Liberal Redneck/Hick Rant

[DrGonzoLives]

OK...I admit. I'm a Redneck. A liberal Redneck. A Liberal Democrat Redneck.

I drive a Honda, but I'd rather be driving a '68 Dodge Charger, or a Camaro SS 454 that gets shit miles per gallon? Why? Because.

I like Budweiser and Miller. They're cheap. You can float a keg for $50. You can grab a pitcher with your buddies at the bar for $3 and get wasted fast and cheap. Good beer is great with meals and special occassions. Not when you just want to goof around and get drunk.

I won't drink wine. Wine is shit. I'd rather get a bottle of good beer.

Television is for sports, and the occassional show on History Channel or something similar. Otherwise, it's on for backround noise. Reality shows are full of jackasses, but they can be compelling to watch. It's like a big car wreck. You're fascinated.

I prefer rock to just about everything else, and I particularly like southern rock. The local classic rock station is preset number one. Pop music is for when the girlfirend is sick of Lynyrd Skynyrd and Led Zeppelin.

I live in a semi-rural area and love it. I like affordable housing, less traffic, low pollution and wide open spaces. I can't for the life of me figure out why people keep building their houses where there are mudslides, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods, but whatever.

I don't have a problem with guns, have even shot a few in my life. I go to Hooter's to ogle the waitresses. Yeah, that's right; but at least I tip well. Speaking of which, people who don't tip well are pricks.

Yes, I have an accent. Most Americans do. Your New York accent sounds like balloons rubbing together. Don't knock mine, I won't knock yours.

I have a Master's degree. The fact that I voted for Kerry means I'm a Democrat, nothing more. Politics does not define my life.

And I admit it - I'm a Liberal Redneck. Hear me peal my tires. Yee haw!

Is this satire, or did I mean it? You decide

EDIT: to include more inflammatory material

[XanaDUer]

1. There is something attractive about the liberal redneck

I must say.

[Taverner]

2. Awesome :)

And I would drive a Classic era Stang if I could

[JohnnyBoots]

3. $3 pitchers, lucky man indeed.

[jobycom]

4. LOL Damn straight!!

Except the beer--I hate cheap beer.

And for the record, hurricanes ONLY hit places with rednecks.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

5. You Indianans really need to get out more

A 68 Charger is shit..now a '71 with a hemi-cam and you just might enroll this city slicker in engaging in your beer drinking, pool shooting, navel lint picking, pathetic red neck, in-bred existence.

Oh...and on Southern Rock..Atlanta Rhythm Section could kick ass on anyone in your library of worn out dragging 8 tracks..

Oh..and Bud sucks

[DrGonzoLives]

12. HOOSIERS FOR CHRIST'S SAKE

*ahem* Anyway....

We can agree that a '72 Stingray convertible is the shit, yes?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

15. It was a joke dammit...remember THAT thread?

And yeah...72 was the last good year all the way up until '02 IMHO

[DrGonzoLives]

16. Yes, I know

I was overreacting on purpose. I just want to fit in at DU again.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

17. *whew*

I thought the ghoulies got to you too!..nice job blending...fooled me

[Moochy]

6. You hick!! jk

"Who Amongst us doesnt like Hooters?"



We really do need to pay attention to the Hooters Dads, and craft a message to get their vote in 2006.

[Shell Beau]

7. I think you meant it and I don't think that makes you

a redneck at all!!!

[crispini]

8. Go, Liberal Redneck, go!

Awright!

[Deep13]

9. 1970 Road Runner

There is no substitute. That's why I do not try and drive a Jetta instead.

I grew up in town & country New England. Most of my friends had rifles as teenage-ahs. I went hiking in the woods without worrying about tresspassing. I pahked my old cah on the street. I did shit in high school ('81-86) that would have gotten me arrested or sent to a school shrink (if we had one) today. We had 104 in our class with 96 graduating. Can't say I'm a Redneck per se as I don't like bee-ah or spohts. Anyway, up until very recently, being a sports fan in MA was a bit of a masocistic experience. Still, I know what you mean. Most people around here (N.E. Ohio) think I talk funny. That's wicked bizzah. Being from New England, I hafta say TVs are for PBS and DVD movies. (A lot of those PBS shows are made in Boston).

Hooters? Christ, Tiffany's has cheap lunch and naked dancers. Why screw around with Hooters?

I assumed you were not kidding since I am pretty much in the same boat, except from the other compass direction.

[DrGonzoLives]

14. I can dig the Mopar action

My dad was always partial to the 1971 Super Bee.

[Deep13]

20. ... ah, with the big tail fin...

... and the triple carburator. I seem to remember that GM also had a triple carb. set-up with three identical 2-bbl units that acted together. The Dodge/Plymouth set was more complicated. It had a small 2-bbl. in the center that acted as a primary with a large 2-bbl at each end as secondaries. All three were Hollies.

[Bluzmann57]

10. Hmmm...that sounds familiar

Me too. Except I don't have a college degree due to bad choices in my misspent youth. Go Liberal redneck go! On behalf of all of us Liberal rednecks. Rather have a '68 Mustang fastback or a '71 or '72 Dodge Challenger though.

[DrGonzoLives]

13. What's with Mustangs around here?

Give me a hemi or a Chevy big block any day.

[Deep13]

19. a rustang?!

[Blue-Jay]

22. My first car was a 72 Challenger.

I miss that car.

*sigh*

[skygazer]

11. Well said

You know, I get rather uncomfortable at times here when people are going on about rednecks or trailer trash or people who don't manicure their lawn or paint their house every six months.

I'm poor. I've always been poor. I grew up poor. That doesn't make me stupid nor does it mean I'm uneducated. But even when a person is uneducated, it doesn't mean they're stupid. I know some old farmers in Vermont who never got past the fifth grade who are pretty damn shrewd.

Just because someone drives a pickup truck doesn't mean they're a Bush supporter. Just because someone likes a certain music or drinks a certain drink, ditto. For a party that espouses a "big tent", some of the members can be pretty exclusionary. That's disturbing and I wish those who make those kinds of generalizations would think about that a little bit.

Yeah, I'm a hick and a democrat. You got a problem with that?

[Deep13]

21. My Grandma lived in a trailer.

She sold her house when she became infirmed because she was a workaholic who would kill herself rather than let the lawn be less than perfect. A trailer was the only way for her to be independant without killing herself.

I echo the big tent remarks.

[48pan]

18. I guess I'm a liberal redneck too.

I want a 41 Willys with a 502 crate motor.