Jesus Freaks trolling my neighborhood right now. I'm not answering

[xultar]

the door when they come a knockin! :hide:

[fertilizeonarbusto]

1. Do what I do

Answer scantily clad, if at all.

[xultar]

24. That'd make'em run for the hills! I've got piercings & tattoos! n/t

[Az]

2. There is also the black mass door answer option

Show up at the door wearing a black robe and tell them you are in a hurry because the sacrifice is squirming too much.

[TNDemo]

4. That's great!

I am going to have to remember that one.

[xultar]

25. That would be the one I'd choose. I like this and I have a black robe! n/t

[DS1]

3. Got a KISS makeup kit?

Black candles?

[katmondoo]

5. The last time

they came to my house I threw them off with anti Bush rhetoric. They scooted away in shock that some one actually hates the asshole.

[Taverner]

38. Interestingly enough

I went into a anti-Bush rant and the Jesus Freaks actually agreed with me. Turns out they were Jehovas Witnesses - and unfortunately they are not allowed to vote.

[Wwagsthedog]

6. Don't be so mean.

Invite them in for a bloody mary but only on that condition. Of course, you may have to clean up the burnt crosses tomorrow.

[Misunderestimator]

7. I would spread a bunch of gay literature on the coffee table and

invite them in for some coffee.

Not really... I'd just say "I'm not buying what you're selling. Seeya!"

[xultar]

26. Tee hee hee! n/t

[artfan]

8. Really Mess with them

be nice and ask questions

which is more relevant new testament or old

where in the new does it say gay is bad

do they wear mixed fiber clothing

etc.

[Mutley]

9. They came around my neighborhood

on the day before Easter. I didn't answer.

[xultar]

27. The had the nerve to wring twice! I held firm. I'm glad the dogs are

@ the vet or they'd have gave me away. Plus they saw me drive in the garage!

I really have an excuse cuz I'm on conference calls working in the nude.
:hide:

Oh I guess I'm posting in the nude too! :hide:

[Mutley]

35. heehee

When they knocked on my door my dog went nuts. i'm sure they knew i was home. who cares?

[BikeWriter]

10. You need a sign on your door like mine: "DANGER!"

[xultar]

28. DANGER! God's already stopped by. n/t

[BikeWriter]

37. I leave it to their imagination what to be afraid of.

[Blue-Jay]

11. Answer the door naked and holding a big knife.

That usually works.

[xultar]

29. I have piercings that will wake them up. n/t

[bobthedrummer]

12. We get Mormons in 2 person bicycle teams sometimes

I don't hide from them or the rainbow coalition of cultists either.
I usually quote Holy Scripture to support my own spiritual beliefs, but the First Amendment doesn't prevent some organized religious folks from wanting to do me harm, lol.

[renaissanceguy]

13. Tell them you belong to a REAL Christian church

not one with a bunch of fanatics who are bringing about the end of the world.

http://www.cafepress.com/liberalissues.21272015

[xultar]

32. I like that bumper sticker in your post! n/t

[RubyDuby in GA]

14. This works for me:

It's right above my doorbell.

[BikeWriter]

18. That's a great one!

[rooboy]

15. Welcome them in and tell them...

that the Amway meeting will be starting in about half an hour.

[Zuni]

16. JW's or Mormons?

[ET Awful]

17. are they handing tickets out for God? n/t

[Sydnie]

19. Print this out

http://www.oldamericancentury.org/14pts.htm and tell them you would be glad to take their literature if they will take yours.

Works everytime!

[tigereye]

21. we just get Jehovah's Witnesses

I usually tell them that I am a secular humanist ( I'm not, but) and that confuses them. Then I politely send them on their way.

Never had the other type of fundy at my door.

[edbermac]

20. Tape a sheet reading '666' on your door....

:woohoo:

[bobthedrummer]

22. Just imagine that it's General Boykin's US Crusaders in their BDU's

with their air cover neutralizedO8)

[RebelOne]

23. Every couple of weeks the Southern Baptists

go on a recruiting campaign in my neighborhood. I just flat out tell them I am an atheist. That usually does the trick. Sometimes if I'm lucky, they will pass up my house when they see my Rottweiler at the window.

[yardwork]

30. I usually hide. One day I hid behind the door

while they talked to my two year old. "Is your mommy home? Go get your mommy?"

After that I realized I was setting a bad example to my kids by hiding, so now I answer the door and tell them politely that I already have my own spiritual beliefs. For some reason this works.

[Mary in KC]

31. Do What my friends did in Salt lake City

when the missionaries came around they had one of their kids walk through the living room with a cigarette and one with a can of beer.

Or you could just go to the door naked. That works pretty well.

[youthere]

33. This is from another DU poster...

from a thread awhile ago...
tell them you're allready going to heaven because you have a coupon.

[stellanoir]

34. tell 'em

that you don't discuss the Bible with anyone who's not completely fluent in Hebrew and Aramaic because all the translations are totally lame and inaccurate.

That always shuts them up.

[Zenlitened]

36. They're trying to recruit people to their lifestyle.

That's part of their agenda, isn't it? :eyes: