It's time for another round of "Ask Sarah's Advice, Opinions, & Whatnot".

[SarahB]

I'm sitting around in my marabou slippers eating bonbons and I figured it was was time to finally answer those questions that have been on your mind.

[xmas74]

1. My favorite question:

How do I meet hot liberal men when I live in a red county and a red state?

[SarahB]

3. Move to a blue state.

Or go in your state forum on DU, plan a get-together, and be charming and cute.

[xmas74]

5. I knew that was the answer!

Can't move, stuck here because of visitation.
Otherwise, we would be long gone.

[SarahB]

7. Try the second option by itself.

Isn't there a Democratic Singles site too? Maybe someone has a link.

Good luck in your quest.

[xmas74]

Thank you!

I'll think about that instead.
I've never tried them. I've tried the other dating sites-conservatives seem to answer my ads so I gave up.

[Beware the Beast Man]

2. How can I make the next 18 minutes go by faster?

[SarahB]

4. Porn!

[Beware the Beast Man]

6. Damn, but I'm at work!

[SarahB]

8. Doodle naked women on notebook paper then.

[Zomby Woof]

9. Am I pregnant?

Or is just hormones?

[SarahB]

11. It's PMS, sweetie.

Have some chocolate, call Nini, and all will be well again.

[Zomby Woof]

15. Gee, Sarah! You're right! THANKS!

[progmom]

10. what should i make for dinner?

[SarahB]

14. Pasta Salad with fresh veggies.

Some tomatoes, black olives, green peppers, mozzarella chunks, and a little olive oil with red wine vinegar.

Not what I'm making, but I'm craving it nonetheless.

[GOPisEvil]

12. Should I go out and see a band tonight or stay home like a slug?

[SarahB]

19. Go out and smell really good.

Ask for phone numbers and commit to buying two drinks for at least one woman (maybe two).

[GOPisEvil]

21. OK.

I can commit to going out...and I can commit to smelling nice...we'll see about the rest.

[underpants]

13. What's a Whatnot?

[SarahB]

20. Stuff.

[tjdee]

16. How do I have a long term relationship when I despise dating?

For some time now I've thought that I am destined to marry one of the guys I already know. I started to doubt myself, LOL, because they're all starting to marry other people!

I don't like the process of getting to know someone from scratch. I suspect at the root of it is a fear of rejection and wasting my time. The guys I know are aware I have a kid, they like her, they like me, they've met my family, etc. etc.

There is the irritating detail that I'm not romantically interested in any of them right now, LOL! Well no, actually one of them I kind of could be...maybe...this is so long winded, I'll stop now!

[SarahB]

22. Completely be yourself.

Someone may find it charming. Most guys think I'm cute, but when they get to know me, find me a little weird, overwhelming, or something. Not always though and in that case, it's pretty nice.
The kid issue really, really made me nervous about being single again, but some men are more family oriented (some men actually have kids too). Make sure they know you don't think it's their job to support or raise your children, but that your child is part of your life and they have to take that into account.

It's all scary, but the alternative of shutting everything off and not trying is well, not living either. When you're ready for something more, the universe has a way of giving you what you need. BEst wishes.

[Jara sang]

17. Do you believe in extraterrestrials? n/t

[SarahB]

24. I doubt we're the only...

semi-intelligent life in the universe, but whether they've visited Earth or not, I doubt, but I really don't know. Not an issue I worry about most of the time.

[JimmyJazz]

18. Questions, my ass! You'd better share the damned bon-bons!

[SarahB]

27. They're those frozen kind with cheesecake.

Actually, I wish. I have to keep up my image though as the seductive lounge vixen and I thought this made a good picture.

[leftofthedial]

23. what should I do?

What?

[SarahB]

28. Follow your heart.

Work out all that logic stuff the best you can, but follow what your gut is telling you.

[leftofthedial]

35. I'll do it! Thanks!

My gut is telling me to start doing situps again!

[kmla]

25. I lost a watch in 4th grade. It was nifty.

Had a gray plastic wristband. I though it was cool.

Have you seen it, or do you know where it is?

[SarahB]

30. It's in the dump from your childhood hometown.

Under decomposed banana peels and un-decomposed disposable diapers. Sorry about that man.

[kmla]

26. Oops. I double posted.

I thought only nitwits did that.

Am I a nitwit?

[SarahB]

31. Nope.

I do it too. Wait, am I a nitwit? (I know some people want to say "yes", but I don't care. I'm happy. )

[snickersnee]

29. if time goes slower the faster you move

does this mean that light experiences no duration of time? if something exists for zero amount of time, isn't that the same as not existing at all? does this mean that light only exists for observers, but not from it's own perspective?

seriously, this has been killing me. thanks in advance.

[SarahB]

33. It means that if I went to the next solar system at the speed of light...

I'd come back still looking cute and all you guys would have a lot more wrinkles.

[snickersnee]

38. i think that's called a "tesseract"

...cause it would lead to a wrinkle in time.

oh i loved aunt beast.

[SarahB]

40. My favorite childhood book!

[matcom]

32. does the wallet in my back pocket make my ass look fat?

[SarahB]

34. Nope.

Your ass is a good one. I have thoroughly enjoyed spanking it on a number of occasions by the way.

[Zomby Woof]

36. But strangely

It makes MY ass look fat!

[matcom]

37. well, THERE you go!

[SarahB]

39. I've never seen your ass, Zomby.

Have I mentioned that Mr. Finnfan has a nice ass? Just in case anyone needs to know, he's got a cute little bootie.

[Zomby Woof]

41. Oh yeah???

Well, um... *pours sap on matcom's ass*

[Pale Blue Dot]

43. ...

[SarahB]

54. You are my cabana boy, senor!

And I'm a little stiff right now.

[Pale Blue Dot]

62. YOU WON THE LOTTERY???!!

I'll call my boss today and tell him I quit. And I'll make sure I do in in as insulting and irreversible a way as possible.

Wait - does this make me a "kept man"? On second thought, !



Check your PMs for what I didn't say here....

[SarahB]

65. Yes, I won the lottery.

The day I decided to allow you further into my life. You can be my "kept man" anytime. (Better still be nice to your boss though. )

[Pale Blue Dot]

72. Aw, jeez.

And the melting continues. How did I get so lucky? Now I can't wipe the smile off of my face again.

[Pale Blue Dot]

42. Dear Sarah,

There's this girl I like, and I think she might like me, too. I've sent her flowers, talked to her on the phone, left her interesting messages, and even met her face to face. My question is this: What should I do next to drive her absolutely insane for me?

[SarahB]

44. I'll tell ya later.

[gmoney]

48. Yes Sarah, do tell...

Inquiring busybodies want to know!

Operation OutSap continues

[SarahB]

49. Well, he knows.

And we're not telling you folks everything.

[Redstone]

45. How high is up?

Redstone

[SarahB]

50. For me, anything over 64 & 1/2 inches.

[Guaranteed]

46. Alright, here goes- you better be good!

I'm thinking about quitting smoking.

But I think that if I quit smoking, it's going to seriously affect my mental health. And I'm just starting out my career, in an office. Office behavior is very important when it comes to references and whatnot. I have a lot of experience with quitting before, and I know what it does to me. I can't handle stress nearly as well.

This is very important to my girlfriend. I'm being entirely- I mean entirely- truthful with her about it with my quitting/starting, all that crap, and she's going through it all with me. She's stressing about it too.

I've been using patches. Chemically, they're EXTREMELY effective, but the habit remains. I think smoking is more of a meditation for me than the chemical issue, even.

So....uhh...what should I do?

[SarahB]

51. You can't do it FOR anyone.

You have to be ready for yourself. You're sick of coughing, getting sick more easily, and spending way too much money for example. If you quit FOR someone, it'll end up as a resentment. She knew going into this thing that you were a smoker, right? You SHOULD quit for your health, but make sure you want to yourself first and foremost or it won't work. Best wishes, my friend.

[HuckleB]

47. When will this job allow me to go home tonight?

[SarahB]

52. I'd bet you're already there, right?

[HuckleB]

59. Why, yes, I am.

Left work at 8:32 pm, Oregon time. Oh, and my wonderful wife had a dirty martini ready and waiting for me. Does life get any better than that?

Damn.

Salud!

[WhollyHeretic]

53. What should I read next?

I'm really having some trouble finding a new author I like.

[SarahB]

55. I'm more of a non-fiction person.

I'm finally reading Bill Clinton's biography from last year.

[WhollyHeretic]

56. I'm reading a few non-fiction books right now

I need to add in a little fiction to unwind though. I would like to read Clinton's biography one of these days, I read some excerpts from the book and liked them, how is it so far?

[SarahB]

57. Good.

Interesting dude obviously.

[Omphaloskepsis]

58. Should I worry about mixing bed wetting and powered blankets?

[SarahB]

60. Sounds like the recipe for icky, pasty goo.

Freaky deaky, man!

[Omphaloskepsis]

61. It was a joke...

I'm drunk..

[Mutley]

63. Why am I so sleepy when I got 8 hours of sleep and woke up

naturally at 7ish?

[SarahB]

64. You could have sleep apnea.

A sleep disorder characterized by brief periods during the night of 15-20 second lags in breathing causing you to awake (without remembering) making you feel tired all day.

Or you could just need an extra hour. Feel better.

[Mutley]

70. AHH sleep apnea!

NOOOOOOO! Lol... I had coffee and it's a little better now. Thanks!

[GOPisEvil]

66. Well, I did go out last night.

I had fun. I smelled nice. I went with my friend whose wife is going to deliver their first child soon. Sadly the majority of women there were with guys (at least the ones I found attractive), so no drink-buying, except for beers for me.

[SarahB]

67. You're a good egg, sweetie.

Your time will come.

[GOPisEvil]

69. My irrational fear is that it has, and I didn't realize it.

But whatever, life is still pretty good overall. If my times comes or if it doesn't I'll live.

Thanks for the compliment.

[Darth_Kitten]

68. What should I do today?

I don't know, where should I hang out?

[SarahB]

71. You could go see fireworks.

I guess I'm going to be doing that later. If I didn't have the kids with me tonight, I'd be in the mood to go listen to some jazz and drink good coffee.