Oh LADIES!!!

[matcom]

I am 25, and looking for someone close to my age. I live in Iowa. I love to Fish and hunt. I am a Christian and a Republican. I just joined our youth softball and baseball board of directors in my town. I played football, wrestled, and went out for track in high school. Only played intramurals in college. Love to listen to talk radio, Sean, Rush, Tony Snow, Dr. Laura, Coast to Coast George and Art. I am looking for some one who shares some of my interests. I like to take road trips and hope they do to. Also I hope they like Football because they could go with my family and I to watch the Greenbay Packers once a year. I don't know if I want a serious relationship, but it would not hurt just to meet someone.


http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005

[GOPisEvil]

1. Hey genius, Green Bay is two words.

Why is "Fish" capitalized , yet "hunt" isn't?

:shrug:

[Richardo]

10. "I know that the human being and the Fish can coexist." - GWBush

If W had said "Hunters" I'm sure Mr Right would have, also.

[havocmom]

2. Give him akaGannon's number

quick!

[Jessica]

3. You had me at

"went out for track in high school." :loveya:

[Richardo]

11. LOL!

Too funny, Jessica! :hi:

[Bunny]

14. But does that mean he actually made the Track squad?

Lots of people go out for sports, not everyone makes the team.

[northzax]

38. yeah, I went out for the Olympic Ski Team

didn't even come close, but I went out! does that count?

[BlondieK143]

4. Just what I always wanted!

Not! :puke:

[Scooter24]

34. Oh come on now Blondie...

You know what they say about redheads :wink:

[rooboy]

5. I'm straight, but certainly could be "on the turn" for this mighty catch.

eom

[Orsino]

8. Well, I was *sure* I was straight...

...but I'm questioning everything now that I know such a stud walks the earth.

[rooboy]

13. There are times when you just have to admit...

DAMN, THAT'S HANDSOME!

[RagingInMiami]

6. Green Bay is two words and Someone is one word

[Hand]

7. "...they could go with my family and I..."

Jaysus Effing Xrist... GET A BRAIN, MORAN!

:grr:

[Skittles]

9. he is looking for a dominatrix

I am getting my whip

[Bouncy Ball]

57. I would PAY to watch a smart liberal woman

beat on a (willing) conservative guy.

Seriously. Set up the pay per view. She'd have to also verbally harangue him the WHOLE time and make him say "BILL CLINTON'S MY DADDY!!! BILL CLINTON'S MY DADDY!!!"

I'd pay $50 to see that.

[Skittles]

74. on second thought, I wouldn't waste my time beating him

I'd probably make him clean my cat's litter box. :7

[Texasgal]

12. I like to take road trips and hope they do to

How many dates are you looking for? NERD!!!!

[gollygee]

15. Be still my beating heart

I'll have to warn my husband that he's got competition. :D

[underpants]

16. Hey be nice

What/who does THIS remind you of?



Hellooooooooooooo!

[SarahB]

17. Nope.

For the shear fact he would probably last less than 5 seconds. The other stuff doesn't help much either.

[chickenscratching]

18. well...

at least he likes coast to coast...but what a frightening picture! and what the fuck is up with those stupid fragment sentences!

[AFSCME girl]

19. ARGH! My eyes, my eyes..

:puke:

[DS1]

20. Eh, sounds like a lot of the complaining I hear around here

:shrug:

I'm lonely, but I'm going to stay home and do nothing about it.

[redqueen]

29. Well, not nothing... there's the complaining, after all.

[chickenscratching]

21. read this one! ahhhh!

I am 35 and live in North Alabama. I am a devote Christian and a strong conservative looking for someone with similar beliefs. I love to play the drums, scuba dive, and anything to do with play sports. A perfect date for me would be a walk on the beach and a good meal, with some real "get to know you" quality time in there. A good date could also include just watching a movie on the couch. I am easy going and I don't sweat the small stuff. I am 5'11" and around 185. I have never been married and have no kids.People say I look something like "Stifler" from American pie but I'll let you be the judge:)
I'm a firm believer that the man is the head of the household, so I'm very traditional but not overbearing. I would like to be the man so it allows the woman to do what she does best, be the woman. Life is much smoother this way.:) I would like to think I am very balanced in a lot of areas. I believe you learn the most about someone in 2 ways: work with them on a project and seeing them react under stress. It brings out the best and worst in people.Good judgement, honesty, and humor are a must!

[Jokerman]

22. So, he's into "role playing"

"I would like to be the man so it allows the woman to do what she does best, be the woman."


So he "would like to be the man", glad he cleared that up.

[underpants]

27. Jessica H. seems to be used to that kind of treatment

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/Image2

[Orsino]

39. "Supports Our Troop"

"I'm a passionate Republican who supports our troop and President Bush... going out to upscale lounges and clubs with my friends, becoming immersed in a good book and walking the beaches of Scenic Hwy 30-A."

I'm sure our troop appreciates your work, Jessica.

[flvegan]

31. Another translation:

I am a future wife-beater looking for a good punching bag. I expect to get to second base on the first date. A good date for me is whatever is cheapest and gets me the most "grope time." People say I look like Screech from "Saved By the Bell." I liked the pie-fucking scene from American Pie. Been there, done that. I'm the man and you'll do as I say. Now, shut up, get me a beer, put the pot pie in the oven and get on your knees...

[Ellen Forradalom]

45. AVOID-AT-ALL-COSTS

"I'm a firm believer that the man is the head of the household, so I'm very traditional but not overbearing. I would like to be the man so it allows the woman to do what she does best, be the woman. Life is much smoother this way."

Translation: Life is much easier for me when I get whatever I want, when I want it.

[Missy Vixen]

67. Uh, just throwing this one out here

>I'm a firm believer that the man is the head of the household, so I'm very traditional but not overbearing.<

I've never met a guy in my life that believed in the above, enforced it to the nth degree, and saw himself as anything but "non-overbearing".

In the meantime, he's in Red Alabama but can't find a date? Is anyone else thinking that maybe Mr. "I'm not overbearing, but men should be the head of the home" has some interesting personality quirks?

Julie

[flvegan]

23. Translation:

I am 29, and looking for anyone who will talk to me. I live in Iowa. I am very passionate about killing animals and eating them. I am a fundie, and if you say anything against our Lord and Savior Jaysus Christ, I'll cram an axe handle up your ass. I like to be around little boys and girls. I'm a big guy, and naturally played football and wrestled. I tried out for the shotputter spot on the track team. Couldn't cut it in college sports. I'm into brainwashing, ignorance and intolerance, and seek it out during my free time, which I have a lot of. I like to take road trips, but thus far, most of my dates had to ride in the trunk. They should've listened to me, dumb bitches. They had better like to do things with my family, cuz we'll be living with them forever. I've never had a serious relationship, at least not with anything not inflatable and made from plastic. Nobody that knows me likes me, and I just want to get laid. And no, Sarahbelle, I last lots longer than 5 seconds, thanks to daddy's Viagra. All responders should like oral sex. No, just giving, not getting. Thanks!

[HamstersFromHell]

26. This is scary!

LMAO, we both posted Translations at the same time.

:toast:

[flvegan]

28. Wow, that is scary. Yours is very funny.

[HamstersFromHell]

33. As is yours!

I think we got the typical member over there down pretty well. :)

[swimmernsecretsea]

77. That's better than Babelfish! n/t

[HamstersFromHell]

24. Translation:

I am 25, and looking for someone close to my age.

14 to 75 will do.

I live in Iowa. I love to Fish and hunt.

There's nothing else to do where I live except smell the cow flop and bugger the sheep.

I am a Christian and a Republican.

I am a habitual liar because they are mutually exclusive terms.

I just joined our youth softball and baseball board of directors in my town.

It's the only way kids will play with me. The porkchop around the neck trick only worked with the dogs.

I played football, wrestled, and went out for track in high school.

Made the track team, but never made an event. What is a "javelin catcher" anyway?

Only played intramurals in college.

They had real athletes in college.

Love to listen to talk radio, Sean, Rush, Tony Snow, Dr. Laura, Coast to Coast George and Art.

Someday I hope to have an OxyContin addiction of my very own, but they all know me down at the drug store.

I am looking for some one who shares some of my interests.

Someone to help hold the sheep down so I can kiss 'em.

I like to take road trips and hope they do to.

I don't have a car...you're driving.

Also I hope they like Football because they could go with my family and I to watch the Greenbay Packers once a year.

The rest of the year I pull for the Vikings because it pisses dad off.

I don't know if I want a serious relationship,

I already listen to Fox and Rush, so "honesty" and "the truth" scare me.

but it would not hurt just to meet someone.

I'm tired of the bruising my hand on the bottom side of the computer desk when I slip.

[Arkana]

46. ROFLMfreakinAO

Bravo! That is too funny.

[underpants]

53. The porkchop around the neck trick

WAY too funny

[Love Bug]

25. It'll never work...

I just can't see myself dating someone from Iowa. I mean, I have to have SOME standards!

[WoodrowFan]

30. he could double date with this guy

I mean, I'm the same size as him but I know enough to leave my gut outa the photo!

[Arkana]

41. Wow. What a catch.

:puke:

[Ellen Forradalom]

32. I think this is what he's looking for:

[ProfessorGAC]

35. Major Doofus

No wonder he needs Hannity's website to find a date. Any matchmaking site would end up rejecting him for being too blah and too maleable.
The Professor

[WoodrowFan]

36. I feel sorry for him

poor kid. Maybe he's a jerk in person but he just seems like a lost, lonely kid who spends WAY too much time in his room in Mom's basement.

[chickenscratching]

37. LOOK! hotties

hey men! Well, aside from my fascination with camel toe, i dabble in meth quite a bit....



"I don't do drugs, I like to drink, but not to the point of making a fool of myself. "

[Scooter24]

52. The chick looks like Donatella Versace

only 100lbs lighter :P

[northzax]

40. truth in advertising

I am a 44 year old man who works in sales. I am a new Republican. I live in Brea Ca. No kids , I like kids I just do not have any. My friends discribe me as caring,active,fun,dependable,informed and athletic. My ideal woman is caring,attractive,affectionate and would be between the ages of 35-48 years old. She would live in So. Calf. and be available to go out on dates.

Translation: Look, I'm lonely, won't someone please go out with me? please?

[Bouncy Ball]

59. ROFL!!!

Someone should respond, say they have all his qualifications, then say...."oh wait, OOOPS! I'm not available to go out on dates! Nevermind!"

[SOteric]

42. I don't know how I'm gonna hold myself back...

[calico1]

43. Well, thanks for the good diet aid.

I certainly don't feel like eating my lunch after looking at that! :puke:

[WoodrowFan]

44. one good thing, if you sleep with him

he'll be grateful the rest of his life!

[Bouncy Ball]

60. If he can make it across the room before he...

nevermind. I'm just flashing back to the only republican I dated in college. Ewwwwwwwww.

[fortyfeetunder]

47. good lord

Good thing I got my man from the personals early...this looks like the effing leftovers!!!!

[jonnyblitz]

48. sigh, its no fair all the hot ones are straight.

why do girls get to have all the fun. :eyes:

[WoodrowFan]

49. he looks like he could be "recruited." (NT)

[jonnyblitz]

71. ya think?

I wonder if a toaster is enticement enough.

[Orsino]

50. Why are we not DUing this dating service?

These sad, sad people. Why are their profiles so damned dull? They seem to like watching TV a lot, and spectator sports.

Not one of them seems to like fighting terrorists in Iraq.

[northzax]

51. and you know? for people who hate gubmint

there are a lot of .gov addresses out there. I wonder what the military's policy is on using .mil addresses for personal use on a dating site?

[AuntiBush]

54. Why hasn't he SIGNED-UP for ACTIVE DUTY in IRAQ?

After all, he is behind that War that promotes freedom, and democracy and the Christian agenda, right!?! Maybe he's allergic to OIL and possible DEATH!

[Bouncy Ball]

55. Well HOLD ME BACK!

:puke:

Vomit. Hannity's website has a DATING SERVICE????

ROFL!!!! That's the funniest thing I've heard all day.

[underpants]

56. HEY! Check out these brave warriors for Hannity -TOO FUNNY

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/Destination_Iraq

I'd go back to Iraq in a second but I've suffered a shoulder injury that won't allow me to play G.I Joe anymore.

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/Chillin
I am 23 born, raised and proudly serve in Houston.(TANG)

[HamstersFromHell]

63. I guess the one in Houston...

is waiting his transfer to a unit somewhere in Alabama so he can follow in his fearless leader's footsteps?

[matcom]

64. you left out the BEST PART!!

"....I'd like to hold out for Ann, but I'm a realist. Though, I could see the two of us having the most delightful conversation: one simple, passionate conservative; one sophisticated, radical conservative...Man, I'd love to have dinner with Ann Coulter! If she's not available, I'd be happy to meet someone who identifies with her political id.

[underpants]

66. Darn than danged banged up shoulder

Other than that he would be spreadin' Freedom.........and Ann.

[Orsino]

68. What an @$$hole...

"I'm looking for a strong minded conservative woman to take to dinner in a San Francisco restaurant. One who's smart enough to wait until we are served before delighting in the discussion of liberals, their flaws and their feeble attempts to hide them."

Translation: "Not in front of the help. They might spit in our food if they knew how much contempt I have for them."

[Midlodemocrat]

58. Funniest. Thread. Ever.

I think this is without a doubt, the funniest thread I have ever read on DU. I am glad I work from home, because I am laughing out loud so much, I woke the dog.

[Bouncy Ball]

62. I was about to say that.

This Hannity personals thing could be a GOLDMINE of laughs for us. I hope they keep it up! Post some more, post some more!

[Orsino]

69. Is a subscription required to post there?

Could we DU up some good conservative singles, just to see what sort of mildew they attract?

[no name no slogan]

61. Huh huh. Nice tripod. Huh Huh.

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/DSC00125





Hello, Well as long as most of the ladies are making passes at Sean, I might as well suggest that Ann Coulter has my heart. I love her artistic use of google and swift sharp wit to expose the extreme libs for what they are. But alas... I have never been married, no children. Engineer, working at NAS Jacksonville. I am a relaxed Republican that got more interested in the past election due to sheer fear that Kerry might possibly have done evil things to this Country. Thank you, Sean, Rush, et al..and especially George. I am happy now. Long live Republican guidance for the USA and world. I enjoy the outdoors, Florida beaches, weekend getaways, golf, swimming and just staying active. I spend my time in the gym and at the pool now. Fine dining is great, but I enjoy home cooked meals with a nice cabernet. I'm not a great cook, but I have a couple good recipe's. I can assist in the kitchen and can chop onions, as I have only nipped my fingertip once. I am not Religiously oriented. I do respect and encourage the choices of others. I enjoy a good discussion, but was raised a Catholic and am now non-practicing. I am looking for relaxed lady, who would rather enjoy life, communicate and develop mutual goals and activities. I do believe that strong relationships require communication and mutual interests. Independent interests are fine, the balance is important. I have no interest in a sham marriage....but why bring the Clinton's into this.

[Bouncy Ball]

70. He sounds like he could be converted.

Seriously. If I were single and could suppress my gag reflex long enough (you know, so that I didn't vomit while dating him), I could definitely get that one to see the light. He appreciates a fine wine and isn't religious. Was a "relaxed republican" before.

Yep. Bet he's never had any liberal sex, either.

[DS1]

75. That's not a tripod, it's his portable bar-stool, and missing its

vibrating 'attachment'

[flvegan]

65. Since they all posted their e-mail addresses...

I say that all these librul hatin' Shrubco knob polishers should get signed up for all the free porn the net has to offer.

j/k of course.

[davsand]

72. I feel kind of icky for laughing at this.

These are real people who are lonely and trying to reach out for companionship. We may disagree politically, but shouldn't we be able to move past that and share some simple human warmth with each other?


______________________________

Now that I have made the required PC "uber-liberal" be nice speech, can somebody PLEASE tell me how to quit LMAO here in my office?

People are walking by and looking at me kind of funny, plus, I need to figure out how to get the tea out of my keyboard that got spooged when I saw that thing about anybody wanting to do Annthrax Coulter...


Laura

[Felix Mala]

73. Once he meets a loose, liberal woman, he'll never go back...

[HamstersFromHell]

76. Even when the sheep look up at him and say...

"Daaaaaaaaady."

He'll just smile and tell 'em "I love ewe."

[Solly Mack]

78. I'm sorry but I'm washing my hair every night for the rest of my life