Headlines We'd Like to Read, April 21, 2005

[skip fox]

Bush Loses Focus Daily

[skip fox]

1. Bush Drops Hot Steamy Load At Speech!

[underpants]

2. (Actual Headline) Rice Shows Teeth in Chilly Russia Trip

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/russia_rice_dc

[skip fox]

4. teeth teeth gap teeth teeth

[Zuni]

3. Frist mauled by fearsome army of cats

[VOX]

9. Oh, I like this one!!!

Good one, Zuni! :thumbsup:

[Zuni]

15. It would be justice served

[skip fox]

5. Al-Quaeda Cells Found On Neo-Con Payroll!!

yikes!!

[HughBeaumont]

6. Six More Marines Die in Vietraq; Bush and Cheney Toast With Blood Goblets

Novak Considers Time "Noveau Liberale" for Putting Hermaphrodites on Their Covers
2005-06 Mass Job Offshoring to Continue Amidst Peals of Hearty CEO Laughter
Should-Have-Been-President Kerry Urges Americans to Be Aware of the Felons They Elected
Pope Benedict XVI Ridiculed Heavily By Fellow Cardinals; "Homeslice Ain't No XIV, Yo"
Greenspan Purchases Clue, First in a Decade
UN Nominee/Sissy Bitchass Bolton's Face Turns Purple with Fuming Anger
Condoleeza Rice Found to Turn Pre-Schoolers to Stone
Paris Hilton And Nicole Richie Are No Longer Friends And Who Fucking Cares
Hybrid Car Owners Could Pay More Gas Tax; Big Oil Men Flash Iron Alloy Testicles To Press

[skip fox]

10. Jesus, Hugh!

Fantastic.


These read like futuristic novels, or rather like a character in an alternative-universe novel scanning the headlines down at the alternate newsstand.

:toast:

[HughBeaumont]

13. "The Painfully Sarcastic Tribune"

:headbang: :patriot:

[skip fox]

14. sounds like you do some writing as well . . .

I write mostly poetry, publishing in little mags, and have a few small press books. Not much for 58 years on planet, but boy . . . (As Charles Olson said, it's in such activity--as writing poetry, doing art, etc.--where we come most fully forth.)

[BlueIris]

7. Another Five Point Drop For Bush.

He'd be recognized as one of the lowest-approved presidents ever, then. Down into the thirties. And at least then, they'd have to decide. Fold and try again under Rice/Frist, or go forward. Then, there would be no more waiting. And we would see what we would see. I'm sorry, this post was probably supposed to be funny, but I'm not in a funny mood today. At all.

[VOX]

8. "I lied to the American people, and I am resigning as your President."

"Vice President Cheney, also implicated in the cover-up, will also be resigning, as Will Secretary of State Rice and Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld."

I feel like dreaming BIG today. :)

[skip fox]

11. Isolated, Mutant Gene, Scientists Dup "Bush Strand"

:toast:

[skip fox]

12. Number 1 On Bush's I-Pod: "Get Along Little Doggie"

For those with a memory and some age to let it expand in.

:toast:

[youthere]

16. Bush, Cheney, Rove, and Hughes

indicted on treason, fraud, and vote tampering, Kerry to assume presidency.