Porn In Church News Story -- Funniest Quotes EVAH

[GiovanniC]

'Porn' event draws criticism
Westwinds church uses the programs to fight pornography
http://www.mlive.com/news/jacitpat/index.ssf?/base/news-12/1111835104168680.xml

Porter said Wally the Wiener, a 25-foot penis, is not an appropriate teaching tool.

Nor is it right to advise children that "God kills a kitten every time you masturbate," he said.

The site uses the kitty analogy, it claims, in a light-hearted manner. It recommends teens should e-mail each other to keep a lid on raging hormones. "Ask your buds if they killed any kittens this week," the site advises.

The Westwinds Web site links to xxxchurch.com. Porter said that by Friday afternoon, he had spent 15 hours studying the porn site and could not find any redeeming qualities. The billboards, too, offer more harm than good, he said.


I really like this one:

"Pornography is such a huge issue and usually is not discussed in church," he said. "Polls say that 56 percent of men struggle with pornography. We try to hit it head on and get people talking about it."

The other 44 percent either are lying or don't consider it "struggling".

[atommom]

1. Is this for real?

[GiovanniC]

2. Yes, This Is Absolutely True and Real

It's a town in Michigan, and a real newspaper article.

Not Satire.

Not Onion.

[Wickerman]

3. porn-fighters Pete the Porno Puppet and Wally the Wiener.

gotta love it.

[DulceDecorum]

4. Beyond XXXChurch.com

Sadly, it's easer to discuss God with porn stars than pornography with many pastors.

Why? A poll by Leadership magazine found that four in 10 pastors with Internet access had visited a porn site and more than a third had done so in the previous year. Many skeptical pastors said those numbers were too low.

"If 37 percent of our pastors are looking at this," said Gross, "then this is not a subject they're going to feel comfortable with in the pulpit. ... Think about it. What is going through a pastor's mind if he wants to look at online porn before he preaches on Sunday morning? What's that all about?"

Many believers prefer to ignore such questions. Faced with a minister who gets caught with porn, the typical church board will send the offender packing -- quickly. Yet this kind of zero tolerance policy will drive other addicts deeper into fear and denial, said Gross.
http://tmatt.gospelcom.net/column/2004/07/21/

[Skidmore]

5. Ah, lordy. Don't you just feel like you've been trapped

behind the looking glass too long sometimes?

[knitter4democracy]

6. What makes this really funny

It's in Jackson! Man, growing up in Mason, I would never have pegged Jackson for something like that.

I hate the "what do you say to a ten year old" quotes. Jeez, just tell them. What's so wrong with that? If it starts an honest discussion, then good! Stop thinking that silence will keep your kids from experimenting with sex before marriage--that doesn't work.

[GiovanniC]

10. You're Talking About a Town That Has Signs Saying

"Welcome to Jackson -- Birthplace of the Republican Party" at the city limits.

Of course, that was back when the Republican party was progressive, but the morons in Jackson are far removed from those days. They are very Rah-Rah-Bush and very Fundie.

[knitter4democracy]

16. I know!

'Course, maybe the porn thing will be at the prison. ;)

[Hugin]

7. I'll say it's a struggle...

"Polls say that 56 percent of men struggle with pornography."

I've been downloading it like crazy, before it's made illegal.

I'd say now is the time for that abortion you've always wanted
too.

;)

[xchrom]

8. "Polls say that 56 percent of men struggle with pornography.''

i think ''struggle'' is the wrong word.

[charlie]

9. 15 hours, whooo

SpecTACULAR blueballs. Especially if you're already sexually repressed. Hope his wife was nearby. And I hope she's a sturdy sort -- it'd be like getting mauled by a werewolf.

[BreweryYardRat]

12. Oh god...

...can't stop laughing.

[OneBlueSky]

11. if God killed a kitten every time someone masturbates . . .

all feline species would have become extinct centuries ago . . .

[ashmanonar]

13. lol

exactly.

still, those signs are good for a laugh.

http://tinyurl.com/4krzz

[comsymp]

14. "Ask your buds if they killed any kittens this week"

The Gospel According to St. Fark???

Dunno about MI, but I'm pretty sure that inquiring into your acquaintances' masturbatory habits is still a highly efficient way to either get your ass kicked or, at the very least, earn a new, fun, lifelong nickname from your classmates.

OTOH, it's nice to see porn being pulled from the gutter and put in the Sanctuary where it belongs~

ON EDIT: Mods / Admin - since it's Church sanctioned, is it okay to post this here?

[knitter4democracy]

17. Growing up in MI, I can tell you it's an off-limits topic.

I can't imagine any of my older brothers talking about it in high school, even in the locker room. :spray:

[GiovanniC]

18. I'd Say That's the Case Pretty Much Everywhere

[tjwmason]

15. Did they get the irony

"Polls say that 56 percent of men struggle with pornography. We try to hit it head on and get people talking about it."

Maybe I have a sick mind, single-sex boys school and all of that; but that is the most obivous double entendre I have seen for ages.