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Has anyone run away before as an adult or wanted to?

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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:03 PM
Original message
Has anyone run away before as an adult or wanted to?
One of the things that I thought about the runaway bride story is that it is not that uncommon. Some people feel extrememly stressed or hopeless in their circumstances and feel that this is the only way out without killing themselves.
I've thought about running away some time, but haven't at least not for more than a few hours (I wouldn't count that.) How about other DUers? Have you ever run away as an adult? If you haven't, have you thought about it? Has the run away bride story made you change your mind? I don't mean to out anyone who has changed their identity and started a new life.
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cestpaspossible Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. I ran away by not answering the phone or opening the mail for months.
Since I live alone, that was almost same as disappearing off the face of the earth.

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achtung_circus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
2. In September of 2003
I put what was important to me in a storage locker, told my wife of 18 years that when she decided to speak civilly to me maybe we could talk about solving our problems and got on an airplane.

I should have done it years ago. I ran and I've landed quite nicely (I think)
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
3. I'm sure most of us have felt that desire from time to time,
however fleeting it may be.

I once asked my mother - who raised five children, two dogs, and several litters of puppies - how she managed on some of the craziest days. She told me that most of the time she just went with the flow and didn't sweat the noise or the mess, but she also admitted that a couple of times she fantasized about "running away" and getting her own apartment.

I think in times of high stress, it's normal to fantasize about "running away" and having something to yourself - time, space, quiet, whatever - but that most people leave it at the fleeting fantasy and don't actually do anything about it.
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Radio_Lady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:28 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. Your post brings back a memory of Mother's Day for me --
Edited on Wed May-04-05 06:29 PM by Radio_Lady
I was deeply into my present marriage, five children, ages ranging from 14 down to 2 when we got married. We both worked full-time outside of the home.

One Mother's Day, the kids and my husband made my breakfast and I got around to opening presents.

After that, they all ran out to play, while my husband disappeared, leaving me with the dishes for SEVEN people in the sink. I called after them, but got the response, "Well, we MADE breakfast -- we shouldn't have to clean up!!!"

By that time it was about 11 AM. I went to the bedroom, packed a bag, got in the car, and drove to the local Howard Johnson's motel in the next New England town.

I checked in, drew a bath, put bubbles in it and soaked for an hour with the lights out. I stayed there for several hours, sleeping, eating and watching TV. I did just what I wanted to do for Mother's Day.

As I recall, I returned to the house either very late that night or perhaps it was the next day, and just resumed my duties as if nothing had happened.

It was one of the best Mother's Days I've ever spent.

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Radio_Lady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. When my second husband told me he didn't love me after 9 years --
of marriage, I got in my car and drove from Opa Locka, Florida to Hendersonville, North Carolina so I could get away from him.

The difference was: I took my two kids, ages 2 and 1, one of our cars, and enough Pampers (disposable diapers were just invented) to help me get through until the long drive was over. As soon as I got settled, I called him. To do anything else would have been more than painful; it would have been abusive.

After a few weeks in temporary housing, I got an apartment. I remember I had $80.00 in my pocket and a Phillips 66 gas charge card. It was August 1970 and I prayed that someone would be kind to me and give me a job. Luckily, one of the town merchants took pity on me and I went to work as a cashier in his local store. I put my children in day care, and tried to repair my marriage with long-distance calls to a psychologist.

Long story short -- came back to Florida in December 1970, gave it another shot for two months, but got divorced in 1971.

My children are now 35 and 36. They are fourteen months apart, live in different states, and are practicing different religions. Everyone is getting together here in Portland in June -- two children, spouses, and four grandkids. My ex-husband doesn't like me, but he gets along OK with the man I remarried in 1973.
We must have done something right!
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the Princess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:22 PM
Response to Original message
5. I have run away by just disappearing into my house
Not answering e-mail - the phone - or even knocks at the door. I was seriously depressed and I needed to be alone.
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:28 PM
Response to Original message
6. Wanted to a couple of times. You think, "I could just get in the car..."
"Stop at the gas station and tank up, then just keep driving. And driving."

I never took the fantasy to far beyond that, except I always imagined that the car was headed through the wide-open Southwest. :)



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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
8. Felt like it,
when my kids were teenagers..all 3 were teens at once. Hubby was working 7 days a week(forced overtime)with one weekend off a month, my mom was getting older and needed help and then my sister got sick, ended up in a coma and died. The two oldest kids were not following rules and there were many times where I just felt like saying "fuck it". On my drive to pick up my Mom, I used to fantasize about just driving by her house, keep on driving and never coming back..
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amazona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:50 PM
Response to Original message
9. I ran away as a legal adult and "helped" myself to an auto
I was only 18 or 19 though so cut me some slack.

No, there was no media coverage. White blonde girls disappear every day just like all other species of humanity, and it is not news. I don't know why the "runaway bride" got so much media coverage. Law enforcement is not supposed to look for adults, unless they have committed some crime (or are clearly victims of a crime) and even then they are not going to be worried about hunting down females who are, after all, unlikely to be committing mayhem and murder. I presume the "runaway bride" family must be very rich or else connected to someone very influential. The police just don't hunt you down every time you get cold feet about a wedding. Sheesh. How many males would be in jail now if they did?

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72


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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
10. Read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/068911877...

A close friend gave me long ago it to read after he read it himself; I read it and more than a little bit of Jay's story and how he acted to it mirrored my own. Made me understand myself better in the long run, I guess.
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yvr girl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 06:59 PM
Response to Original message
11. I was supposed to show up for something on a Friday night
and I didn't get there until about Saturday at noon. I just couldn't go. My friends were really worried. They thought I might have had an accident on the way.

They were phoning my house, and I could hear the messages but I couldn't even make myself answer the phone.

The next day, when I showed up, they were all over me. What happened. I fled. Literally got in my car and drove away. It took me a couple of hours to get the courage to go back.
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 07:06 PM
Response to Original message
12. Never done it but thought about it
Especially in grad school, I thought about getting in my car and just driving away. Leaving my wife and husbands and daughter and debts and responsibilities and sadness and anger and frustration way behind me - just barely visible in my rearview mirror

The gas would run out, the car would break down and I'd live in the desert as a hermit eating snakes and insects and writing good poetry no one ever read and doing bad art that no one ever saw. And eventually when I was very old, really cool kids would see me as their shaman or guru and come visit me. And I'd tell them inexcplicable and often stupid things and they would think I was wise and they'd become really cool adults

And eventually I would die, out there in the desert, alone and unmourned but certainly remembered...


Khash.
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likesmountains 52 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 07:07 PM
Response to Original message
13. never could make it last more than a few hours though...
but when my children were young and being married was more lonely than being alone, I would often drive off with a good book and just find a place to park and read. I can't really recall anyone asking me where I'd been.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 07:12 PM
Response to Original message
14. my brother got married in 1986 at the age of 21
I was working my first job in Utah at the time. I took a week off and went back "home" for his wedding. He spent most of the week running around drinking with his friends.
He told me later that he was thinking about asking if he could goto Utah with me instead of getting married. I probably would have tried to talk him out of it.
He is still married, with two kids, but it seems to have been a mixed blessing.
I also felt like he never had a chance to live on his own. He went from being at home to being married. Obviously the latter is alot more work, but alot of the difficulties are also faced by single people, paying bills, cooking your own meals, etc. He never got to compare being an adult on his own to the adult married life.
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xmas74 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-04-05 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
15. Yes.
Two months before I was supposed to get married. I ran off (planned it out for two weeks) and I did not go back. After a few days, I let everyone but him know where I went to. I went out and got a restraining order against him (abuser).
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