WTF? It's May 24, and with every breath I take, I see steam

[DS1]

oh wait, it must've been the Chinese takeout smothered in imported West Coast Chili Sauce!

mmmmm, chili sauce - a happy - >

[Kathy in Cambridge]

1. It sucks. It's a monsoon outside and 45 degrees

they said on the weather report that today's high-46-was the normal high for March 5th. And it's supposed to be crappy until Monday.

[SOteric]

2. *snerk*

Another steamy conversation, mon cheri?

[DS1]

4. Hey, it's better than farting fire!

[matcom]

3. that isn't steam

i hooked up a smoke machine to my johnson

[DS1]

5. I've told you before, WEDNESDAY IS JOPLIN NIGHT!!!

Get it fucking right! Goddamn! Do I have to do everything around here? Would you like some crumpets while I'm in the kitchen wiping away my tears?

[matcom]

6. burbon bitch

and make me a fucking turkey pot pie you WHORE!

i'm hungry

[DS1]

7. *swoon*

You sure do know how to redeem yourself

Would you like me in heels or nothing at all?

[matcom]

8. i'm thinking this

[DS1]

9. Sweetheart, you know I can't wear silk when it's raining

[matcom]

10. well, this is my second choice

[DS1]

11. Oooh, black before Friday, kinky!

I feel like such a princess!

Wait, nevermind, I'm not bursting at the seams and being mistaken for a pillow. I may have some extra bits here and there, but I'm not THAT fucking fat, grovelling all over the internet looking for love where I can't find any at home, like a valueless tramp whore.

Because matcom's my tramp whore. Right, love?

[matcom]

12. memories..... in the corner of my mmmmmiiiiinnnnndddddd

[DS1]

13. *sniffle* *sob* *weep*

I miss you elbowing me in my tit

[matcom]

14. remember when i bit it and drew blood?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm titblood mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[DS1]

15. How could I forget?

You wrote your name with my titblood on the carpet. and that made me get off soooo hard

[matcom]

16. next time i want titblood, i'm running the fucker over with my rollerskate

i'm a titblood Pollok

[DS1]

17. No, on that scale, you're Christo Pollok

Get your fucking art history right or I'll drop you like a lead golf ball, BITCH!

*hiss*