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Can SOMEONE Get These People OUT OF MY HOUSE?????

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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:44 PM
Original message
Can SOMEONE Get These People OUT OF MY HOUSE?????
a high school friend of my wife's (never very close) is over with his family.

their Kids are LUNATICS.....

THEY were an HOUR late to begin with.....

THEIR 4 Y.O. is a F*CKING WHACK JOB AND TEARING UP THE PLACE.......

i served dinner at 4:30 EST thinking they would "Eat and Run"....

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!

NOW its a full fledged "Party" complete with my MOTHER IN LAW!!!!

:argh:

HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!
HELP ME!!

x( x(
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nothingshocksmeanymore Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
1. Begin letting one cheek sneakers out at the table
with increasing regularity. I always find flatulence to be of great benefit in helping to clear a room. :D
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:48 PM
Response to Reply #1
3. Didn't Work. PLEASE get over here NOW
and "steel me away"....

ON THE HOOD OF YOUR CAR DAMMIT!!!!

x( x(
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:47 PM
Response to Original message
2. Serve Schlitz Beer
that could chase away most living things
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democrat in Tallahassee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. just tell em to f*c* off and drop your pants
that ought to work
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polmaven Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:02 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. OMG!
I didn't know they still MADE that stuff! Can you still get it in Big Foot Country?
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:13 PM
Response to Reply #7
14. I don't know
I just gave an sujestion see if it would work. Any nasty Beer would do.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:19 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. If that's the case
Iron City would do just as well. :puke:

I'm sure it's available in Boston.
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Jackpine Radical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
17. I sure drank enough of that stuff (Sch{l}itz)
Edited on Sun Jul-20-03 07:26 PM by Jackpine Radical
in my misspent youth.

Must be why I went through those years with no friends.

Wisconsin--land of cowshit & beer farts.
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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:49 PM
Response to Original message
4. Lieberman is on CSPAN
Put him on. He'll drive them off.

:evilgrin:
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Kahuna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Best idea yet!
:evilgrin:
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goobergunch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. hear, hear!
Edited on Sun Jul-20-03 07:12 PM by goobergunch
just make sure to turn it off by 9 PM...British House of Commons Question Time is always enjoyable and they might stay to watch!
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:03 PM
Response to Original message
8. I'm thinking replica Nazi uniform and recordings of Hitler speeches
Should solve the problem once and for all.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
9. Start a discussion on one of the no-no topics
They'll get overheated and leave.

- Politics
- Religion
- Sex


Failing that, you and wifey could go ahead and put on your jammies (even if you never actually wear them!), and get ready for bed.
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Khephra Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Heck, include all three
Talk about the internal politics of tantric sex cults, providing pictures, of course!

:evilgrin:
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scucci Donating Member (280 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Yep
Start talking about your gay friends. That makes my in-laws skedaddle fast. Works like a charm everytime.
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goobergunch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #9
19. Do the Senate Roll Call...
Edited on Sun Jul-20-03 07:32 PM by goobergunch
whenever I want to annoy somebody, I start doing the roll call and they go away by the time I get to the "C"s.

"The Yeas and Nays are Ordered. The Clerk will Call the Roll.
<Then, in your best Sec'y of the Senate voice:>
Mr. Akaka?
Mr. Alexander?
Mr. Allard?
Mr. Allen?
Mr. Baucus?
Mr. Bayh?
Mr. Bennett?
Mr. Biden?
Mr. Bingaman?
Mr. Bond?
Mrs. Boxer?
Mr. Breaux?
Mr. Brownback?
Mr. Bunning?
Mr. Burns?
Mr. Byrd?
<If they haven't gone away yet, continue here: http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senat... >"

EDIT: DU HTML
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Vadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #19
28. You are a riot!...
eom
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oustemnow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #9
38. hell, just take off all your clothes
tell em, "Well, I'd better get ready for bed; I sleep in the raw, you know."
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Sophree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
13. Put on the most offensive music you can find
Or the most offensive to them- Punk rock, or that one song- don't know who sings it-

"Closing Time/You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #13
18. Pucini operas
I love Pucini, but I've observed few of the people in my life can be bribed to suffer a full length rendition of any one of them for anything less than sex.
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GAspnes Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #18
23. my guests usually leave
when I start to sing Puccini -- especially when I try to do all the parts.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
15. Take the 4 year old aside and teach him a dirty limerick
There once was a girl from Nantucket...

Then have him recite it to his parents!
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 07:34 PM
Response to Original message
20. YOU'RE MISSING WOMEN'S BEACH VOLLEYBALL ON TV
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #20
34. I didn't miss it!
*drool*

Of course, I'm sure you stayed tuned to the men's match! :D
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-03 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #34
42. YEAH BUT
ALAS, THE MEN DON'T HAVE THEIR SHORTS GOING UP THEIR CRACKS.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-03 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #42
44. Maybe you should send them a letter requesting such!
You never know. :D

By the way, is there a law that states beach volleyball players have to have strange names? Ayakatubby? Feuerbringer? Karch Kiraly? :shrug:
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maxanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
21. put on some Slim Whitman
hardly anyone can get all the way through Slim yodeling his way through "Red River Valley."

If that doesn't work, bagpipe music will. Full blast.

Dropping trou and standing on your head might work, too.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. or Boxcar Willie...lol nt
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Ivory_Tower Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. ...or a thong. n/t
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
22. "Whoops - look, honey, it's ten O'Clock, the time
we traditionally consider 'Anal Probe the Guests' hour, unless, of course, you need to go home?"
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realFedUp Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:37 PM
Response to Original message
25. Walk into the livingroom naked, scratching yourself.
That should do it.
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I AM SPARTACUS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:48 PM
Response to Original message
26. after dinner, put the plates on the floor for the dog to lick...
...then make a big production of "how CLEAN they are..."...and an even bigger production of PUTTING THE DOG-LICKED PLATES BACK IN THE CUPBOARD...

if they don't leave immediately, at least they'll never come back...

works EVERY time...
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Vadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 09:56 PM
Response to Reply #26
29. I'll have to try this one!
funny! eom
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Purrfessor Donating Member (463 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
30. Break out the can of Raid and spray it excessively........
in their vicinity like air freshner. Tell them it's to get rid of a sudden infestation of pests.
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classics Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
31. Take off all your clothes except the undies.
Then just walk around the house as if it were completely normal.

If anyone says a word just look right at um and say 'Its my naked time'.

That should clear the place out pretty quick.
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The Lone Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 10:28 PM
Response to Original message
32. Oh My God! It's ten thirty and I have forgotten to take my prozac again.
Edited on Sun Jul-20-03 10:29 PM by The Lone Liberal
If you can make your eyes roll around and drool a bit will help.
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RMJ Donating Member (681 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-03 05:16 AM
Response to Reply #32
40. wait...better yet
Clozapine.

:evilgrin:
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 10:31 PM
Response to Original message
33. You can come over to my house
'The Usual Suspects' on DVD, sitting with Sweet Virginia.

:)
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Bossy Monkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
35. If this is likely to become a recurring event, drop a line
and I'll make you a cd of Sacred Harp singing and Bulgarian folk music. I assure you, you will never again have a problem with unwanted guests overstaying their welcomes. The first Sacred Harp tune I ever heard I really liked and played for my friends, telling them I thought these people had discovered a new approach to harmonics. "John," they told me, "they're singing off-key."
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PittPoliSci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 11:50 PM
Response to Reply #35
36. that's really funny
i wanna download some of that now.
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Bossy Monkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-03 03:10 AM
Response to Reply #36
39. It's fairly hard to find
Better might be to try the public library. They're likely to have the Alan Lomax Collection cd series, released on Rounder in 1998. The one you want (if that's the word) is "And Glory Shone Around" Volume 10 of the Southern Journey series. Great stuff; a capella singing that sounds like bagpipe music.
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PittPoliSci Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-03 11:52 PM
Response to Original message
37. try this
Edited on Sun Jul-20-03 11:54 PM by PittPoliSci
Just let out a really loud fart and laugh like a 2 year old. If that doesn't work, discuss the fart in great detail. If that doesn't work, apologize for "crop dusting the 4 year old."

another suggestion.

offer snacks: poison, served chilled with a side of poison.

on edit: subject line. i really should ALL the posts before posting...
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Le Taz Hot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-03 07:29 AM
Response to Original message
41. Loved reading these responses
You guys are truly inspriational. Personally, I always take the direct approach. "Go home! Now!" Diplomacy? What's that? B-)
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Loonman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-03 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
43. Go to the zoo
Talk them into renting you an ocelot for an hour. Let the cat loose in your house and go out for coffee. They should be gone when you return.
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