he. he said "So, you don't really want to that?" I said no, end of discussion.

[catbert836]

28. I'm terribly sorry.

No one should have to go through this- not you, not your son, not anyone. I know because I'm going through something similar right now (although I'm in the position of your son). Just whatever you do, make sure your son and daughter have readily available contact to both you and your husband, whenever they need it. You and your family have all the good vibes I can give out.

[Not_Giving_Up]

29. Well, when we've split up in the past

The trend was to have no contact for weeks, then suddenly reappear, acting all dad-like.

[catbert836]

30. That's sick.

I know that at least in my situatoion, my dad disappeared only when I was away- and he came back before I left. But they told me what had happened. My parents tried therapy for a long time, but eventually my mom moved out instead. Now I'm caught in the middle (dual custody, but living with my dad.) that's no way to behave, just to walk out and then show up like nothing had happened. Very immature. I think you're doing the right thing. Best of luck--

[Not_Giving_Up]

31. We haven't split up in over 3 years now

maybe this will be different, when it happens. I doubt it though. You'll get through OK, just remember to breathe.

[catbert836]

32. I will remember

Thanks a lot, and once again, best wishes.

[Not_Giving_Up]

33. Thanks

My dad left when I was two, never to be seen again. Be glad you get to see both of your parents regularly.

[catbert836]

34. That sucks!

What a life you have. I will remember you everyday in my prayers/meditations.

[Not_Giving_Up]

35. It's not just a life, it's an adventure!

Oh, and the pay is crappy!

[catbert836]

42. Life sucks, and then you reincarnate.

from Dilbert.

[Not_Giving_Up]

43. lol

That's pretty good.

[KaliTracy]

36. I'm so glad you are getting support/help/strategy. My dad was

bipolar and living with him was a complete nightmare. Please take care of yourself....and protect your kids. I hope a job/escape opens for you soon. *hugs*

[Not_Giving_Up]

38. We're lucky here

He sleeps damn near round the clock when he's down, which is much more common.

[BiggJawn]

37. What would happen if something "went wrong" with his precious...

...Nintendo?

[Not_Giving_Up]

39. Without the PS2, he's climbing the walls

It was in the shop once for warranty work, and I swear, I thought he was missing a child.

[BiggJawn]

46. But not climbing into therapy, huh?

Oh, well...At least YOU'RE doing something...

[WCGreen]

40. I noticed your post last night....

I feel for you...

I know a lot of people who are in your situation, a bad marriage being made worse by economic pressure....

It's time to remind you that life is short.....

Somethimes you have to do what is best for you and those you truly love....

I am glad my folks split when I was growing up (way back in the sixties), the weight of their problems effected me greatly....

Do what you think is right for you...

Do it now....

[Not_Giving_Up]

41. I can't do it without a job

He's not working either, and even if he was child support would be nonexistant.

[WCGreen]

44. I know, but what about moving in with your parents for

a while. Didn't you mention that they had one of your children?

[Not_Giving_Up]

45. My son is visiting there until tomorrow

My daughter is at my mnother in law's for the week. My mother is not a stable person. She's ok for short visits, that's it.

[Maddy McCall]

47. Get out. Get assistance from Section 8, Food Stamps, TANF.

Get away from this lout before you have zero self-esteem. You do not need to wait to find a job. You can look for a job while you get assistance. Your children don't deserve this. You don't deserve this.

Is there or has there been physical violence? He reminds me so much of my ex, and there was physical violence.

Why is now not the time?

[tibbir]

48. Best wishes as you work through this.

I'm bipolar myself and in the past I would get enough out of my meds that I wouldn't be able to see that I needed them. It makes things very difficult on the people around you, as you well know.

What part of Houston do you live in? I'm near the Galleria. I'm disabled so I don't work but it seems to me that Houston's job market is the pitts right now. I hope something comes through for you soon so that you can get a liveable salary.

In the meantime, just keep seeing your therapist and give your kids all the support you can. They need you now.

[LiberallyInclined]

50. what was LOC's job before?

and how long has he gone without?

[faithnotgreed]

51. im so sorry ngu - we sure hold you and your family up tonight

and praying things will work out as they need to
things do have a way of working out as they should (and not always as we think they should)

take good care and im glad you have a therapist - and that youre able to go see her
hugs for you and your family

[Whoa_Nelly]

52. Pack up and leave tonight

before it's your head he throws at the wall. You, your safety and actually getting to be around for your kid comes first. Run, do not walk. Have been there, and with a child, too. Don't wait...take care of yourself first. Your safety is your son's future.

Peace,
and mega

Whoa_Nelly