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A Rant. Ass Cracks on Parade.

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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:10 PM
Original message
A Rant. Ass Cracks on Parade.
I feel the need to rant. Every single time I go ANYWHERE in public, I'm exposed to ass cracks.

Now, there's nothing wrong with seeing an ass crack you WANT to see; but I'm being exposed to ass cracks against my will everywhere I go.

If you go to the mall, a girl bends over to look at a pair of shoes--and there's her ass crack.

If you go to the post office, a woman bends over to check her mailbox--and there's an ass crack.

In my college classroom, when both my male and female students are seated--asscracks galore.

Why do these people feel no shame when they flash their ass cracks in public? If I accidently exposed my ass crack to another person, I would turn around, blush, and say, "Oops. Excuse me. Didn't mean to flash my ass crack at you."

Can we all just agree that no one should force others to view their ass crack in public, against others' will? Is there anywhere I can go where I won't have to see an ass crack? Is anyone else tired of ass cracks on parade?
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steve2470 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:10 PM
Response to Original message
1. I'm not tired of it yet, but I'll let you know
Edited on Sat Mar-19-05 07:11 PM by steve2470
but yes, the guys' I am.
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fluffernutter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:11 PM
Response to Original message
2. yup. i am tired of it too.
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chicagojoe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:15 PM
Response to Original message
3. I thought this was a John Ashcroft thread,
but yes, too much ass crack around these days. Maybe Congressional hearings are in order.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:17 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Actually, some town or state or other jurisdiction is passing a law...
to ban underwear exposure, and I would assume ass cracks, in public. That's stupid.

Just simple human courtesy should instruct one that their ass crack should be INSIDE their pants, not outside them.

:7
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
5. Hi, Maddy. I'm with Chicagojoe. I thought it would be --
-- a John Ashcroft post also.

My great aunt Laura May would never have stood for public showings of ass cracks. She had a reasonably open mind but she would certainly have drawn the line at public ass crack showings.

I'm with ya.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. OMG...I just remembered...
that I forgot to mail your bumper sticker!!! I promise to put it in the mail tomorrow. (Now where is the emoticon of one slapping one's self in the forehead with the palm of one's hand?!)
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:25 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Hey Maddy. No sweat on that at all.
You have a full plate and I have glimpses from your posts that excellent parenting takes some time. No one should be on your case for providing excellent parenting and if they are, tell me who it is and I'll arrange to have their house fire-bombed.

You rock. Period.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:28 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. I have to go to the post office in town tomorrow....
And I will DEFINITELY put it in the mail to you. And...


YOU rock. Period. :toast:
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:20 PM
Response to Original message
6. A few years ago
I sat behind a guy whose ass-crack was out. I felt the urge to drop the pen I was holding in there.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:22 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. LOL! Or a strawful of ICEE.
I've had those urges, too. :D
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sakabatou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. Or a wire hanger!
Or thumbtacks!
Or H2SO4!
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Feron Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #6
35. Well you could always drop a red hot down there....
maybe the humilation of fishing it out will make the offender think twice about wearing plumber pants again. :D
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
9. Just had this very conversation yesterday
with a couple friends. We went to our local St. Pat's parade and saw more ass cracks than green.

My sister calls this America's serious crack problem. :)
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Warren Stupidity Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:31 PM
Response to Original message
13. Asscrack used to be the exclusive provence of plumbers. NT
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Seabiscuit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
14. Carry putty and a putty knife with you and go to work filling 'em up!
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Pithlet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 07:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. It's that damn low rise trend.
It's almost impossible to go to the mall and find a pair that won't show your ass whenever you bend over. All the shirts are cut short too, so they don't fall low enough to cover the crackage. Of course, if you try hard enough, you can find clothes that will fit, maybe online or in a catalog.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:01 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. LOL @ "crackage."
:7
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Pithlet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:36 PM
Response to Reply #16
23. I'll never forget
Edited on Sat Mar-19-05 08:37 PM by Pithlet
how I flashed my entire neighborhood with pregnant crackage. All the maternity jeans were low rise, which is fine, because maternity shirts usually fall low, and they're quite comfy. Well, I did some gardening in the front yard while wearing a pair. When I planted the last flower, I reached behind me to grab something and realized my pregnant ass had been hanging out for all to see. Apparently maternity shirts don't protect you from bending over double to reach flowers :o
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #23
29. Hahahahaha!
You are toooo funny. :7
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6000eliot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:02 PM
Response to Original message
17. I don't see a lot of ass crack
Maybe I'm not looking closely enough. My students all appear to have their asses chastely covered.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:11 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. You're in NJ; I'm in MS. Maybe it's a climate thing. :D
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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:03 PM
Response to Original message
18. Like this?
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-..__... Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
19. Rant on and ban "ass cracks" if you must... but please help and preserve
Edited on Sat Mar-19-05 08:17 PM by D__S
the Camel Toe!! :thumbsup:


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Ellen Forradalom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #19
26. LOL!
Uh-huh, that's right, uh-huh, oh no!
Fix yourself, girl, you got a cameltoe!
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
21. Crack Kills
RL
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:36 PM
Response to Original message
22. This is such a funny, silly thread!
I am laughing my ass :D off!

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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
24. I know what you mean
I know that when I young, in my teens, I wore parachute pants and put on so many bandanas that I looked like some member of the group Loverboy. I also grew up in the extremely tight pants phase. But at any rate, I don't understand wearing pants around your knees and wearing so that everyone can see your undies. Wierd. However, it is not as bad as this asshat. He gives new meaning to the word thong.

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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #24
30. That is GROSS. Cover the children's eyes! :-)
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CBHagman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 08:52 PM
Response to Original message
25. A true story about this threat to civilization.
A few years back I went to the annual Shakespeare birthday celebration at the Folger Library in D.C. It's a wholesome family event with activities for the kids, Elizabethan music, costumed actors, and cake for everybody.

Well, a father standing next to me lifted one of his kids to his shoulders. He didn't have his shirt tucked in and probably was also missing a belt, because his shirt went up, his pants went down, and a healthy portion of both buttocks was exposed. Fortunately the actress dressed as Queen Elizabeth I wasn't going by at that moment.

Sometimes I feel as though wearing belts and tucked-in shirts makes me part of a dying breed.

People, PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!
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aint_no_life_nowhere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
27. I predict Brit Hume will one day disappear down his own asscrack
We'll see that anal-retentive, butt-clenching, terminally-constipated golden orator on FoxNews as he suddenly begins to shake and tremble until he swallows his entire body down his anal passage, head, arms, legs and all, and disappears into a mathematical point of nothingness. Instant rapture.
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Maestro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 09:54 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. Gawd I hope so.
Every time I see his smug, conceited mug on the TV I just want to throw a brick through the screen.
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Elidor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 09:07 PM
Response to Original message
28. Ass cracks?


"Is there anywhere I can go where I won't have to see an ass crack?"

No.
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Maddy McCall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 09:42 PM
Response to Reply #28
31. He must have had the crack-lowering surgery.
:puke:
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-..__... Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #28
33. There's one tattooist I won't be going to any time soon.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
34. at Gatwick airport in London, in line for fast food
I told the young gal in front of us who was leaning over the counter DO YOU MIND NOT SHOVING YOUR ASS CRACK IN OUR FACES?
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-19-05 11:20 PM
Response to Reply #34
36. i took my kid to a b-day party at a skating rink
a young woman bent over to pick up her or her kid's skates. It was my first experieince with said female ass crackerage ( as someone above put it). I was stunned, so to speak.


as for the thong pic further up the thread, why bother to wear anything at all?
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