I need help w/my brother

[Canadian Socialist]

re: SSM.
He has no problem w/SSM. He just doesn't think that a gay couple should be allowed to adopt. I was so angry about his reaction, I hung up on him. But I do love him and now I have to call him back and give him some reasonable arguments why this is not a bad thing. He is a reasonable person, and quite liberal. Please help! BTW, his reasoning goes that gay couples can't naturally procreate. I did bring up the fact that I can't have children, but he blew that off.

[madeline_con]

1. well, for starters...

how many kids are abused and neglected in homes where there are two 'loving parents' of the opposite sex?

Also, homosexuality and pedophilia are two entirely different things.

I'm just trying to point out the idiocy of two of the main points homophobes always come up with...

[stellanoir]

2. kids can only be raised best by a loving environment

never by biology alone. That's perhaps the most cogent point.

[WildClarySage]

3. an awful lot of people adopt precisely because they can't have children.

Besides, there is no connection between sexual orientation and parenting skills...lets face it, kids would rather eat spinach, liver AND onions than think about their parents sex lives. Its insane to leave thousands of kids who could be adopted locked up in a foster care system that can't handle them when there is a huge pool of patient, loving parents who would love to be their moms and dads.

[Smarmie Doofus]

4. I can't follow the argument: what does being able to "naturally

procreate" have to do with suitability as adoptive parents. Isn't that why many ( most?) people adopt? Because they can't naturally procreate?

I think we need more info as it doesn't quite make sense... even as an argument to "shoot down".

[Hosnon]

5. I'd just let it soak in - he's obviously on the right track and once

there is enough real world evidence that homosexuals can raise children just as good as heterosexuals he will probably come around.

I'd play hands off if the risk is that his opinion will be galvanized.

[Lex]

7. There's plenty of real world evidence that homosexuals can raise

children "as good as" heterosexuals.

[Hosnon]

10. Ok - then until it is widespread knowledge of that fact. eom

[Lex]

6. Listen, people are in same sex relationships who ALREADY

had children from a previous hetero relationship are raising those kids just fine.

So just because you 'outlaw' gay adoption doesn't mean that gay people won't be raising their own kids, or help raise a partner's kids, anyway.

Are we going to say that they can't raise their own children? We know already that those children turn out no worse or better than other children in different family situations.

What about single hetero people who want to adopt? Are they disallowed because they can't procreate alone?

It's just a stupid line to draw in the sand--that gay people shouldn't be able to adopt.

[Canadian Socialist]

8. I am very thankful

for all your responses. To be honest, I think I became flummoxed because my brother is so very progressive. His reaction to gay couples adopting just threw me. I did not expect that from him. Really, did not think he was capable. Again, I love this guy. He's my little baby brother! What I now have to deal with is the fact that I told him, as I got more angry, was that I hung up on him. Cause I've reached the point where if I don't like what you're saying, you're gone. But, sigh, with family you have to deal with it.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. Parents magazine had an article not long ago

about a man who found an abandoned baby, and along with his partner, provided foster care for him. Ultimately, they adopted him. What made this article special was the fact that the author didn't make a big deal over the child having 2 dads, though the fact wasn't ignored either. The gist of the article wouldn't have been terribly different if a hetero couple had adopted the baby. It was just an upbeat story about an abandoned baby who lucked out.

[Canadian Socialist]

11. Just so everyone know

I e-mailed this thread to my brother. Hopefully, he will read it tomorrow and check out what I and the great DU people have to say.
thanks to everyone. I sincerely, and gratefully appreciate everything you have done for me tonight. Even though I am one of those elite-liberal communistic Canadians <g>.
edited to add: my parents are very progressive and they are very very senior. (Dad-79, Mum-82 but she'll only admit to "as old as her tongue and a little bit older then her teeth" <heee>.) So I'm thinking that my brother has been too long in a small redneck town for too long. And that may be distorting his critical thinking. I'm just saying.