Is my bird evil? (pictures)

[Ladyhawk]

The evil Darth Maul

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Darth Maul's Evil Eye

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Anakin Skywalker Turns to the Dark Side

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Anakin's Evil Eye

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His Royal Greenness, Gabby the Velociraptor

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Gabby's Eye

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How afraid should I be?

[Ladyhawk]

1. Aw, nuts...I'm going to kick this.

:kick:

[LSdemocrat]

2. Are the eyes shifty? If so, then the bird is definitely evil.

[Ladyhawk]

50. Parrots are physically incapable of having shifty eyes.

Their eyes can move a bit, but mostly they move their heads in order to focus on objects.

Does this criterion still apply?

[uppityperson]

3. Hide all light sabers, flashlights, laser lights.

[Ladyhawk]

6. Check. n/t

[Neoma]

4. Has he given notion that s/he has force powers?

[Ladyhawk]

5. He has the ability to make me give him food.

Also, when he was younger, he could glide through the air. :scared:

[Neoma]

8. does he say anything?

[Ladyhawk]

9. Yes...he says, "Want that."

Am I giving in to the dark side? :scared:

[Neoma]

10. Naa, doesn't sound evil.

[AlienGirl]

40. By "Want that!" does he mean...

"I want to take over the world!"?

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

52. You know, I've never thought of that.

It's quite possible.

:scared:

[ronnykmarshall]

7. Get crackers ..... NOW!

Polly wants them OR ELSE!!!!

[Ladyhawk]

24. OK, I gave him bread and a nice seed mixture.

He seems contented for now, but he could snap at any moment...and I don't have any crackers! :scared:

[joems]

11. Ah..

yea your bird is crazy..

[joems]

12. my eyes are the same color too..

am I crazy..?

[Ladyhawk]

22. Are you dabbling in the Dark Side?

I don't know anyone with eyes that color.

LH

[GoddessOfGuinness]

13. No, your bird is the Messiah

We should all shut up and listen to him.

[Ladyhawk]

25. OK...he has said the following things:

"Hi, Gab."
"Hi, Gabby."
"How are you?"
"I'm fine!"
"Laura?...LAURA?!...LAURA?!?...where's that Laura?"
"Gabby's a good bird."
"Gabby's a wet bird."
"What a wet bird."
"What a good bird."
"What a good boy."
"Gabby's a dead bird." (I say this when he plays dead.)
"Good bird."
"Want this?"
"Want that."
"Hello."

He also laughs maniacally, whistles and screams at the top of his lungs. How shall we decide which of his proclamations is canon...that is, if he's not evil?

[AlienGirl]

14. How much does he destroy?

Has he ever destroyed anything worth more than $100? Does cackle evilly?

Here is a picture of my bird plotting to take over the world. Note the high-backed chair he is sitting in and the way he has his finger in his beak like Dr. Evil:


For reference:

:scared:

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

16. Who would win a battle between your Dr. Evil bird and...

...my dark Jedi bird? :)

Perhaps they could form an alliance and create a (imagine pantomiming the quotation marks, here) "Death Star" with a "laser beam" on it.

[AlienGirl]

17. The Bird-Alliance-Of-Evil is exactly what I fear!

Imagine what the parrots will do when they take over the world! :scared:

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

19. They'll genetically engineer themselves to be larger than people.

The pliers on their faces! The pliers on their faces! Oh, the horror! :scared:

[AlienGirl]

21. "When the only tool you have is a pliers...

Everything looks like it needs plying!"--Gideon's motto

Did you know that "Gideon" means "destroyer"? :scared:

Tucker

[LibertyorDeath]

15. All birds are Evil haven't you ever seen Hitchcock's The Birds

User Comments:

1 out of 1 people found the following comment useful:-
The Birds, 25 February 2005
10/10
Author: jboothmillard from United Kingdom

This is one of the most terrifying films I have seen in years, and what's great about it is that it's a work by one of the greatest cinema directors, Sir Alfred Hitchcock. The story is that Tippi Hedren meets Rod Taylor in a bird shop where is trying to buy love birds for his little sister's birthday. So Tippi (or Melanie Daniels) decides to take some to him herself. Suddenly before returning to shore after delivering the birds she is attacked. Not long after birds start to attack many other innocent people, until finally the entire town of Bodega Bay is overrun by these horrifying birds. A gripping story with some blood involved and some very good effects. Hitchcock himself said that this is probably his most terrifying film ever, IT IS! It's Outstanding!

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0056869/

[Ladyhawk]

46. I haven't seen it in over eighteen years: the exact length of time...

Gabby has lived with me. I was afraid he'd, you know, get ideas or something.

[LibertyorDeath]

47. LOL

:) Gabby great name....

[BikeWriter]

18. I was possessed by darkside birds for years!

[Ladyhawk]

23. How did you handle it?

You seem to have lived through it. What species of dark side birds were they and how did you know they were evil?

[BikeWriter]

27. Blue and Gold Macaws, Double Yellow Head Amazons, Congo Greys...

Umbrella Cockatoos, Goffin Cockatoos, Sun Conures, Senegals, Nandays, Quakers, Plumheads, and all manner of others. I knew they were evil because I must have been possessed to buy so many birds. Three hundred plus in the house and yard at one time.

[Ladyhawk]

28. Holy shit, dude! I think we're onto something here. n/t

[BikeWriter]

33. Yes, they may be evil aliens using mind control!

...Our Budgies and Lutino Love Birds used to gang up on me like a Hitchcock movie. It... it was terrifying! :(

[Ladyhawk]

39. I feel your pain, man. Here, let me hold you.

A hoard of budgies and lovebirds can be worse than one Amazon or umbrella cockatoo.

[BikeWriter]

48. Oh, and the big ones were the worst. Always wanting to stick their...

...beady eyed heads in your mouth and yell to listen to the echo and preening your hair! It was ghastly! ;-(

[Ladyhawk]

49. What we have here is the beginnings of a new WMD.

I did some research and discovered that when parrots yell into your mouth, they are actually attempting to find the correct pitch and timbre to create a cascade resonance that would shatter every tooth in the human mouth, thus rendering the subject incapacitated. The large parrot could then fly on to the next human, allowing its smaller compatriots--budgies, lovebirds, parrotlets, cockatiels, etc.--to finish off the disabled human.

The most frightening aspect of this new weapon is that it would have no effect whatsoever on psittacines, because the pitch and timbre needed to shatter a beak would be completely different from that needed to shatter teeth. It is suspected the new weapons may work on all mammals, including man's best friend and the small parrot's worst enemy, the cat.

I'll have more on this as soon as you give me a bunch of money. As of now, the Black Beak Victory--or BBV--project to uncover this vast parrot conspiracy has only earned $000,000.000. It would take only one one million dollar donor to up our proceeds to one million dollars.

Please, if you don't want to save the humans, think of the puppies and kittens! I take Visa, Mastercard, cash, checks, Paypal and--at this point--grocery coupons.

Thank you for your support.

[BikeWriter]

55. Those parrots are diabolical! I have to help you save the world...

...but I don't have any money. I'll tell you what, a relative of mine died overseas and his banker e-mailed me. I have to send him my bank account numbers and then he'll be sending me millions! As soon as I get it I'll send it to you!

[Bullwinkle925]

20. VERY!! - Get out now while you can!

[Ladyhawk]

26. I'm shamlessly kicking my threads tonight. Sue me. :D

:kick:

[Ladyhawk]

30. Apparently, I'm also misspelling shamelessly tonight...sigh. n/t

[Ladyhawk]

29. OMG! OMG! I JUST FOUND EVIDENCE THAT MAY PROVE...

...all parrots are evil! If so, they may be behind the Bush cabal and everything horrible that has been happening! I need to do some further investigating, but I'll let you know the details as soon as I can.

Of course, this investigation will cost money, so PM me to donate as soon as you can!

This is really big, folks! I might have to dig through some people's trash to come up with the proof and I'll need a lot of money to file some FOIAs. We have to get this out to the public! Send lots and lots of money to me as soon as you can!

[Ladyhawk]

31. More evidence that parrots are evil!

The Evil Emperor Palpatine - The Most Evil One of All!

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The Evil Emperor Palpatine's Evil Pale-Yellow Eye

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An Adult African Grey Parrot - The Most Intelligent One of All!

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The Pale-Yellow Eye of an Adult African Grey

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:scared:

We're in big trouble here, folks. Either African greys have been under the tutelage of the evil emperor or even--gasp!--the other way around!

:scared:

[AlienGirl]

34. Eeek! The EYE!

:scared:



Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

35. Oh no! The coming of the evil pliers from above! AAAAAAACK!

Your bird looks seriously scary in that pic. Can you imagine a sixty foot cockatoo? Godzilla, you'd better run for your freakin' life.

Bwahahahahahahaha!

[AlienGirl]

36. Xen and I have some new catchphrases:

"Eek! The BEAK!"--said whenever Gideon is approaching sneakily, which is oddly frequent

"You're secretly a giant parrot!"--generally said to crack each other up

Actually, we often say things about people secretly being giant parrots.

Probably the funniest parrot-related sentence was when Xen said he wished we could convince everyone that Gideon is our child, but he has a condition that makes him look like a bird, so that "Gideon can go to Hebrew school and things like that!" I'm not sure why, but the thought of a parrot writing in Hebrew is somehow extra-funny!

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

37. He'd have trouble keeping his yarmulke on.

It would fall off every time he raised his crest. :)

[AlienGirl]

38. Unless it went UNDER the crest...

On that spot of bare skin that just looks like it needs a kippah!

Or I could use birdie-size bobby pins...hmmm...

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

43. But if you put the yarmulke under his crest,

you could only see it when the crest was raised. You might get a bunch of crackpot Jewish conspiracy theorists if you did that: secret Jewish flashing of the yarmulke or something. They'd create some huge lie to support the silly idea that Jews are trying to take over the world. That's the silliest conspiracy theory I've ever heard. However, the parrot / evil Jedi / Dr. Evil / pirate / neocon conspiracy makes perfect sense to me.

P.S. Send money. Lots of it.
P.P.S. I accept PayPal.

[AlienGirl]

45. Maybe they'll think

that this is part of the shapeshifting-reptile-from-space thing? I mean, birds *do* have scales on their legs, like reptiles...

Tucker (imagining a T-rex roaring, "WAAAANT THAAAAT!")

[Ladyhawk]

41. P.S. Send LOTS of money so that I may continue to look into...

...this terrifying conspiracy.

OMG...OMG! I just realized something. "Conspiracy" has the word "piracy" in it. Pirates are into "piracy." Pirates are also evil. What kind of companion animal is associated with pirates?

PARROTS!!!

Therefore parrots are evil!!!!!!!

OMG...OMG, you guys! I've stumbled onto something huge! But I'm going to need LOADS of money to figure out the rest of it. Call Randi Rhodes! Call Mike Malloy! I'm going to need a lot of funding to get to the bottom of this.

[AlienGirl]

42. And the first part of "conspiracy" is "cons"!

Cons are also evil! Cons and piracy!!

Tucker

[Ladyhawk]

44. And the word "cons" is part of the word "neoconservatives." OMG!!!!

I think you've stumbled onto the connection with the Bush Crime Family! :scared:

P.S. Of course, I'll need more money to investigate this.
P.P.S. I will accept Euros, dollars, checks, Visa, Mastercard and PayPal.

[Ladyhawk]

32. OK, I'm shamelessly kicking JUST THIS THREAD tonight. :)

Well, it's better than shamelessly kicking all my threads, isn't it?

:kick:

[DawgHouse]

51. Oh, he's not evil

but he does look mischievous!

[Lizzie Borden]

53. Animals by definition cannot be evil.

Only people can.

[Ladyhawk]

54. If only you knew the power of the dark side of the bird!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

[Ladyhawk]

56. A kick and a reminder to donate to my fund...

...to stop parrots from taking over the world. The Black Beak Victory must never take place!

I now accept Euros, dollars, checks, Mastercard, Visa, Paypal, grocery coupons and those little tickets that come out of the machine when you play skee-ball.