Borowitz: Paula Abdul Emerges as Favorite for Supreme Court

[spooky3]

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

Supreme Court-watchers were stunned today to learn that President Bush’s shortlist of candidates to replace retiring Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor includes the pop star and “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul.

At a White House press briefing, spokesman Scott McClellan confirmed that Ms. Abdul had in fact emerged as a favorite to fill Justice O’Connor’s slot: “I think Paula Abdul’s abilities as a judge, which millions of Americans have had an opportunity to witness week in, week out, speak for themselves.”

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Professor Crenelle warns, however, that Ms. Abdul may have to “clean up her act” if she is to don the robe of a Supreme Court Justice: “It wouldn’t look right if, during their deliberations, she started kissing on Justice Scalia.”

At the White House, spokesman McClellan said that “the American people would be asked to make the ultimate decision about Ms. Abdul,” and then offered a toll-free telephone number.