I hate being treated like a child

[bugslsu9]

OK, I need to vent here for a minute. I am 27 years old, have a college degree (Geaux Tigers!!!), and work for family. I have been working here for over 3 years now, and have an excellent grasp on the business, and if I may say so, business in general. Unfortunately, my 2 uncles and father still treat me like I am 13 years old. I am constantly being asked, "did you read the email you replied to?" or "did you send that email I asked?" I want to say, yes you fucking tard, you were copied on the damn email and you sent me a read receipt (believe it or not, that happens at least once a day), but I don't.

Why can these people, not look at me and consider me an adult? Quite honestly, the only one who does is the person who has only been here a year. He is the only person I even think about talking to with any kind of idea, because he is the only one who takes it seriously.

What can I do? I have to work, the job market sucks, but I am so sick of this bullshit. Any advice?

[Bertha Venation]

1. I'm sorry, and sympathetic, and I have a question:

At least re: the email crap you get: Is it possible that they just don't pay attention?

[bugslsu9]

2. It's possible

But they are, at least quasi-intelligent people. It is so frustrating

[madison2000]

3. My mother never stops treating me like a child

and I am 48.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. 46 here...Same thing

What's really annoying about it is she's meticulous to the point of being anal, while I'm more impulsive, and sometimes inclined to not think things through as thoroughly as I should.

So she'll occasionally come up with a good thought, which I must acknowledge to be fair; but for the most part, she's pointing out things which are either obvious or absurd.

Ex:
Me:"I'm coming down with a cold."

Her:"Have you been to the doctor?"

Me:"The doctor? Why would I want to spend $75 to have someone tell me I have a cold."

Her:"Oooookay." (inflected with an unmistakable dose of "you'll be sorry")

[TNDemo]

4. They still see you as 13. Because they knew you then.

You have a long history of them being older and wiser and you being young and untrained. They now just need to update their perceptions and that takes awhile. I don't know exactly how you pull them up to the present because I never grew up to my family.

[BR_Parkway]

5. I replied to my father one time in a way that put it to a stop forever

and our whole relationship changed.

I said "I'm really sorry that you don't feel that you did a good enough job raising me to where I could handle this on my own. That must be a terrible burden for a father to live with every day."

He didn't say a word for about 5 mins (and I'm thinking Oh shit, what have I done) and then he started laughing. Said he'd never thought of it that way before - and from that day on he started treating me as an adult (I was 27 and a single dad with 2 kids)

Now that my kids are older, I constantly have to remind myself to let them be the adults I raised them to be. Good luck with it.

[MuseRider]

6. That is great!

I never had to deal with that but I don't think I would have ever come up with a response that good.

Edit to add I must remember this since my boys are 21 and 19 and beginning to deal with adult stuff by themselves.

[bugslsu9]

8. Was it over a personal thing?

Or a business thing?

[BR_Parkway]

10. It was an everything "why don't you..., you should..., have you ever...

I was a single dad (had been for 6 years at that point) and self employed for several years. He just couldn't see beyond me being a 14-15 yo.

I also did several years consulting to other small businesses and your fitting into the family business is not uncommon at all (for whatever solace that provides)

But the "handle" for it all is to turn it back on them - "why didn't you prepare me for this...when you ask/do/say such and such, it plainly says you don't think you did a good enough job" The first ego barrier that I had to get through with the business owner was the "I pulled myself up by my bootstraps, I don't need anyone else's help" the second major one was that every business owner needed to pass on their legacy to their progeny - and none of them had done a good job in preparing the next generation.

[Deja Q]

7. They're family. Mine do the same too.

Humble pie. Can be tasty and you never know.

[Xithras]

9. Pretty typical when working for your family.

You can't expect family to treat you like just another co-worker after they spent years wiping s**t off your butt and watching you make dumb decision after dumb decision as a kid and a teenager. They will always see you as a kid, and treat you accordingly.

This is why I will never, ever, work for a family member again!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. All the posts here have good advice!

I really don't have anything to add, except to say one of these days they'll all see you do or say something that they didn't expect, and suddenly they'll see you as the adult that you are...Hang in there, better days will come. My motto: This too shall pass...

And congratulations again on your 100 posts! Now 105 and rising...

[redqueen]

13. I work for guys like that

and I'm not even related to them.

I'm sorry, but paternalism still runs rampant. I encourage you to shop around in case you can find something more satisfying, but I wouldn't encourage you to get your hopes up. Unless you can find an all-female office, perhaps.

[bugslsu9]

15. I have Plans that I can't really discuss yet

Let me put it to you this way, my family is all republican, I, of course am a democrat. What do you think would piss them off the most? If you can figure it out, you get nothing other than the knowledge of what I may be doing in a year and a half.

[redqueen]

16. I read your post about that earlier!

Good luck!

[Mizmoon]

14. I'm in my 30s and my mother told a service man

that I usually slept until at least noon on the weekends.

I haven't slept that late for at least 15 years, but in her mind I will always be 17-years-old in some respects.