Alright You IT Tech Support SCHMUCKS - LISTEN UP!!

[matcom]

its bad enough that i have to call you in the first place but look, i'm no corporate Firewall expert. having said that, your automated system places me in the phone que from HELL (of course the estimated ONE MINUTE time you give me turns out to be more like TWENTY)

anyhoo, i digress

could you AT LEAST have the fucking DECENCY to NOT have your on hold music be a CHEESY PIANO version (looped btw) of NIGHTS IN WHITE SATIN???? :argh:

:grr: :argh: :grr:

now, when they finally DO pick up, what are the chances of me being transferred to BOMBAY? :argh:

:grr:

</rant>

[swag]

1. Who are you calling?

Cisco? E-Soft?

[matcom]

2. Watchguard

still on hold :eyes:

[swag]

4. Ugh.

That's a death that's worse than fate.

Good luck, man.

[Dob Bole]

3. I can't control it!!

Our music comes from....THEM!!!

[meegbear]

5. I think Watchguard is still US

Microsoft is all India.

[GOPisEvil]

6. Dude, let's quit our jobs and move to Mexico!

Let's reclaim our souls! :D

[ET Awful]

7. Hey! Not all us IT schmucks are like that.

I at least have the common decency to insult you to your face before I tell you I can't do anything to help you :).

[baldguy]

8. Twenty minutes? You should feel LUCKY!

[matcom]

9. THEY PICKED UP!! THEY PICKED UP!!

I'm on the phone with INDIA!!! YYYYYAAAAAYYYYYYYYY :eyes:

[SheepyMcSheepster]

10. I used to work at a call center

it absolutely sucked.
you are getting calls all day long, your breaks are timed, they are watching you always, people are rude and pissed because they've been on hold forever.

i worked for a company that provided support for another company, the company i worked for could care less about fixing problems, they made money taking lots of phone calls. taking lots of phone calls doesn't require that you fix anything. basically i was encouraged to blow customers off.

it was so rediculously stupid i would go out of my way to thoroughly help customers just out of spite.

oh and another thing, the reason the call center was built in my area was because of the area's low standard of living. they could pay us dirt cheap. i think i was making 7.50 to 8 dollars an hour doing this work. at the time it was the only IT job i could get. thank god it is over.

[matcom]

11. ouch!

that sounds like pure hell. glad you got outta there!

[SheepyMcSheepster]

22. one of my favorite calls:

m'am is your caps lock key on?

answer: I think so, the keyboard is in all capital letters....

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Hey. It could be worse...you could be calling Panasonic's fax help line

only to find out that to get any tech help you have to call a 900 number at 2.99 a minute...unless, of course, you are a platinum member (whatever that is) spending $50 a year on a membership for a help line...grrrrrr. I still don't have my fax set up right. :argh:

[Richardo]

13. ....hm hmmm hmhmhmm, never reaching the end....

....letters are written, never meaning to send....
:crazy:

Now you've done it... :mad:

[matcom]

14. LOL!!

now imagine it being played REEEEAAAAALLLLL slow on a cheap Casio electric piano :grr:

[underpants]

15. Did you hear that Constantine got voted off?

Nights in White Satin? Blech! I'll bet Constantine could have done it better.

I do remember hearing (this apparently was a selling point to some) that the lead singer WEPT after recording that song.

[matcom]

16. i wept too

for more than 20 fucking minutes this morning

[underpants]

18. Always hit ZERO

Never ever even start on phone prompts.

Oprah said so.


Seriously (if you can do it) hit zero and tell the operator what you need. Be nice and even turn on the charm and you be amazed at how many short cuts they will find.

[matcom]

19. there are no ZEROS in India

didn't you get the memo? :D

[underpants]

20. Reminds me of a tech call the Hewlett Packard

Since I was on the phone with both ______ and _____ for so long (I forgot their names) I made small talk.

I asked about the tsunami-the second guy said that fortuneately their office was on high ground so it didn't get damaged.....what about were you live? Oh that? that was completely destroyed

Didn't miss a minute of work.

[Bridget Burke]

21. Actually, Zero was invented in India...

In a queer way the concept of 'Zero' or Shunya is derived from the concept of a void. The concept of void existed in Hindu Philosophy
hence the derivation of a symbol for it. The concept of Shunyata, influenced South-east asian culture through the Buddhist concept of Nirvana 'attaining salvation by merging into the void of eternity'

http://india.coolatlanta.com/GreatPages/sudheer/maths.html

Whether or not the mystic concept above is true--& the Arabs distributed the concept to the rest of the world.

[Squeech]

17. Once upon a time

I was a systems programmer on a mainframe, and I had to call IBM for support. I will say in their favor that they didn't keep you on hold for long. But what happened was, you'd talk to a guy who basically knew where the on/off switch was, and explain the problem to him. If he thought he knew what the problem was, he'd suggest it, and you'd have to tell him that you already tried it. Then he'd take notes about your case and tell you'd he'd refer you to "Level 2," who'd call you back-- probably the next day, unless you told them it was a mission-critical emergency. Level 2 was staffed with people who knew how things really worked, but they tended not to divulge anything really valuable, just enough to get you running again-- and you couldn't call them directly, you could only contact them through the same boneheads you'd spoken to the first time. (If they needed to see a dump of your system, they'd give you a mailing address so you could send them the dump tape.)

And you know what? I don't think they ever actually solved my problem.

But Oracle was worse. My officemate was regularly on hold *all afternoon.*

[matcom]

23. LMAO!!

i have believed for years that IT support was a huge scam operation. this confirms it