I need help--anyone have any ideas how to find an old friend?

[intheflow]

I had a very good friend for many, many years. We would lose touch and find each other again and again over the course of 20 years when we both still lived in the same area we grew up in. The last time we hooked up, about 4 years back, I went to visit her at her home in Arizona where she moved. As I was leaving , we had a HUGE fight that I've regretted ever since (although it was no one's "fault").

I very much want to call her and patch things up with her, but she has moved/disconnected her phone and changed her email address. Both Google and whtie pages search come up with big donut holes. Without spending $$ I don't have on a PI service, anyone have any ideas how I can find her again?

[TNDemo]

1. Go to bighugs.com

and you may have some luck. You can see the person's age and know if you may be close to finding the city anyway. If you get the city nailed down and you know her last name you could check the property tax records and get an address.

[intheflow]

8. This is a pay site. BUT

I did find her father's name through this. He's getting on in years, and she is a nurse, so he may have moved in with her. Thanks for the lead.

[TNDemo]

14. It's a pay site if you want further information

but if you just need the city it's free.

[Stillwater]

2. Try this

www.zabasearch.com.

[intheflow]

10. This is a great site!

I found two possible addresses and a possible phone number. One address also lists someone with her father's name living there. She's a nurse and may have had her elderly father move in with her. Thanks so much for this lead!

[Stillwater]

15. You're welcome

I hope it works out for you

[intheflow]

25. BTW, Stillwater,

I didn't notice your post count before. Welcome to DU! :hi:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

3. Also try voter registration and the county .........

assesor's office for property ownership. Try for marriage licences. You might want to call her former neighbors and see if they know anything.

One of my jobs in college was a P.I. and that's what they do.

[intheflow]

13. Thanks, Crazy.

She was building a house when I last saw her. It was in or near Tucson. Would the assesor's office give me her address over the phone?

[Crazy Guggenheim]

16. Just maybe. I think in most places it's public info.

They might ask why so just tell them you're looking up an old friend.

[amazona]

21. good Lord Rebecca Shaeffer anyone?

If such information is still public in 2005 without safeguards, well, it sure as heck shouldn't be!

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Crazy Guggenheim]

22. Anyone famous, maybe anyone for that matter, can have

their information blocked. But let me tell you it's scarey out there on the web.

[hyphenate]

4. The newest search site

is http://www.zabasearch.com

It's incredible, and easy to find people.

[bettyellen]

7. wow! thanks that is a good one.......

[MrScorpio]

5. Try Classmates.com

It's amazing who many people I knew in the past are on that site

[Lauri16]

6. I found alot friends through classmates.com

That's awesome for finding people that you've lost touch with. Even if they're not registered, there's usually someone that knows how to reach the person that you're looking for.

[intheflow]

12. This was a good suggestions, but no luck.

However, flashing back to all of the people who had signed up gave me a serious case of the heebie-jeebies! No wonder I dropped out of that nuthouse! LOL

[barackmyworld]

9. google her name and related terms

like her name in quotes and the city she lives in

[intheflow]

11. I did that already.

No luck there.

[RagingInMiami]

17. I might be able to help you out

PM me the person's name, approximate age and places your friend has lived.

[intheflow]

24. Thanks, Raging.

Check your pm.

[amazona]

18. argh an old "friend" just hunted me down

I don't know how, and if I did, I wouldn't tell you how, since being contacted by someone that you had a huge fight with many years previously is not necessarily a great way to start the day. No, I do not want to re-live the 80s with someone who can't put down the pipe but how do you say that in a tactful fashion?

Any advice that anyone gives you here for hunting down your former friend could also be used by a stalker. I realize you're a good person and so not a stalker, but once paths have diverged, maybe it is best to go on our way and not look back on the past.

I guess my advice is to blow off the whole project. Please don't brickbat me too aggressively about the head and shoulders if you disagree. :-)

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[intheflow]

23. Good point about the stalker.

I hadn't thought of that. You are wise, amazona.

Here's the deal. We got on fine all week I was there, but then had a blowup over something inconsequential just as I was leaving and under time constraint.

That happened my first year in seminary. It's been eating me up, because we have been friends since junior high. I have meditated on our relationship and our fight. We have been through a lot together, and her friendship has helped shape me from a high school drop out to getting a Masters. I wanted to send her a note inviting her to my upcoming graduation and thanking her for helping me on my spiritual journey. If she answers or not is immaterial. I just want her to know how much she has influenced me. In writing only, no phone calls. Never stalking-like.

As an aside, I think I dated the person with the pipe problem in the 80's, too. If your person is anything like my person... I'm so sorry. :(

[amazona]

26. sounds reasonable

I'm just down on it for the obvious personal reason but it sounds like if you find her, you're being very fair so I'll wish you good luck!

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[Robb]

19. Easy. Inherit money.

...I understand everyone you've ever known starts turning up on your doorstep. :D

[amazona]

20. yeah a friend of mine made a LOT of money

This appears to be the real reason our mutual "former" friend has popped up like a bad egg. Only he and one other person had the email address she used to contact me, and he has a wireless network, and you can probably figure out the rest. He's really worried because she probably read all of his email and funny coinky-dink but he had several "unauthorized" transfers out of his bank account recently.

It's scary.

So I'm real down on old friends popping up at the moment...

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[shesemsmom]

27. I had better luck with Reunion.com

than classmates. Good luck

[intheflow]

28. *** Thanks for the suggestions, Everyone! ***

I think I've found my person. :toast:

[shesemsmom]

29. You are quite welcome

:hi: