My friends are expecting twins in 8 wks and are cracking me up.

[Bouncy Ball]

They are first-time parents, both in their mid-30s, been married for 12 years, but put off kids, then grappled with infertility (they are in vitro babies). Everyone is THRILLED for them. They are fraternal twins, fertilized separately.

We had their shower this past weekend. The dad to be is the one really cracking me up. Before the shower, he kept saying "two babies don't take up that much space." And I kept telling him it's not the babies, it's their CRAP. They live in a 900 square foot, two bedroom, one bath home. I said "Wait until after the shower, when we drag all that crap back to your house and look at it then." Did I mention they are packrats? There is not an inch of closet space left in the house. They've managed to make the second bedroom into a nursery, but there is still a curio cabinet, a huge recliner and a drafting table with PC and junk on it in that room. They don't know where that stuff's gonna go.

Well, we got the stuff they received from the 60 guests. We hauled it into their house. He had a minor panic attack. You literally couldn't fit it all in there. We made paths to walk through. Some stuff is piled up on their dining room table. And they kept their registry only focused on very practical items--nothing too big or bulky, nothing unnecessary.

Then yesterday they had another ultrasound. when the doctor told them "it looks like eight weeks and they'll be here" he turned about eight shades of white. Got dizzy and had to sit down, drink some cold water. The reality of it all was hitting him hard.

When they got home, he started doing stuff like a mad man, cleaning things, moving stuff around. His wife said he was bug eyed the entire day. Hardly spoke. On the plus side, he did get a lot done he had been putting off.

I just don't think there's any way you can TOTALLY prepare for something like that. Especially TWO babies. She's been pretty realistic all this time, but he's been going along blithely laughing off all the warnings about sleep deprivation, etc. (He is going to be a full-time stay at home dad after she goes back to work when they are three months old.) I told him when he's home with them full-time he is going to need to develop some kind of network of adults to talk to in order to save his sanity. "Oh" he said "no I won't! I'll be fine!" and he laughed.

I'm sure he'll be fine, but.....eh. Those of us with kids are probably obnoxious to those about to have them anyway. I just don't want it to be TOO much of a cold shock to him. He seems to have this idea he'll just sing songs to them all day and he even said "it'll be easy taking care of two babies." He thinks they just sleep constantly.

[Historic NY]

1. Sound like you need to sign them up for one of those home clean out shows.

Just imagine all those diaper changes and bottle feedings.

[Bouncy Ball]

2. "Clean Sweep" yeah, I told them that.

She watched it and said "we need that."

I told them newborns go through 8-10 diapers a day. Times two means 16-20 diapers every 24 hours.

YIKES!

She is nursing, though. They have bottles, too, and a pump, but at least the first few months, no formula, so that will save them some money.

The biggest things they asked for on their registry were diapers and wipes.

[Historic NY]

4. Yup thats the one and step on it.....................

[KitchenWitch]

20. Nursing saves money on formula

but make sure she is aware that she will need to eat more big people food to keep up with twins...so the actual grocery bill may take a bit of a hit (not as bad as formula though)

[Bouncy Ball]

26. Yeah, she knows.

I also warned her about fluid intake. The poor girl is getting hit by so much advice coming from so many directions...LOL

I warned her about post-partum depression, also. I had a moderate case and it wasn't diagnosed, lasted the first whole year. Ug.

[tjdee]

3. Wait till they're mobile!

It's one thing, about being little and sleeping a lot (at weirdo times) but once they start moving around...poor guy. He's going to need lots of support, especially if he's already gotten dizzy and turned eight shades of white!

[Bouncy Ball]

6. Oh God, I know. I didn't want to totally scare the shit out of him

so I haven't even MENTIONED mobility yet. I remember those days and a crawling, toddling kid seemed so far off, I couldn't imagine it, so I'm sure they can't either.

They have two dogs, one is 50 pounds, one is 65 pounds. One for under each highchair, LOL, no need to mop the floor.

They have a VERY old house and the electrical outlets are a nightmare. They are going to need to do some serious baby-proofing.

[madaboutharry]

5. Get the copies of books "The Life Laundry"

at Amazon or Barnes and Noble. They can also watch the show on BBC America. It will really help them understand that they have to get rid of their crap first so they can make room for the new crap!

[Bouncy Ball]

7. I tried, I tried, I tried.

I actually have helped to paint the nursery, clean their place up, and I went through a lot of their crap with them. Her stuff, she yells "NO!" His stuff, he yells "NO!"

And they HAVE a storage unit they pay for too!!! That's FULL!

I figure the BEST solution for them is to bring those babies home. They'll be getting rid of shit fast.

[blue neen]

8. Are they signed up for birthing classes?

Those might help to make him a little more aware! :)

[Bouncy Ball]

9. Yes, and she's going to try to go natural.

The birthing classes are what convinced her she should try to nurse and I think that's good.

It's the little things they don't tell you about in those classes, though.....she dealt with sleep deprivation in her grad school days, but it was the kind where you just stay up for a very long time, then crash for a very long time. I told her it's WAY way worse to sleep for a few hours, be up for an hour, sleep for a few hours, be up for an hour. It's enough to make you lose your mind, and I only had one.

Some things, I think you just have to experience.

[4morewars]

10. He won't last a month.

Two babies is 4 times the work ! I'm not sure how this happens, but it does. Our friends had the exact scenario you described, except that he was already a grandfather.

[Dookus]

25. actually

I'm a twin and my mother said it wasn't twice the work. She had two toddlers, 2 and a half and 1 and a half years old when we were born (and it was a surprise that it was twins).

She said whatever you did for one, you did for the other. And when you weren't "doing" anything for one or the other, we entertained ourselves. Twins keep each other amused.

[Bouncy Ball]

27. WHOA.

She had a 2 1/2 year old, a 1 1/2 year old and newborn twins????

That was one tired woman. True you do for one what you do for the other, and true they entertain each other, but she still had to be extremely tired. I bet those years are a blur.

[Dookus]

28. yep

four kids in three and a half years.

Of course, my grandmother lived with us, so that helped. Plus valium was widely prescribed then.

[Bouncy Ball]

30. LOL.

We have a saying....."Bless her pea-pickin' heart." And thank goodness for the grandmother. Whew. I had ONE and can't imagine two toddlers and two newborns. I was crazy with sleep deprivation.

[trof]

11. They just have no idea.

ONE completely changes your whole entire life, FOREVER.
TWO at once is insanity.
Try and get them in touch with a twins parents group.
We only have one. She's 33 now, so we're past most of the worst.

Our friend has twin girls, now 4, and an older 6 year old girl.
Their house is mayhem.
Good luck to you friends.

[Bouncy Ball]

13. This line of yours cracked me up:

"We only have one. She's 33 now, so we're past most of the worst."

I'm 34. I'd hope my parents feel they are past the worst with me, LOL!

We have one, too. She's 10. They have found a parents of multiples support group, thankfully.

[trof]

14. Just when you think it's over...

That's why I say "most of the worst".
She's happily (pretty much) married with an almost 3 year old son.
But you never know what unforeseen horrors the future may bring.
;-)

[Bouncy Ball]

15. You mean I'm not off the hook when she's 18?

Or out of college?????

:cry:

[sbj405]

12. I live in a 900 sq foot house and I can't imagine

I barely have room for all the CRAP of my two dogs. :-)

[GOPisEvil]

16. I hate, hate, hate to say this because I know where they live.

But they need to sell and get a bigger place. They might have to move to a slightly different area, but they can still live in a pretty cool area. My friends live off 51st St. near the old airport. It's a cool area, and will raise in proprety value as the development continues in that area.

They need a bigger house. Period.

[Bouncy Ball]

18. They know.

In fact, they were going to build an addition to this house, but all the bids came in too high.

They looked for a house in a part of Austin that has slightly bigger homes but they really can't move right now, with things so impending.

So they plan on moving by the time the kids are two.

[GOPisEvil]

22. If they need a realtor, I have a guy.

He's a good friend of mine, and in addition to being a broker, he also teaches real estate classes.

Good luck to them. :-)

[Bouncy Ball]

29. They do need a realtor. PM me his name if you don't mind

and number if you have it. They are going to start looking in about six months, give themselves plenty of time to find something that will work and has decent schools in the area. I'll PM you the area they are looking in, too.

[fudge stripe cookays]

23. I used to live on 51st!

218B, many moons ago.

It sucked on game nights. Those floodlights! Oi!
FSC

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. Oh, Lord. *lol* Keep us up to speed, cause this sure will be funny!

[Bouncy Ball]

19. LOL

Don't worry, I will. They are both the most unmaternal/unpaternal people I've ever known. I don't mean that in a bad way, it's just that neither of them has ever changed a diaper in their lives and they have rarely ever even been around kids since THEY were kids.

My husband and I were the same way, though. You learn.

[GreenPartyVoter]

21. I babysat from the time I was 11, and

I still felt panicky about having my first one. I cried when my mom left after staying with me for that first week. "Don't go mom! I can't do this all alone!"

*lol*

[Bouncy Ball]

32. We didn't want to take our daughter home from the hospital.

We were all alone, no family or friends around, living off-post (he was in the Army) in an apartment complex where NO ONE talked to anyone else.

We were absolutely terrified. When they told me I could go, we just stood there. Stared at her in the car seat. Hemmed and hawed and stalled for a couple of hours. Isn't that sad? LOL

THe good part about that is that the three of us are DAMN close today because it was just us, having to stick together and make it. We developed sort of an "us against the world" feeling that we've had to get over in recent years.

[MissB]

24. I don't think anyone can really effectively prepare

other people for first-time parenthood. And twins? :crazy:

Good luck to your friends. 900 square feet sounds pretty small, especially with packrats as parents.

[BlondieK143]

31. I babysat my cousins after they were born.

My aunt, myself, and my older cousin helped out and for THREE people it was a mess, I couldn't imagine just him doing it alone! He gets MAJOR kudos from me! Be sure to keep the stories coming! :)

[Cush]

33. my cousin has 6 month old twins, plus a 2 1/2 year old

twins are a boy & girl, the 2 1/2 year old is a boy