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Wanted killer funny W jokes ...Crude & Rude no problem

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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-20-03 11:53 PM
Original message
Wanted killer funny W jokes ...Crude & Rude no problem
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-20-03 11:59 PM
Response to Original message
1. W *is* a Joke...He makes Dan Quayle look like a frickin GENIUS
Edited on Tue Oct-21-03 12:07 AM by KeepItReal
Here's some of his Perles of Wisdom:

"Medical liability reform is a national problem that requires a national solution. The House has passed a good bill. It is stuck in the Senate. Senators must understand no one has been healed by a frivolous lawsuit in America.
-- Manchester, New Hampshire, Oct. 9, 2003 "

"There was a poll that showed me going up yesterday, not to be on the defensive. Actually I'm in pretty good shape politically, I really am. I didn't mean to sound defensive. But I am. Politicians, by the way, who pay attention to the polls are doomed, trying to chase opinion when what you need to do is lead, set the tone.
-- Washington, D.C., Oct. 14, 2003 "

http://www.dubyaspeak.com/freshdubya.shtml
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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 12:05 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Agreed but i'm looking for jokes to send to everyone in my email contacts

Humor is a great weapon & a great way to start conversations with those who may like the idiot son
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KeepItReal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 12:09 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Check out: www.dubyaspeak.com
Most of his quotes will make you laugh (or cry)....
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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. Cheers

:toast:
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moof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 12:01 AM
Response to Original message
2. thought this was funny but,
the lounge is being pretty tough tonight.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
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moof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 12:40 AM
Response to Original message
6. here's one from a couple days ago
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RandomKoolzip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
7. How do you know Dick Cheney is lying?
George W. Bush's lips are moving.


Get it? I love that one....
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sasquatch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:18 AM
Response to Original message
8. Here's a good one
GWB, Cheney and Rumsfeld are going on a nice summer drive to pick up pot, cocaine and LSD. Along the way to the dealer their car breaks down on a fairly decelent place except for the farm that their car broke down in front of. They knock on the door to ask if it's ok to stay for the night but under one rule:NO ONE COULD SLEEP WITH HIS DAUGHTER. They nodded in agreement to the farmer's rule and went into the guest room to get some sleep.

In the middle of the night Cheney needed to get some moonshine out of his system and went to the bathroom. Along the way he spotted a 5'9" tall, large breasted blonde, wearing a silk nighty and watching tv. Cheney asked her "hey ya' wanna do it with the worlds most powerful man". She nodded yes and took off her nighty. Rumsfeld was awakened by the noise in the living room and seen what was happening. He asked the girl "do you wanna sleep with the commander of the worlds greatest millitary"? She nodded yes and Rumsfeld joined in the fun. George was frightened by the noise coming from the living room and had to go see what was going on. When he saw what was happening he screamed"ME TOO, ME TOO" and forced his way into the gang bang uninvited. The farmer heard the noise grabbed his shotgun and caught the men screwing his daughter. He pointed his shotgun at them to stop and ordered his daughter to tie them up and leave them there for the night.


The next morning he woke the men up, untied them and told them to go pick three of thier favorite fruits. Cheney returned with three oranges and the farmer told him to bend over. When he bent over the farmer shoved the oranges up Cheney's ass. Cheney lied down on the floor screaming and crying in pain. Rumsfeld returned with three lemons and like Cheney had them shoved up his ass. Rumsfeld immeadietly doubled over in hysterical laughter. Cheney asked him "aren't you in pain?" Rumsfeld awnsered "yes, of course". Cheney asked "then why are you laughing?" Rumsfeld awnsered "because George is out there picking watermelons".


:evilgrin:


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sleipnir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:28 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. HA! A good twist on an old favorite!!!
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corarose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:38 AM
Response to Original message
10. I have an old one
I stuck up for Bush yesterday.
Someone told me that Bush was floating down the Chicago river and I said SHIT DON'T FLOAT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What's the difference between Bush and a can of shit?
The can!
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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:43 AM
Response to Original message
11. Thanks for all the jokes & links. Love this place
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:44 AM
Response to Original message
12. The Sickest Joke Ever??
This one actually won some English prize..

Two red-neck hunting buddies are out in the woods, trying to do most damage legally possible to the local wild-life. One of them spots a stag posed on a ridge, pulls out his rifle and is ready to pull the trigger, when - BLAM - he keels over with a massive coronary.

His best friend whips a cell phone out of his pocket, and dials 911. As soon as the dispatcher answers he blubbers "My best friend was taking a bead on a twelve-point buck, when he turned blue and dropped dead! Oh my God, my best friend is dead! What should I do now?"

The dispatcher has been trained to deal with hysterical people. "Calm down, sir, and take a deep breath. Now make sure that your friend is really dead".

BLAM!!!!

"Okay, he's dead. What do I do now???"



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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 02:08 AM
Response to Reply #12
15. LOL ! The post below this may be the sickest ever
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Beaker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 01:58 AM
Response to Original message
13. How does W know when Laura has her period?
Karl Rove's dick tastes funny.

(p.s.- it also works if you replace "her period" with "diarreah")
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sleipnir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 02:00 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. Which Laura !!!???? Ughhh....Disgusiting but hilarious
Edited on Tue Oct-21-03 02:00 AM by sleipnir
Dr or Mrs
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LibertyorDeath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 02:09 AM
Response to Reply #13
16. On that note welcome to DU ! Beaker
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moof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 02:42 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. Yikes o Rama Beaker, Welcome &
When you say Carl's dick are you meaning to refer to Cheney ?

Just seems like there is another joke lurking in there.
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corarose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 02:45 AM
Response to Reply #13
18. Yukhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
You could replace Rove with Tweety's name.
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Jeff in Cincinnati Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-21-03 06:51 AM
Response to Reply #13
19. Yikes!
You win!
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