Some Nuggets of Wisdom

[Thurston Howell IV]

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another
--George Bush, Asshole

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca

"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
--Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony.

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next> morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

And finally,
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle, former US Vice President.

[maveric]

1. You've gotta love dumb-shits. I bet most are repugs.

I dont know about Brooke Shields.

[WindRavenX]

2. please tell me this isn't real:

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey


Allow me to go into a corner and cry.

[Thurston Howell IV]

6. I remember seeing this one in the press when she said it

I guess one can never be too rich or too thin, no matter what the circumstances.

[maveric]

3. And this:

"Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a — you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 6,

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2646755?htv=12

[Amfortas]

4. idiocy is always abundant !

[alarimer]

5. Norman Einstein?

Is that Albert's younger brother? The black sheep of the family who became a used car salesman.