I am really f*cking frustrated!!!!

[SarahB]

I need to move. My divorce is final 2 months from today. I need to move now as I am beyond exhausted being under the same roof as #$%^& (I dare not say the words). I have the money to move now, but I have yet to find a place that is suitable for both myself and for when the kids are at my place. I actually found someplace perfect last week, waited for the lady to call me back (she never did) and then called her to find out not that someone else rented it, but she changed her mind about moving out of her condo. :grr:

Back in January, I thought I'd be out by March, then some work stuff happened and then I thought I'd be out by April, but then everyone got sick a couple weeks ago which slowed me down. Now, I'm likely looking at May (unless I can get something for mid-April).

God, just shoot me. I NEED MY SPACE!!!!

[ralps]

1. I hope you find something soon SarahBelle

:hi: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :loveya:

[SarahB]

12. Thanks ralps!

I hate being a whiner, but I'm going nuts right now. :crazy:

[libhill]

2. Where ever

You choose, just make sure it's a blue county or state - the red areas will drive you nuts.

[SarahB]

4. I live in Connecticut.

I'm not moving far. We're blue. :)

[RedCloud]

15. Beg to differ!

If enough of us move to a state that is just a few votes from switching we can be difference makers!!! Decide national elections and things like that. Fell the power.

Good luck Sarah!

[Amich]

3. take a weekend break. If you can get away

That is what I had to do. just for a break went away for the weekend it helped alot.

[SarahB]

9. I work most Friday and Sunday nights.

BUT I actually have a gift certificate than I won in this raffle thing awhile back (long story) for a night in a hotel I suppose I could use from Saturday afternoon to Sunday morning. That might be fun (well, if alone, a break anyway).

[Taverner]

5. well you could move in with me and the family

Commute wouldn't be too bad from San Ramon, CA to the Northeast would it?

[SarahB]

6. Yeah, that'd be a little rough.

Thanks though. :loveya:

[DS1]

7. Moving isn't an existence, it's a living hell

that hits some of us about once a year

[SarahB]

11. I know.

I sucks. I haven't had to move in almost 10 years. In my case, it's worth it, but no less a pain the ass. :mad:

[babylonsister]

8. Make HIM

move? :shrug: I hope you find something soon!

[SarahB]

10. I can't.

I already signed away the house and took my share of the equity. I'm the squatter these days.

[Amaya]

13. i hate to say this, but renting in connecticut sucks!

at least compared to other places i've lived.
it took me a while to find the place i've got ... and i don't like it all that much.
if you need some help looking, i'll keep my eye open (you wanna stay in your area, right?)

:hug:

[SarahB]

16. Yeah, same town even.

Thnaks. I saw a few places that looked good in nearby ones, but this really makes it easier with the kids. There's a substantial amount of rentals here compared with some of the other towns, but a lot are in shittier parts (I'm not a snob, I just want to be safe). I have one place that wasn't bad that has openings in May to fall back on if I don't see anything else, but it isn't as good as the other one I saw that fell through. :(

[Amaya]

20. i'll definitely look around for something!

i'm sorry that one fell through, you'll find a place soon, i know it! :hug:

[SarahB]

22. I know.

Thanks. :hug:

I think around the end of May, I'll have a super duper divorce party at my new place. :bounce:

[kedrys]

14. Hang in there!

It'll be over soon. It'll just seem like it's taking forever. :hug:

[SarahB]

18. Yeah, I know.

I thought about this almost 7 years ago when all his shitty behaviors toward me just elevated exponentially! Then other unexpected things happened (like being stupid with a baby oops!) and I was stuck (very stuck- like let's go into a massive depression and want to jump off a bridge kind of stuck) and he just kept on doing whatever the heck he wanted to do.
A year ago, I began to take the steps needed to actually finally move on with my life away from this awful marriage and it's really the darkness before the dawn. I really don't whine much, but I've been through a shitstorm for a long time and I just need it done with. People sometimes wonder why I'm not sad about the divorce. My tears are long cried over him. I just need to be done.

[kedrys]

23. You're getting your life in order with what's best for *you*

Unfortunately, growing pains don't go away just because you keep piling up birthdays. Fortunately, you're strong and your mind's made up. You'll come out in the wash - I have a very strong positive feeling about it. :)

[4_Legs_Good]

17. Can you get a temporary place until you can find something more suitable

for the family?

I know how important getting space to yourself can be!

david

[SarahB]

19. It's possible.

I could live at my dad's, but that doesn't give me any more space. Anyway, it's soon. Very soon. I just had to vent a little.

[Freebird12004]

21. You'll get through this too

The worst really is over and I think that finding the right space to park your boots will feel better than moving a few times. :hug:

[LynzM]

24. Hugs, dude

I hope that something comes your way really soon! :hug: I can't imagine how hard it is for you to stay there right now.

Edited to add that this is the song that came on when I was replying to your post... weird. (translation follows)

Stein um Stein (Stone by Stone)
Lyrics ©2004 Rammstein.

Ich habe Pläne große Pläne
Ich baue dir ein Haus
Jeder Stein ist eine Träne
Und du ziehst nie wieder aus
Ja ich baue ein Häuschen dir
Hat keine Fenster keine Tür
Innen wird es dunkel sein
Dringt überhaupt kein Licht hinein

Ja ich schaffe dir ein Heim
Und du sollst Teil des Ganzen sein

Stein um Stein mauer ich dich ein
Stein um Stein
Ich werde immer bei dir sein

Ohne Kleider ohne Schuh
Siehst du mir bei der Arbeit zu
Mit den Füßen im Zement
Verschönerst du das Fundament
Draußen wird ein Garten sein
Und niemand hört dich schreien

Stein um Stein mauer ich dich ein
Stein um Stein
Ich werde immer bei dir sein

Welch ein Klopfen welch ein Hämmern
Draußen fängt es an zu dämmern
Alle Nägel stehen stramm
Wenn ich sie in dein Leibholz Ramm –

Stein um Stein mauer ich dich ein
Stein um Stein
Und keiner hört dich schreien


Translation ©2004 Jeremy Williams.

I have plans big plans
I'm going to build you a house
Every stone will be a tear
And you'll never move out again
Yeah I'm going to build a little house for you
with no windows no door
It'll be dark inside
No light will get in at all

Yeah I'll make you a home
And you are to be a part of it all

Stone by stone I wall you in
Stone by stone
I'll always be with you

Without clothes without shoes
You watch me working
With your feet in cement
You brighten up the foundation
Outside there will be a garden
And no one will hear you scream

Stone by stone I wall you in
Stone by stone
I'll always be with you

What a pounding what a hammering
Outside it's starting to get dark <1>
All of the nails stand at attention
when I ram them into your body-wood <2>

Stone by stone I wall you in
Stone by stone
And nobody will hear you scream

<1> The verb "dämmern" actually means "to get light (at dawn)" or "to get dark (at dusk)", and as there is no mention of time, it is not clear which is meant.

<2> There is a pun in this line. The verb "rammen" means "to ram". Because of the German conjugation and word order, the line is ended with "ramm'". When connected with the next word Till sings, it becomes "Ramm-STEIN".

[SarahB]

25. Awww dude!

Are you trying to make me cry again?

:yourock:

[LynzM]

34. No!

No crying, just hugs! :hug: Hope you're doin' alright.

[NoSheep]

26. What do you make of that song? It sounds like a horror movie where

some stalker buries someone alive! Am I going nuts or can you see what I'm talking about?

[LynzM]

35. No, I can see that...

And, given who wrote it, I'd say that interpretation is more likely!

To me, it struck me more as an emotional barring in, like "you will belong to me and no one will ever hear about your unhappiness". But I do tend to read to much into things :)

[NoSheep]

50. Yes, I tried to read it in a positive, more figurative way, but wow, it is

creepy. Who wrote it?

[LynzM]

51. Rammstein

Most of their stuff is really, really fucked up. People who listen to it but don't speak german, or read any of their lyrics, and think it's great, really crack me up!

Check out some good translations here: www.herzeleid.com

[redqueen]

27. Oh, man... I'm so sorry!

Here's hoping you find something for mid-April.

:pals:

[outraged2]

28. So sorry

Just yesterday I got out of a situation like that. I hope you can find something soon.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

29. so sorry...

hope it all gets better :hug:

[Redstone]

30. If you are still looking in a few months, let me know

we may be buying the house next door for a rental. We WILL want people with kids (there aren't enough kids in the neighborhood). Pets just peachy as well.

It's south of where you live now, so I don't know if it would work out for you, but keep it in mind. Send me a PM if you want me to tell you if / when the deal goes through and the house is available.

Redstone

[SarahB]

31. Thanks.

We're sharing custody though (with my crazy work/school schedule I have to), so I need to stay in my current area just east of Hartford. :(

[Redstone]

32. Well, you could come down and stay at our house

for a few days to decompress; we have plenty of room and therre are two public beaches in town...wait a minute. I just looked out the window. Nix the beach suggestion.

OK, you can stay inside and have some of Mrs R's Mango Margaritas.

If it will cheer you up to hear this, Mrs R saw a picture I took of you last Saturday in Boston, and said that you're really pretty. And she is a good judge of women's looks. Feel at least a little better now?

Redstone

(PS: It was a good picture of you. I'll post it and the others soon.)

[SarahB]

33. Thanks and thanks to Mrs. R.

Can't wait to see the pictures. :)

[LynzM]

36. Ooh, I was hoping you'd post pics!

Can't wait to see them! :)

[SOteric]

37. Dudette....

Is there some specific reason why he isn't the one hitting the pavement?

[SarahB]

38. He wanted the house more than me and....

I didn't care and preferred the massive load of cash for my share of the equity instead (the high market and his increased income in the last ten years since we bought the house worked well in my favor). I got what I wanted. He got what he wanted, so we're cool there. It's just kind of the darkness before the dawn. Mostly, it's just a few tedious procedural things and me finding something suitable. I'm ok, it's just draining some days more than others.

[SOteric]

41. Well, on the bright side,

you can spring for the pizzas and have a DU moving party to get some help hauling yer stuff when the day finally arrives.

[SarahB]

45. That'd be nice.

I'd better get some good beer too though. :)

[SOteric]

47. Yes.

I'm pretty sure it's not possible to gather more than 4 DUers without beer.

[n2mark]

43. Can't you take the money

and buy a townhouse?

[SarahB]

44. In this market...

It's pretty high. I'm trying to keep as much banked as possible and then when I complete my second degree in two years (upon which my income will more than double), then I'll buy something. I don't want to potentially get locked into something at the moment.

[n2mark]

39. Keep checking around

When I divorced, I checked every area in the outlying towns, found a perfect spot. It was a guest house with two bedrooms. My son had his own room and my daughter had the other bedroom. The living area after bedtime was my space. The children continue to talk about living there as we found a guest house at the foothills of one of the mountains, dirt road, skimpy indoors, but we had a fireplace, a washer and dryer, and no dishwasher, At night we heard the coyotes, the kids saw wildflowers and also wildlife. It was not unusual when we would drive down the road and see a snake cross the road. My daughter learned to love nature and animals while we lived there. Don't laugh, she had several pet turantulas. My son became interested in nature and love to climb the mountains. Actually, it was a pretty little place. We experienced deer in our front yard too. Guess where I lived?, outside of Phoenix, Arizona not more than twenty minutes where I worked. This was several years ago.

Today when I drive out there, it is sad, nothing but homes and stores. No more open land. This is so sad.

I loved driving home from work because the mountains were beautiful shaded from the sunlight. In the winter I could see snow on some of the mountain tops. It was tough, but I do miss the beauty we experienced.

Just hang in there, things will work out. Just do some searching.

I found a remote spot with searching, hope you can find the same.

Not edited.

[n2mark]

40. Don't wait for something negative to happen

make positive happen. Don't let sickness, turn downs, nothing stop you. You find a place and go for it. Take the kids if they are sick, if you are sick push yourself to make the move.

Stuff can't happen, you know that. You need to just take the plunge no matter what. No excuses. If you continue to make excuses, you will never move out. Do you want to move out, if you do, make it happen. You can do it!

[SarahB]

I'm very proactive.

It'll all be ok. Just sort of the end of a very long, long road and I had to do a teenie tiny little vent tonight.

[GOPisEvil]

42. Good luck!

I hope you find a place soon. I went through a similar deal when I was looking to move last year. There was a SWEET place in a great part of town, but no one ever returned my call on it. So, screw 'em, I bought a house for $8 more a month than they wanted in rent. :P

[SarahB]

46. Yeah, it'll be nice to buy something again.

I feel a little frustrated I'm taking a step back for the moment, but all will be well in the end. I'm a very driven person, so it'll ultimately be ok- independently, the way I'd prefer it these days.

[n2mark]

49. Yeah for you!

I don't know you, but I've read some of your threads, you will be okay. You are a survivor.

[Darth_Kitten]

48. I feel for you.

You will get your space. :hug: :D

[ScreamingMeemie]

52. As an appraiser, I usually don't suggest this, but have you thought

about a Co-op? With the housing market about to bust you may just be able to even make money on it in a few years when rates are back up. Good luck Sarahl :hi:

[SarahB]

53. Thanks.

I'm actually waiting for a call-back from a realtor friend of mine and I'll ask her about this (mainly I'm just looking for a rental now and her agency always has decent ones). My big concern right now is that I think the market will bust and if I buy something right now, I'll end up locked into something or lose money (I still remember what happened to a lot of people who bought condos for example in the late 80's and the lost a ton in the early-mid 90's). Once I'm an RN in two years, my income will more than double and then I can buy something much better (hopefully at a lower price than I could get now with everything being so inflated).