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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 12:49 PM
Original message
Short courtships equal long marriages
I think we all know some people who met in grade school, dated all through high school, kept up their romance in college, were madly in love through graduate school, courted for several years after school, got married, and three years later were standing in divorce court arguing over who gets the kids.

I met my wife on February 20, 1993, proposed on February 22, 1993, got married on April 17, 1993, and we are celebrating our 12th anniversary today.

(And no, I really DON'T hope a kid dies and I work very hard to maintain a safe department and ensure one doesn't even get a scratch...but unfortunately that's what it's gonna take to get these idiot parents to wake up.)
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
1. May you have MANY more anniversaries
to celebrate your love!


congratulations


aA
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
2. Happened that way for us, too. Met in July,
married in February, 23 years ago!
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China_cat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #2
17. Sounds like us
met in July, married in Feb. 31 years ago.

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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. Um... not quite getting your meaning
Edited on Sun Apr-17-05 12:53 PM by supernova
I don't know what school sweethearts have to do with parents and a safe department? :shrug:

edit: Happy Anniversary, though! :D
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 01:36 PM
Response to Reply #3
9. Note this (locked) thread
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jmowreader Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 03:40 PM
Response to Reply #3
16. Yesterday I started a thread...
in which I said I hoped a kid got killed in someone's store by falling off a cart, so we'd have "proof" that letting them ride hanging off the fronts of shopping carts is dangerous. It was one of the more vicious threads you'll ever read if you don't know that the guy who started the thread worries about crowd safety 24 hours a day.

You'll love this one: just after I started, I was trying to get a kid out of the pressure-treated plywood. At the time it still had arsenic in it, and there's always an extremely slight danger that a cantilever could break and squish someone. So I pointed at this wet spot on the wood--pressure-treated lumber comes in wet because of how it's made--and asked the child if he knew what it was. "Uh-uh." 'It's blood from the child that was squashed yesterday when this stack of wood fell on him.' The kid jumped up and ran so fast he ran smack into a stack of vinyl siding across the aisle from the wood in question. The operations assistant manager saw this; I swear I never saw her laugh so hard.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. LOL!
I can just see that. I agree with you, though. I have seen kids ride around like that, and it makes me cringe. Don't people know how soft little kids' heads are?
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Maine-ah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 12:55 PM
Response to Original message
4. I met my husband in 1987, in jr. high school
we dated shortly in highschool. Two years after highschool, we hooked up again, lived together for 7 years and got married. We have now been together for 10 years total.

My sister, had a short courtship, got married, and after 18 years of marriage, two kids, is now divorced.

So, I couldn't tell you if courtship matters or not. I think alot of people don't understand that marriage is work, and divorce is too easy to get. I think communication with your SO is what makes it work.

JMHO.
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kedrys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
5. Same here
Met at work in October (I was a contractor and the s.o. was full-time), dated for a whole 4 months (mostly off), decided to get hitched on February 3rd, got to the judge on time on Valentine's Day 9 years ago, and been at it ever since. :)

Congratulations to both of you on your anniversary! :woohoo:
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tjdee Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
6. If you have the right person, why wait?
That's what it is...I don't think it has to do with courtships.

I think the reason those people in high school romances that turn into marriage(like you were talking about) end up like that is because who they want at 13 is not who they want at 30.

It's all about the right person.
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Ernesto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
7. Doinked my wife the night I met her
Been married nearly 20 years.
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qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
8. Hmmm my wife and I "lived in sin" for seven years or so. Actually,
we mostly married so she could get health benefits.
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ayeshahaqqiqa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 02:00 PM
Response to Original message
10. Happy anniversary
I met my beloved at a Sufi camp, and it was love at first sight. The only reason we waited a week to marry was that we had to go back to our respective states, I had to finish work and resign, and then move to his state! We've been together for 16 years this Memorial Day.
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qnr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 02:12 PM
Response to Original message
11. I forgot - Happy Anniversary!
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 02:40 PM
Response to Original message
12. She and I met on September 13, 1975
Moved in together in January 1976.
Married October 1, 1977.
Will be divorced sometime this Spring after 27+ years.

congratulations on your anniversary.
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Technowitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
13. For some folks perhaps... but as a rule?
I met my same-sex spouse in online, in a mailing list to which we belonged.

Two months later, that led to hours-long phone calls, but we lived on opposite sides of the country, so even meeting in-person presented a challenge.

A year later, I'd decided to move to the west coast, and her place was along the way, so I stopped in for a couple days. She came with me, to help out -- and that was when I found out that in-person, she was as wonderful and loving as she'd been online and on the phone.

Three months after that, we were all but inseparable. And about 9 months after that, we bought a house together.

Eight months later, we finally solemnized our vows, on the Winter Solstice.

Eight *years* later, we are still together. And more in love than ever.

Sometimes a long courtship can also result in a long marriage. Just sayin'.

-Technowitch
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 03:22 PM
Response to Original message
14. Sounds like us.
I met my husband on May 23, 1997, we were engaged within three weeks, and we were married on August 23, 1997, exactly three months after meeting.

We're still going strong nearly eight years later, and that includes the ups and downs of a blended family (my oldest was ten when D and I got married) and having our own children (now five and three).
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DrDebug Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
15. Amazing story
Happy Anniversary. I guess there wasn't a single doubt since the moment you've seen her. May you have many prosperous and happy years to come!

Cheers :toast:
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neebob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
18. Glad it worked out for ya
Edited on Sun Apr-17-05 03:57 PM by neebob
Kinda proves that it comes down to pure dumb luck, doesn't it? Still, I think a slower approach works best for most people.
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skygazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
19. Happy anniversary
But I have to say I've known plenty of people who got married after a short courtship and divorced, too. I don't think it's the length of time you date, it's what you're willing to put into the relationship. My ex parents in law met in second grade - she was the first (and only) girl he ever kissed (and vice versa) and they were together until the day she died. And when she died, he began to die. A year later, they were together again.

At any rate, sounds like the two of you found the right person. That's beautiful.
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Apr-17-05 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
21. Sorry, I'm going to disagree. That's a blanket statement and I disapprove.
Glad it's worked out for you...so far. My marriage to MrG-after knowing each other since were were 12, dating for four years, and then marriage for almost 9 (surpassing your three years later thought)- is pretty damned strong...because we knew what we were getting into. None of us can claim success, until they are tossing dirt on our coffins and our spouse is standing at graveside.

My whirlwind romance? I left him three days before the wedding, thank GAWD!

I find your comment smug. I'm sorry.
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