Does age difference matter in a relationship?

[BlondieK143]

Discuss.

My opinion - as long as both people involved are legal, it's okay in my book. :) If you're attracted to someone and you connect with them, what's the problem? Example: I met a very nice, charming, and attractive man last night that is quite a few years older. When my friend found this out, she told me that it was gross and disgusting. Does anyone else share this point of view?

[iconoclastic cat]

1. Well, I could imagine a few problems that might arise.

Especially if the younger person is in his or her twenties: most people go through a major shift in their view of life right around thirty years old.

[BlondieK143]

2. That's understandable.

I guess I should've been more specific. In my case, I mean something that's not quite so serious. Just dating and getting to know someone on that relationship level.

[Heidi]

3. Go with your gut feeling.

My first husband was more than 10 years older than me, and I got similar reactions from some people when I married him. Our divorce was about our vastly different world views, not about our age difference. My husband now is three years younger than me, and we've gotten similar reactions ("robbing the cradle") from some folks. I don't put much stock in other folks' opinions about my personal life, and neither should you. Go with your gut feeling, Blondie.

[BlondieK143]

4. Good for you!

I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out in your first marriage, but I'm a firm believer everything happens for a reason. And you're right, other people's opinions shouldn't bother me. :) I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one. lol

[Heidi]

9. You're a sweetie.

I'm not altogether sorry my first marriage didn't work out, because in some respects, it _did_ work out, i.e. we both emerged better human beings after the divorce, and we bear no ill will toward one another (aside from his hatred for liberals). Don't allow those who think they know what's best for you to negate your gut feeling. You're the only one who has to live in your skin. :pals:

[BlondieK143]

11. It's good to hear that you're happy!

:) And the same for your ex (though that Liberal hating thing almost makes me NOT want to say that).

[SarahB]

34. Very true in regard to serious stuff.

(Or potentially serious anyway.) I've packed a lot of life into my 33 years and I can more easily see a relationship with someone 55 than with someone 25. I had a huge shift at 30 myself. I'm a different person than I was 5 years ago. I find that for women especially, that's even more true.

[Wapsie B]

5. As long as the attraction is there,

I say go for it. I've dated women 20 years younger and older than me.

[BlondieK143]

8. Good for you!

Glad you weren't shallow and wouldn't even give them a chance! :)

[Wapsie B]

14. Thanks.

The women older than me taught me about life and how to please a woman. The younger one taught me a lesson about one-way romances. Love can be hard to find for a lot of people, even if you're a person who tries to see the beauty in all people. Age shouldn't get in the way of that prsuit. I'm happy for you.

[BlondieK143]

17. Good for the older one!

:D lol, sorry! That's just a vital thing to know!

And you're right, love is hard to find. And I haven't found it yet, but why rule out possibilities based on technicalities? And thank you! :hug:

[babylonsister]

6. I think an older man can be much more

interesting due to his life experiences. I dated a 36 yr. old guy when I was 18 (and my parents even liked him). Go with your radar, and forget about friends who are narrow-minded.

[BlondieK143]

7. I agree.

Not to mention, they're more stable than someone my age might be. For the most part, older men don't play games (I said for the most part) and they actually know how to treat a woman (not that all men my age don't know how to do that). That's really cool your parents liked him.

[gollygee]

10. I'd say it *can* matter depending on the specific people

I've seen relationships fail largely because of a large age difference, and I've seen relationships where there was a large age difference prosper. I suppose, like most relationships, it depends on the people involved.

[BlondieK143]

12. You're exactly right.

:) Everyone's situation is different.

[notadmblnd]

13. gross and discusting?

My husband was 10 years older than me. We lived together till he died. I'm 46 now, and if I do allow myself to have another relationship with a man, I've decided he's going to be younger than me.

[In_The_Wind]

15. age shouldn't matter

~ as you correctly stated " as long as both people involved are legal"

you go girl

:hi:

[BlondieK143]

16. Hey there!

:hi: Thank you! I must be on a weird streak or something?

[In_The_Wind]

28. weird can be fun

There is a Jennifer Hanson song about - it's alright to let yourself go as long as you know how Get Yourself Back.

damn ~ I feel another *ear worm* coming on:evilgrin:

but seriously ~ age shouldn't make any difference. We can learn something from everyone we know.

personally ~ I think this year will be my year to start dating younger men ~

:woohoo::toast:

[BlondieK143]

32. Hmmm.

Never heard of Jennifer Hanson. What type of music does she sing?

:woohoo: to younger men for you! :) You're a wonderful woman and you deserve someone to make you happy!

[In_The_Wind]

38. thanks

J H is one of those one album hit wonders ~ or so it seems ~ which is too bad. Her music is sorta a rockin' country type. Ya know ~ kick ass with your boots on kinda thing.

beautiful goodbye
just one of those days
half a heart tattoo
this far gone
get yourself back
all those yesterdays
travis
one little word
it isn't just raining
baby i was wrong
simply yours

I seem to have copies of her CD in every car I drive

[BlondieK143]

50. I might have to check it out.

I don't listen to a lot of country, but I always have an open mind when it comes to music.

[In_The_Wind]

62. snail mail

I know your pennies are all being saved for your next trip north so I can mail a CD to you when you're ready to be ~ a little bit country, a little bit rock.

:popcorn:

[BlondieK143]

64. That's very sweet of you!

:hug: :yourock:

[Longgrain]

18. I tend to get along better with people around my own age, but

that's just me.

I've always looked beyond just the attraction tho, and looked for the common root of the relationship.

If someone's much older or younger, you might want to examine why you're attracted to this person first before taking any big plunges, but other than that, I think it could work out, it depends on the people involved.

[BlondieK143]

22. It's not a big plunge.

It's just a possibility. And it's the same if we were the same age, I'd evaluate why I'm attracted to a younger person as well. :)

[Left Is Write]

19. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

If it doesn't matter to the two people involved, then it doesn't matter.

I am married to a man eight years my junior.

[BlondieK143]

25. You're right.

:) That should be all that matters.

[Shoeempress]

20. Absolutely not. Married over 20 years to a man 10 years older then me.

I was in my very early 20's when we married. Love him more today than I did then. Age means nothing, it is the ability to change and grow together, and always have fun. So glad I didn't let the age difference scare me off, cuz I freaked when I found out how old he was. Thought he was at most 5 years older, although I never asked. Oh and ignore what other's think, it is not important.

[BlondieK143]

24. Congratulations!

:) That's so wonderful to hear!

[Shoeempress]

27. Thanks, I'm a very lucky person.

[Seabiscuit]

21. "as long as both people involved are legal...???

What about all those poor gay Americans that don't live in Massachusetts???

I'm 17.5 years older than my wife and no one I know thinks that's "disgusting".

[BlondieK143]

23. I meant legal as in 18 years old or older.

Gay or straight people.

[bridgit]

26. well...

i've always been attracted to older men. most of the men my age were dweebs, or just wanted sex. there's 17yr 'disparity' between boyfriend & i; but he's so damn creative, dreamy & yummy that i don't care so maybe i'm the wrong one to say,

"how dare you think like that!!!" :shrug:

[BlondieK143]

30. You're the right one to say!

:) That's wonderful and I'm glad you've found someone that makes you happy!

[flvegan]

29. Just a number in the grand scheme of things. When I was 26,

I dated a woman who was 35 for quite a while. Our problem was distance in miles, not years.

[BlondieK143]

31. The distance thing is definitely hard.

It takes a special person to be able to do it, and I'm not so sure if I'm that kind of person.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

33. My Skippy is 8 years older than me...

And he's my best friend. He looks like he's a lot younger, and I get accused of being older than HIM! I don't think it matters who you fall in love with as long as they're legal and you can have a conversation with them. I get so pissed off at these people who choose their dates and spouses based on looks and wonder why they don't communicate! BECAUSE YOUR S.O. PROBABLY DOESN'T HAVE A BRAIN IN HIS/HER HEAD BUT GODDAMN, THEY HAVE A NICE ASS/NICE BOOBS!! Ugh, it pisses me off.
I think if you can have true mental and spiritual intercourse with this guy, outside of just sex, I say go for it! Make yourself happy!
Duckie

[BlondieK143]

36. No kidding!!!

That whole looks thing really bothers me! That's okay, one day they'll wake up and realize they've made a big mistake.

Congratulations on being happy! :D That's wonderful!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

Thanks.

I think that's why the US has such a high divorce rate. People don't know what love is, first of all. They mistake lust for love. They haven't learned, nor will they probably ever.
Thanks!
Duckie

[BlondieK143]

49. You aren't kidding!

I think that people use the word 'love' too freely as well. Ugh, that's another tangent! lol

[bertha katzenengel]

35. Eleven years' difference between me & Mrs. V. --

:shrug: We have fun comparing "generational" notes -- as in, growing up in the 50s-60s vs growing up in the 60s-70s. But other than that our ages are unimportant to our relationship.

My unmarried sister has a thing for older guys, and has a mad lustful crush on Sam Elliot. The Voice -- It's What's For Dinner. ;)

GFI, Blondie. :hi:

[BlondieK143]

37. LOL!

That's funny! :)

How long have you and Mrs. V been together?

Still coming to TN? :D

[bertha katzenengel]

40. We met five and a half years ago. I moved out here about four years ago.

And yes, ma'am, we'll be there the week of July 11! Really looking forward to meeting you! :bounce:

[BlondieK143]

48. That's wonderful!

I'm very happy for you both!

And I can't wait to meet ya'll too! :) We'll have a blast!

[Kathy in Cambridge]

39. When I was your age, I preferred older men

20 year old guys were babies, and most of my boyfriends were 5+ years older than me. My husband was 3 years older than me. As I've gotten older, men my age (41) become very stuck in their ways, while my female friends are open to new things. Most of my guy friends are younger than me. But really, it depends on the individual. As an 'young' 41, I have more in common with people in their 20s and 30s than 40s and 50s. Luckily, I have friends my own age who have a similar mindset. :-)

[BlondieK143]

43. What are you talking about?

You're 21, right? :) I have to say that you're an absolutely wonderful person and any man would be lucky to have you! And your ex is completely missing out!

[blondeatlast]

41. Hubby is 12 years younger, and for about a year, when he turned 27

it mattered a lot. He went through a major thing regarding being married and a father at such a young age.

We pretty much separated in a freindly way, he saw our son as often as he could manage, and then he said he realized that he had someting pretty good with me and our son.

We just celebrated 9 years, and it's like we just met this year for some reason. That magic is still in the air.

If that indescribable something is there, the difference could be 60 years (again, assuming bothe parties are "of age") and I don't think it matters.

That special person is hard enough to find. Why must we put artificial limits on it? Age, sex, race, whatever?

[BlondieK143]

45. That's so wonderful

that you both found your way back to each other! :) You guys give me hope!

and you're right, your last sentence is the most honest thing I've heard in awhile!

[Nikia]

42. I think there are a couple factors

I think that middle aged people and younger people should be careful about serious relationships. What I mean by this is people over 35 dating people under 24. These people are often at different points in their life. Even though some high school seniors are 18, it just seems a little weird for anyone over 30 to date them.
Another potential problem could be family situations. For example, my 42 year old uncle recently married a 22 year old woman. This has caused problems with his 18 year old daughter who hates this woman and it is mutual. This can happen with any step parent, but when the children and step parent are close to the same age, relating as peers, things can be even more strained.
If you are much younger and thinking about being together long term, you might want to think about how you will feel in the future. I understand that you just want to have fun now. My own personal bias was to never date a person who wasn't a potential marriage partner because I hated getting hurt at the break up.

[BlondieK143]

46. That's true.

Children are a big factor in whether or not these type of relationships work. I think it's really important that the kids be okay with it, otherwise, like in your case, there will be serious problems in the future. Relationships come and go, those kids are there forever and they should be put first.

And you're right, the break-ups hurt, but I guess I'm just the type of person that wants to talk to all different types/kinds of people to find out what I want in a future partner. I know in my mind that I'm not ready to settle down at 19, I still have so much life to live. But that doesn't mean I want to shut down potential friends and relationships that I could benefit from.

[serryjw]

109. I agree....children are the number 1 issue...

Woman go thru the 'biological clock' they want kids and maybe an older man that has his kids already wouldn't want to do it again. I'm 55,single,childless. I really don't want to be a 'step mother' to teen age kids. This is a 'no win' situation so I stay away from younger guys.

[BlondieK143]

110. Have you ever wanted kids?

I realize that may be a personal question so you don't have to answer. I just know that there are some people (like my aunt) that have never had the desire to have children.

[serryjw]

121. I dunno

It was never a burning desire and for many reasons it just never happened. Trying to be a step mom to teens when parents are not getting along well is very difficult. They are really too old to have a say in how they are raised. Teen life today is much more difficult than ever before. My health is not great and I'm being selfish at 55 that I just want to have a 'love affair'.

[BlondieK143]

122. That's not being selfish!

I think it's wonderful! And if you haven't found that great love affair yet, I hope it comes to you very soon! After 55 years, you deserve it!

[serryjw]

125. Thanks

I'm working on it.

[JimmyJazz]

44. No. It doesn't matter.

Love is tough enough to find without put age restrictions on it ;)

:hi:

Again, assuming both parties are of legal age.

[BlondieK143]

47. Completely agree!

:D You never want to have that whole "So, yeah, by the way, I'm just 16." conversation. lol

[JimmyJazz]

51. It's just that when someone you really like comes into your life,

why let society tell you that you shouldn't have feelings for someone. (Again, this is assuming they are of legal age).

I guess I'm looking at the from the other side. All the fuss about the age when the woman is older kinda pisses me off. 40 really isn't the end of the world for a woman these days, you know :D

[BlondieK143]

52. It's just the beginning.

:) 40 is young and there's a whole lot of life ahead of it. And society has serious double standards when it comes to men and women. If a woman dates a younger man, she's a cradle robber. But for some reason, if a man dates a younger woman, everyone thinks he's 'scored'. Ugh.

[yvr girl]

53. It can, but it depends on the people

If someone wants to have children and the other person doesn't want to revisit that part of life - it will be a problem.

Older has never really bothered me. My brothers are 8-13 older than me, so it doesn't seem like a big age difference to me.

I've always had a phobia about younger men though. The idea of turning 40 first really bugged me. It doesn't bother me as much anymore.

[BlondieK143]

55. You aren't 40.

:D 22 at tops. Seriously, like I told Kathy, I hold you two in the highest regards. You're beautiful, strong, intellient women and men are insane if they aren't knocking your door down!

And you're right, having children plays a big part in it. Plus, they're might already be children in the equation.

[yvr girl]

57. No, I'm not 40

But I've gotten over the phobia. I think younger men are just now getting of an age to be interesting.

[BiggJawn]

54. If you connect, it's good.

How long it lasts, who can say?

Always "went for" older women, myself...

[hippiechick]

56. Yes, I like my men younger !

:evilgrin:

[BlondieK143]

59. Go you!

:) Whatever makes you happy!

[giant_robot]

58. There are 13 years between me and my gf (Me-40, her- 27).

She has always been attracted to people older than herself, and 13 years difference is actually at the low end of the spectrum for her! The age difference is the least of my worries, right now.

[BlondieK143]

60. Good for you two!

I hope things work out well! :)

[giant_robot]

72. So far - yes.

Looming on the horizon is the fact that I have to get a "real" job soon, and it's probably going to be out of town. I'd love to go for the best I job can get and take her with me, but I don't know how that's going to go over with her. Like I said earlier, the age thing is the least of my worries!

[BlondieK143]

73. That's definitely something difficult.

It's hard to up and leave things that you're used to. It won't be an easy choice for her, so give her time (which I'm sure you will). :D

[progmom]

61. if you connect and you're both legal

you're golden.

on edit - i almost always dated older men. progdad is 5 years older than me...

:hi:

[BlondieK143]

63. :)

:hug:

[JimmyJazz]

65. I've always been the opposite.

I don't seek out younger men, it just seems to work out that way. :shrug:

[progmom]

66. thinking back...

after high school, i never ever dated anyone less than 3 years older than me.

[Mutley]

67. My SO is almost 11 years older than me.

And my dad is 17 years older than my stepmother. Age doesn't matter IMO.

[BlondieK143]

70. Wow!

That's wonderful! How long have you two been together?

[Mutley]

74. It'll be 8 years on June 22.

Damn, time flies by! I was only 18 when we started dating.

[BlondieK143]

76. That's wonderful!

Not only are you a great example of the age difference, but being together at a young age as well. I know a lot of people that think being seriously involved with someone at that age is completely nuts. I, on the other hand, think it's perfectly normal. :)

[Mutley]

79. I never thought we would go this far

but hey, it ended up working out. and the only real problems we've had with our age difference is that he's been in a place where he wants to settle down and get married and have kids for a few years now, but I've wanted to wait at least until I get out of school. And he's been fine with that. Now, I think we've actually decided to set THE date for June 22 next year. :scared: it freaks me out a little but I think I'll be ready by then.

[BlondieK143]

81. It's natural to be freaked out.

:) Or so I would imagine seeing as how I've never been in your situation. Are you ready to have kids now?

[Mutley]

84. I've been ready.

I've felt the biological clock ticking for a few years now. But I wanted to be in a place where I could give my kids the life I want them to have. I've seen so many of my friends have kids at young ages and not only has it affected their ability to BE their age and have fun, but it has affected their ability to allow their kids to have a good life without worrying about where the next meal is coming from. They all love their kids and don't regret them one bit, but I didn't want to put myself in the same situation.

[BlondieK143]

86. That's so mature of you!

It's so nice to see people that actually prepare to have children and try to bring them up in a loving, stable enviroment. I'm like you, I see a lot of people my age that make stupid decisions when it comes to things like that. :hug: I really wish you the best in everything for your future together!

[Mutley]

89. Thanks!

And you too! :hug:

Yeah, my dad made some silly decisions when he was my age and he made sure I was well aware of them and how I could avoid doing the same things myself.

[BlondieK143]

91. Thank you!

and it's always nice to see others go through similar experiences. It's sad, but most of the time we have to learn those lessons on our own. :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

68. It depends upon the personalities involved. My brother used to date

girls in their early 20's when he was in his mid thirties. It never seemed to last long because, in his words,"he had already been through all that and didn't want to visit it again". He's now 38 and about to be a daddy.

Again, I really think it depends on the people involved. :hi:

[BlondieK143]

69. How about you and Mr. G?

What's the difference there? (If you don't mind me asking).

I'm glad he found someone to be happy with and to be a daddy. :D

[ScreamingMeemie]

75. MrG makes a huge deal out of the fact that I am a whopping 38 days

older than him. ;) We went to school together (from 7th grade), dated in high school, broke up (because he was "too nice" to me would you believe) and then ran back into each other at 22 (lucky me that he gave me a second chance). Sometimes he can act waayyyyy younger than I, and people always accuse me of robbing the cradle whenever he shaves his beard off. :hi:

[BlondieK143]

78. LOL!

That's so funny!! :D Isn't it weird how life works out? I'm glad you two got your second chance!

[leftofthedial]

71. everything matters in a relationship

is a significant age difference some sort of automatic showstopper? No.

is a significant age difference a source of the judgement of others? Yes.

[tjdee]

77. Jamie Bell is 10 years younger than me, and that's okay with....me!

:silly:

The only thing about those age differences that's kind of weird is that the age difference itself is part of the attraction. Obviously, that's not always the case. But, if I were to date Jamie Bell, or any other young kid, part of the attraction would be that they were young and energetic, etc. Similarly, if an older man were interested in me, part of that would be that I have a younger body (well, actually I don't, LOL!), etc.

But then I figure that there's always reason for attraction, so age is no different than preferring a blonde with glasses or a thin tall man :loveya: ... a while back I started a thread called "Is it wrong to have a type?" because I think I'd feel like it was less about me or the other person than what we were looking for. Hopefully that would change--and obviously people fall in love with people of all ages.

Umm, the short answer would be....I don't know WTF I'm talking about!

[BlondieK143]

80. You DO know what you're talking about!

Or else you don't and I'm not making sense either. :) hehe

I think you're completely right about being attracted to the age thing. I know in my case, older men seem more mature and stable (well, I'd hope so anyway) and that quality is very attractive to me. Just the same as you pointed out as an older man might be attracted to a younger person for their energy. So yes, you're making complete sense! I just couldn't put it into words like you did.

[Fenris]

82. Absolutely not.

My girlfriend is 15 years older than I am.

[BlondieK143]

83. excellent!

how long have you been together?

[Fenris]

85. A year in July,

:)

I've never been happier.

[BlondieK143]

87. Congrats!

:) May there be many more happy ones!

[Pepperbelly]

88. I'm 52 and don't date women over 25 ...

Of course, since I'm old as dirt, I don't get out much.

:D

[BlondieK143]

90. Damn!

I just missed the cut off! :)

[Pepperbelly]

93. If you're cool enough ...

I might make an exception. So long as you're not bitter.

:D

[BlondieK143]

95. Nah.

Bitter's not in my vocabulary. :) I'm just too young to be tied down.

[Pepperbelly]

97. Me, too, baby ....

Born to be wild!

:smoke:

:headbang:

[BlondieK143]

98. LOL!

On second thought, maybe you're TOO wild for me! :)

[Pepperbelly]

99. You're beginning to see it!

Welcome to my world.

:D

[Mutley]

92. Hey

my dad is 55 and he gets hit on by women younger then me pretty regularly (and I'm 25). it's not impossible.

[Lannes]

94. Dated a girl in college

When I was in my mid 30s.Lots of fun at first but then she wanted us to hang out alot more with her friends and I couldnt stand them because they were just dumb kids and I felt out of place.

Not true of all college students of course.

[BlondieK143]

96. But a lot of them

:D You mean you weren't up for a kegger every night? lol

[Lannes]

100. Some partying was cool

But thats all they lived for and the conversations revolved around that.After a while it became tiresome and so did she but it was fun while it lasted.

[BlondieK143]

101. At least you had fun.

You only live once, right?

[Dastard Stepchild]

102. In general, no. To me, yes.

I like the idea of being with someone my age so that we can progress through all of life's new and interesting stages together.

[BlondieK143]

103. That's a good point.

I can understand that perspective of things. I didn't really think of it that way.

[Dastard Stepchild]

104. Yeah....

my husband and I never had any kids, never owned a home, etc. when we were single (or even before we met), so there is something very exciting about doing these things together with him. IMHO, there is also something profoundly special about struggling through new struggles with someone I love and trust. It has made our relationship stronger, to some extent - kind of like it is us versus the rest of the world.

[RagingInMiami]

105. How much older is this guy

My last GF was ten years younger than me and we lived together for two-and-a-half years.

[BlondieK143]

106. He's quite a bit older.

14 years.

[RagingInMiami]

107. So that would make him 33 or 34?

I'm not sure if you've had a b-day recently.

But I'm 36, so maybe there's a chance for me and you. I'm very young at heart.

Honestly, I don't see a problem with it as long as both people are over 18. In any relationship, besides having a physical attraction, you need a mental connection. That mental connection, sometimes, can be harder to have when there is a big age difference, but it's not impossible.

It all depends on maturity levels and shared experiences.

The only problem that might arise from the age difference between you and this guy is that you guys are in two different stages of your lives. He may be at a stage where he's ready to settle down because he's done a lot of partying and wild things while you might be at a stage where you really don't want to settle down.

Either way, as long as their mutual respect, you guys can learn a lot from each other.

[BlondieK143]

108. Yep, 34.

I was counting myself as 20 (okay, so I've still got 5 months lol). And yes, if you weren't so far away, there would be a chance. I don't rule anyone out until I've given them the opportunity to impress me. :) Okay, so that was a little cocky, but I'm fully aware what I want and I won't settle anymore. And being young at heart is a VERY attractive quality!

I completely agree with you about both sides of the attraction. It may take a little digging, but there are things that you can have in common even though there is an age gap. And maturity has a HUGE deal to do with it. If the younger person in the situation isn't mature, I highly doubt there's much of a chance that the relationship could survive.

And you're right, it could be that things won't work out, but at least I gave it the chance. I'd rather live my life without any regrets and any 'what ifs'. Does that makes sense? lol

[RagingInMiami]

111. Just cause you're going out with somebody doesn't mean you're

going to commit you're whole life to him. Just take it as an experience.

With each relation I've had over the years, I've come closer and closer to determining what I really want in a relationship.

[BlondieK143]

112. EXACTLY!

:) Now, when are you going to visit TN?

[RagingInMiami]

113. I live in Miami

It would probably be more fun if you visit down here.

But I've always wanted to check out Nashville and Memphis. I heard they have good BBQ up there. What part do you live in?

[BlondieK143]

114. Good point!

I've never been to Miami. I've been to Orlando, Destin, Panama City, and Fort Walton (I think). I hear it's a pretty fun city, I'd probably get into too much trouble! :D

I'm from East TN. Memphis has better BBQ, but we can hold our own over here. :) Plus, we have the beautiful mountains and we all know you can't beat those (unless you're comparing it to a beach). Honestly, I've only been to Memphis once and Nashville twice. Pretty sad, I know.

[Lannes]

115. Drove through TN a couple of times

Incredible scenery loved the hills covered in trees,quite beautiful. Speaking of BBQ I saw a BBQ contest on TV that rated Memphis number one,of course they didnt try my ribs.

[BlondieK143]

116. Of course!

So you make good ribs, huh? I bet we could give you a run for your money. :)

And you're right, the scenery is beautiful. Just not much to do here.

[Lannes]

117. I hear you

Im on the gulf coast of Fla and it can get pretty boring here as well.Been here 11 years.Originally from NYC and miss it very much.Hoping to move to upstate NY in the next couple of years so I can visit more often.

As for ribs,Im a pretty good cook but there is always room for improvement.There is a course that teaches it that Im thinking of going to.

http://www.baron-of-bbq.com/

[BlondieK143]

118. That's very interesting!

I didn't know they had a course for that type of thing! It sounds like fun to be honest! :)

I bet moving from NYC to FL was a BIG change! I'm actually hoping to move next May up north. We'll see how that one goes!

[Lannes]

119. Yes and no

My family vacationed down here so I was familiar with the area but needing a car to go everywhere took some getting used to and not having a change in seasons like up north.

Also missed the art scene, the music,playing streetball,looking at all the great architecture and the people.Florida has alot of transplants from up north but it seems to be getting redder every day.Tons of cars with a big W on the back.

[BlondieK143]

120. Ugh!

Don't those W things make you want to poke your eyes out with forks? So ridiculous! I don't think I could live in FL all the time. We have a lot of offices there (for my work) and most of the people I talk to on a daily bases are complete assholes. (Again, not EVERY FL person is, but the ones I talk to are).

Did you have a car when you lived in the city? That's one thing that I'm not sure what I'm going to do about when I move. I'm conflicted. I'm going to feel naked without it, but I know I could get quite a bit of money selling it. :shrug:

[Lannes]

123. Depends where you move

If you are moving to NY then you wont need one and you will have to pay through the roof to keep it garaged.We are talking the same price as renting an apartment in some other cities.Parking on the street is a real hassle and you have to move it constantly because of alternate side of the street parking.

If you are moving to another city check to see how good their mass transit system is and ask the locals.More than likely you wont need one if you arent going to be living in the burbs.

[BlondieK143]

124. Thanks for the imput!

:) I'm stressing about moving already! lol

But you should really visit TN again sometime.

[Lannes]

126. Your welcome

If ever make it up there Ill know who to ask for travel tips! Hope your move goes well and keep in mind that it can take some time to feel comfortable in a new city so give it time.Good luck!

[u4ic]

127. A couple I knew had a huge age difference

They met when she was in her mid-30's, he in his late 50's. Within a few years, they were married and had 2 kids. I haven't been in touch with them for a while, but they were very happy together, and made a wonderful couple. :thumbsup:

Another couple I know have at least 15 years difference between them...their relationship is rocky, but age isn't the problem, personality is.

Age is only a number anyway. My very soon to be ex is 45 (6 years age difference between us), but I don't think he's really gotten past 20. In not a good way.

[BlondieK143]

128. Sorry to hear about your ex.

That's very unfortunate, but it's good you're getting out while you're unhappy. :hug:

And thanks for the other two stories!

[u4ic]

130. Thank you :)

We'll still be friends, but just couldn't work it out. It was a tough decision, as I'm disabled and really don't think I'll find anybody again.

[barb162]

129. yeah, I think so in the case of a large age diff .

[SOteric]

131. Certainly I don't think it's disgusting if both are legally adults,

but it can be a problem in a relationship.

Mind you, other people's relationship problems are not really my business, and I can't claim to have made such a success out of my own personal life that I'm in any position to judge or give advice.

Here's the thing, though, - very dramatic age differences can be symptoms of deeper issues. I don't care about Demi and Ashton, but an 18 year old being sexually involved with a 70 year old regardless of gender/preference, etc. strikes me as being a good example of there being likely deeper issues.

In general, age differences aren't going to be particularly relevant in a relationship, but they can have an impact and create some challenges. People at different stages of their lives can have some very different goals and perspectives. And sometimes it's just really nice to spend time with a companion who remembers the same music, movies, books, - who shares your cultural experiences.

To say that age should make in automatic difference in whom we can or may love is not correct. But to say that one's age doesn't matter in a relationship is actually saying quite a bit more. And of course, it depends on how serious the relationship.

[all.of.me]

132. i have many many many stories of age differences!

my girls' dad is 8 years older than me.

after he left us, his girlfriend was <ahem> 30 years younger than him. he had other kids her age! it was bizarre and ended badly. wow, what a surprise.

i've had intimate relationships with men ten years younger, too. my current buddy is just two years younger.

i had a friend who, at about 50, was dating a man much older than her. he must have been in his 60s. can't remember exactly. they were quite serious, but his health was bad. he sort of cut it off, because he did not want to be a burden to her as they aged. it was bittersweet. they went back and forth a while, then she finally moved away, which completely ended it. but that's another angle, that men usually die ahead of women. i know you're not that old, but i hadn't thought of it that way until i knew this story.

ultimately, it's about what you feel, not what others think. i think if you are truly going to fall in love, nothing will stop it.