Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

I confess: I AM Tom Cruise!

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:35 PM
Original message
I confess: I AM Tom Cruise!
Discuss. :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
tuvor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:36 PM
Response to Original message
1. You're overrated.
But I liked you in Taps.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Lannes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
2. What was the deal with Cocktail?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
3. What makes the Cruise missle fly?
:shrug: :shrug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
tuvor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:38 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. These days, it's Katie Holmes.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
4. What was the deal with Penelope Cruz?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
6. Does Katie post here too? n/t
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:39 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. It's over with Katie. OK?
:) Hi cs!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #9
15. aloha, valis!
how are things?

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. Not bad... I'm in LA today
:)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. How's the weather?
Work travel? Or recreation of some sorts?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:47 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Work work work... Lousy hotel, did not even peek outside...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #24
26. That's too bad your hotel is lousy
Hopefully your work is going well though
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Done! Back tomorrow morning.
Edited on Thu Jun-02-05 08:49 PM by valis
Just one stupid dinner left...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:49 PM
Response to Reply #28
29. What
kind of work do you do?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #29
32. An actor, of course!
:P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #32
33. ha!
of course, i forgot, sorry, mr cruise.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:54 PM
Response to Reply #33
37. I do miss Nicole. It was a mistake to leave her...
I'm a fucking idiot.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #37
39. shit happens
believe in yourself and good stuff will follow
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #39
40. Yeah.. Hubbard taught me that. I got his book right here on my desk...
You gotta believe!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #40
42. ha
i try not to take my ideology too seriously.

so tom, how does it feel to be you?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. It's strange... It felt grat until i was 30 or so. After that it became
routine. And I'm getting bored with everything. That's why I go "crazy" on shows. I'm trying to feel alive again. I believed it was all Nicole's fault. But now that she is not with me I feel the same as before. So it's something inside me. Therapists are worth shit. And I'm not getting meds, they impair my acting...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:04 PM
Response to Reply #44
45. Hopefully you'll find your way to work through things
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
swag Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
7. I am Damo Suzuki
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
PATRICK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
8. The Anti-Cruise?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
10. Why did you suck so bad in Vanilla Sky, which also sucked?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Swede Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
11. Why do we call Scientologists "clams"?
Like "That Cruise guy sure is a clueless clam."
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
12. You just love getting flamed, don't you?
:P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:40 PM
Response to Original message
13. When are we going to see a Days of Thunder sequel?
Edited on Thu Jun-02-05 08:41 PM by Wickerman
:rofl:

and do you miss your oh so much more talented ex-wife?

:nopity:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. That's why it did not work out, man. She made me feel bad...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. Same thing happened to Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball
Sonny and Cher too.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #16
23. so, even though Vanilla Sky was line for line ripped from Open Your Eyes
and you even had the same female lead, why why do ya suppose your version was not near as compelling?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #23
30. In short: because I'm an idiot. GUYS< I need help! Scientology is
killing me!!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. I suggest prescription drugs
screw the healthy diet, just get some PharCo. chemicals and leave the driving to the docs. Oh, and lay off the BoTox.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #31
34. BoTox... Let me have at least that, please...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #34
41. Can't do it, man, you have a hard enough time with range of emotion
the way it is. Did ya happen to see yourself on Oprah? Dude, when you have to resort to that to display how you feel; when ya can't do it with voice or facial expression, ya've had too much of the 'Tox.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:04 PM
Response to Reply #41
46. My face is my job... I have to preserve it as much as possible...
Everybody in the biz uses it...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #46
51. Now Tom, if everyone in the biz joined the same club
say some weird kind of religion, would you do that, too? Of course not - you are your own man! Remember how you stood up for yourself in, uh, uh, well, anyway, you are your own man.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
14. I'm the greatest! Please bow, now.
:P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Beware the Beast Man Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
17. I'm somehow not surpirsed.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
mark414 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:42 PM
Response to Original message
18. that explains a lot
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
22. Kick!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
jandrok Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
25. How the hell could you possibly kick NICOLE KIDMAN to the....
....curb? What the hell were you thinkin', man? You are most assuredly gay.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:48 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #27
56. Did you mean to post that gays are narcissists?
If you did, that's pretty damned offensive, don't you think?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 01:19 PM
Response to Reply #27
57. An incredibly rude narcissist at that.
sheesh
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Zuni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #27
58. I didn't realize trolls were so stuck on themselves
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
MissB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:53 PM
Response to Original message
35. Say "hi" to my brother for me, m'kay?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
HysteryDiagnosis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:53 PM
Response to Original message
36. Impossible.... he is washing my other car right
at this moment.... you must be mistaken. I let him drive it when he is through... it's only fair....

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
38. Being famous is a curse...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Shrubhater Donating Member (884 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 08:59 PM
Response to Original message
43. Yeah, and I'm John Travolta!
:sarcasm:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
47. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:14 PM
Response to Reply #47
50. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
valis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
48. Ok, bye DUers!
Nice talking to regular people from time to time.
-Tom

All Rights Reserved. Any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. With exception of artwork used for review purposes, none of the contents of this spoof may be reprinted without the permission of Valis. :P
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
chickenscratching Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jun-02-05 09:13 PM
Response to Reply #48
49. see ya later valis!
:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 10:31 AM
Response to Original message
52. Kick for TC!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Name removed Donating Member (0 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 10:32 AM
Response to Original message
53. Deleted message
Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.
 
Kathy in Cambridge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 11:53 AM
Response to Reply #53
54. .
:spray:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
In_The_Wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 11:55 AM
Response to Original message
55. with a brain
amazing

:hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-03-05 01:48 PM
Response to Original message
59. So, how them aliens in the volcanoes doing lately?
Redstone
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Fri Aug 01st 2014, 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » The DU Lounge Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC