By the way, just so everyone knows, I HATE forwarded emails.

[Bouncy Ball]

HATE THEM HATE THEM HATE THEM HATE THEM.

I don't just hate them when they are right wing crap, either. No, I have an equal opportunity hatred. I hate the smiley, oh I hope you are having a fantastic day ones, too.

I hate the ones with singing cartoon bugs that get squished by a shoe at the end (OH GOSH I HAD NO IDEA THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN! I GOTTA REPLAY IT!)

I hate the ones where you have to scroll down through smilies playing jump rope, smilies kissing the air, smilies hugging each other, to a banner in 84 point text that says "HAVE A NICE DAY!!! PASS THIS ON TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE!!"

How bout I just delete it instead?

I feel like SUCH a curmudgeon about it, too. I'm not like this about ANYTHING else. I like sappy greetings cards. I'm affectionate in person.

I JUST don't like stupid forwarded emails. They are a waste of my time. If you want to tell me you hope I have a nice day, try this: email me and say "Hey, I hope you have a nice day."

I'll go "Aww, how sweet. They actually typed the words out instead of sending me a clip I have to spend time downloading only to find out it's stupid." And I'll email you back and tell you the same.

No, instead I used to get (before I blocked almost every family member's frigging email address) emails about why Jane Fonda should be shot, FAKE QUOTES from the Dalai Lama (he did NOT say those things), stuff about Jesus and praying for bush (vomit), SMILIES, SMILIES, SMILIES!, pictures of babies in diapers, oh my!, photoshopped pictures that have been debunked on Snopes for about 500 years now, chain emails with vague threats of what will happen to me if I don't pass it on (hey kiss my ass, I don't forward emails), urban legends about how deoderant causes breast cancer, random gangs of kidney-stealing thieves, and people in mall parking lots who have the amazing ability to knock people out with fake perfume, then jack their car.

Gawd. One thing I have noticed, though, and this is just my experience: not a SINGLE one of my left-leaning friends or family members has EVER sent me such crap. Never. Only the ones who vote for bush and listen to rush limpballs like he's God. Sorry if I've offended anyone but I just can't stand them.

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Too bad.

I just got this Nigerian money thing and since I already used one from last week, I was going to send it to you.

[Bluebear]

2. >>>>>>>Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:

How very "personal"!

I am with ya.

[ret5hd]

3. i just forwarded you an email that explans how to lower your stress level

[Bouncy Ball]

4. I won't even open it.

Delete! LOL!

[redqueen]

5. I hate them, too.

I only have one friend that sends them, and she's definitely a left-winger. A bit religious lately, though, so maybe it's that.

I just delete them. Sometimes she sends funny jokes, and I don't want to miss those... I need 'em!

[antigone382]

6. I hate all except for the really funny ones.

But the ones I really, really, really f***ing hate are those "Unless you're a really lazy, selfish a**hole who HATES Jesus and little girls and DOESN'T CARE if your grandmother gets kidnapped in a mall to become a sex slave, all because you DON'T SUPPORT the troops or America, you MUST send this e-mail to fifty people IMMEDIATELY!!! JUST a FEW CLICKS could CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!"

:nuke: :grr: :spank: :grr: :nuke:

[Bouncy Ball]

21. Where are these really funny ones?

How come I've never seen them? It'd be one thing if they truly were funny, but it's rare that a forwarded email has ever gotten anything out of me besides a slight smile.

DU, on the other hand, makes me laugh so hard I throw up a little bit in my mouth.

[antigone382]

33. As soon as I receive one, I'll forward it to you.

:evilgrin:

[BurtWorm]

7. This is sooo good, I HAVE to share it with everyone in my address book.

:bounce:

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. I fuckin' hate 'em, too. And they're always forwarded by clueless assholes

who don't how to use email, and don't realize that anyone using a real email program - something it isn't AOL or a web-browser based piece of shit - gets header after header after header of shit, and has to scroll and scroll and scroll to finally get to the little bit of actual useless content, and then gets footer after footer after footer from every other johnny buttfuck that forwarded that email.

[BurtWorm]

10. And it's always some "warning" that was debunked before e-mail existed,

or a guilt tripping "forward this to everyone you know or a little girl is going to die" chain letter. :grr:

[Bouncy Ball]

22. THANK you.

More than once, I've seen all that header crap and said "NOPE!"

Or it makes you open up attachment after attachment to see what it is. Screw that noise.

[Rabrrrrrr]

30. Oh, yeah, the fuckwad aol-ers and their embedded emails

Show some courtesy, people - and practice safe internetting - if you MUST, simply MUST forward an email, copy and paste the text that matters into a new email. Don't actually "forward" it.

AOL and yahoo.com and hotmail and some of these others should do the world a favor and eliminate the "forward" button altogether, because they're users are too &@*(^%# stupid to be trusted with a fork without a cork over the tines, let alone email.

Yeah, I love the dickweed donkey-rapers from some of these internet sites who forward email, and it's just attachment within attachment within attachment by the time someone intelligent, using intelligent email software, receives it.

Oh, and one more rant - not only should the mentally challenged sites take away the forward button, they should also stop hiding all the headers and other important stuff from email. That's also one of the problems - aol and others, when they show an email, strip out all the header and other stuff, and just show the text, so the dumbasses using it don't even realize, necessarily, that the email is filled with shit.

And one last rant - HAVE THE COMMON COURTESY TO CLEAN UP THE *@^(*^#%$^ EMAIL SO I DON'T HAVE TO TRY TO READ SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS:


>>>>>>>>>>> Ha ha!! This joke
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> is really funny!!
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> (joke text randomly
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> inserted thro
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (attachment joke1 funny!! ha ha.htm)
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> ughou
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> t this area
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>> like t
>>>>>>> his)
>>>>>>>>>>> Pass it on, because
>>>>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>>> (attachment organ donor card joke!!.jpg)
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> somone else didn't
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> and now they're >>>>> having difficulty
>>>>>>>>>>> >>>> >>>>>
>>>>>>>>> >>>>> urinating!!!
>>>>>>>>>>> >>> >>>>>

[Bouncy Ball]

32. That was a very good rendition of one.

Though short. I got one once that was so long, I called over a couple of coworkers to see it, because I knew they wouldn't believe me. I'm just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and they're like "DAMN! BAD manners!"

No shit.

[petronius]

41. This is probably a bad idea...

makes you open up attachment after attachment to see what it is

...especially since you know it's not something you want, anyway.

[Bouncy Ball]

43. I've been curious in the past

but nowdays, I delete it after looking at the sender and seeing that there are attachments.

[luvLLB]

9. I'm an atheist.....I hate the religious ones that keep telling me to

just forward to 10 people and i will receive a miracle. It would be a miracle if they stopped sending me ways to save myself. I'm an atheist, what do they want me saved from?

[RebelOne]

34. Same here. I have a friend who continues to send

me religious e-mails constantly. Oh yes, and forward them so that others can pray and have their souls saved. Give me a break!!! I just hit delete. Right after the election she sent me one that urged people to pray for Bush. I replied saying that if I prayed, I would pray for him to be sent to hell.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. Bouncy, you just need to relax a bit

http://webpages.charter.net/hkirtley/stress/

[Bouncy Ball]

23. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I saw the words "dolphin stress test" and exited out. That's just the kind of thing my mother in law would send me.....if I hadn't blocked her email address.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

28. actually out of all the crap I've ever been sent that was the only one

that ever made me chuckle mildly as I got it during a very stressful time :)

[Worst Username Ever]

12. You made an interesting statement.

Now that I think about it, pretty much every e-mail forward I get is from a freeper relative or co-worker. In fact, with the rare exception of funny pictures or a funny video, every chain e-mail, "pray for so-and-so" email, every "pass it on because Microsoft will give you 50 dollars by participating!" email, etc, had come from either my in-laws or a a freeper chick I used to work with. Strange....

Taking it a step further, even my LIBERAL friends never sent me political hate-garbage druing the campaign, but I got plenty from the repukes. Hm.

[hfojvt]

14. do you think we would have been helped

if there were "Bush is a liar" emails that were mass mailed and made into chain emails. Is that not another Rush Limbaugh that the right wing has and we do not match?
For example, BB had a post on the Iraq war a couple weeks ago. Would that not make a nice mass email? Or the top ten conservative idiots. If it was mass emailed, would that increase the number of readers? Are they not crushing us in the propaganda wars?

[Bouncy Ball]

18. I don't know.

That's a good point, though....

[Worst Username Ever]

19. Hard to say. The RW propaganda machine is both laughable and formidable.

Formidable because of its size and the RW's willingness to believe absolutely anything put in front of them. Laughable BECAUSE of the things that these people actually believe.

Over Christmas I got an email telling people to boycott the "french owned" Target Corp because they banned the Salvation Army. It's a public corporation, based in Minneapolis, and they ban EVERYONE from soliciting donation outside, dingus. Can't tell if it is frightening or funny that people believe that.

I don't think our answer to winning elections is to emulate the Right. Having said that, I think a winning strategy is to better frame our message and to mass-produce it accurately, consistantly, and frequently. If we have a truthful message, getting it out via email is certainly one possibilty.

I'm really excited to see Howard in action in his new post, BTW.

[Bouncy Ball]

26. I agree, Worst.

One thing I like about being a liberal and about other liberals is that we DON'T just believe any old shit that lands in our inbox. That's the downfall of the right (and will be, believe me). Their people just fall for any old crap. It amazes me what they'll believe--and I'm not just talking about political stuff, either.

I had one friend who forwarded me the stuff about people in mall parking lots asking you to sniff this perfume, and it knocks people out and they stuff you in the trunk of your car and steal your car, kill you, dump your body.

Well, I sent her the Snopes link about it (can you NOT do five seconds worth of basic research before sending that shit out???) and she got PISSED OFF. She started claiming that this REALLY happened to a friend of hers, only her friend was too smart to sniff the perfume and she called the cops on her cell phone, these mysterious people ran off, etc.

I asked what happened of the police report (this friend lives right down the street from her). She forwarded my question to her friend, who got in on it and started YELLING at me in emails about how it REALLY HAPPENED TO HER and I kept saying "Ok if it really did, describe it to me. And what did the police say? What did they do?"

Know what she did? Emailed me back, calling me a bitch and saying she would never email me again.

Oh, no, do you promise?

:eyes: She was SUCH a liar. And SO needed to protect that lie.

[hfojvt]

36. are you saing Tar-jay is not French?

Tanj, I learn so much on DU.
Twin-town though, that is even worse than France. I spent five years at the U of M and was converted to liberalism by James r Lileks.

[Worst Username Ever]

38. Lol, Target is not French.

It was a discount store started by the Dayton-Hudson company, now called Target Corporation. And Twin Town Rocks, as does the U of MN, thank you.


www.lileks.com

:hi:

[Bouncy Ball]

16. YEP.

It's extremely rare that I receive a forwarded email from someone I know to be liberal.

In fact, I can count it on one hand: once. My best friend forwarded me some photograph having to do with a rivalry between two Texas universities. It was mildly funny and I deleted it.

That's it, the only one.

[sandnsea]

25. Guess what else

The Christian and Republican groups grew through direct mail. There is definitely something psychological about it. I also noticed the only unsolicited crap I ever get in my email is from conservatives. My lib cousin forwards stuff, but that's a mutual thing.

[hfojvt]

13. that's about the only mail I get from my brother

and my nieces too.
Usually not right-wing crap. But the right-wing crap does not bother me too much. I usually get out a mental stick and treat it like a pinyata. I hit "reply all" and have fun thrashing it. The wingers cannot take the heat and quickly take me off of their mailing list. But I do love a pinyata, except the rightwing ones are usually full of horseshit rather than candy, but I am just like a little boy playing in the mud.

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. What's your email address, BB?

I've got something I'd like to forward to you.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. You're liberal

which means, according to my hypothesis, that you wouldn't.

:-)

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. C'mon! I could be a FReeper troll!

:D

[Bouncy Ball]

27. Riiiiiight.

:thumbsup:

[gollygee]

24. I hate them too

I hate hate hate hate hate them. Loathe them. Detest them. They are the worst thing to come from the internet.

I still get them and it frankly pisses me off every time. Why do people assume 40 or 50 people they know would be interested in some philosophical story, stupid joke, urban legend, etc.?

[Bouncy Ball]

29. What's worse is when you ask them NICELY, RESPECTFULLY

to please, for the love of puppies and kitties to STOP, cease and desist, immediately.

Aaaaand they don't.

I had a real problem with my mother in law and her freeper emails. I finally told her for every anti-Dem, pro-bush email she sent me, I'd hit reply all and send THREE anti-republican, anti-bush emails to everyone on her list.

Well, I guess she didn't believe me. She sent me three more and I sent NINE to her entire reply list (she never did figure out blind copying of recipients).

Whooo, it pissed her off. But I sent her a copy of the emails in which I nicely asked her to stop AND the email where I said what I would do if she didn't.

She didn't email me for months after that. Then she started again. Stuff rush limpballs said, stuff ann "Eva" Coulter says, why Jane Fonda should be shot, insulting stuff about Kerry.

I blocked her email address and told her exactly why.

Oh another thing: my father in law, terminal with cancer, is now sending my husband really raunchy forwarded emails. The nastiest was one where there was a big bush sign in the background (before the election) and these women were lifting up their skirts and didn't have any underwear on. Sitting on chairs, no less, so we could get a really good, gynecological view. And it was ewwwwww, too. Not pretty. My husband, normally not one to dislike nudie shots, nearly lost his lunch.

[immoderate]

31. My experience is different.

About 90% of the forwards I get are really funny! I don't get anything from freepers and fundies because I don't know any. Just lucky I guess.

I have one neighbor who sends me stuff about the latest threats to firewalls and such. Pretty harmless. The biggest source is an uncle who has always been the family joke guy and I must say he only sends things that are funny. Although for a while he was sending out some electronic greeting cards which didn't come up to his usual standard. Fortunately, he got over it.

I guess I am just blessed.

--IMM

[ronnykmarshall]

35. I hear that!

It very rare that I'll forward a joke e-mail. When I do I cut paste it into a new e-mail.

I love my step dad like crazy, but he sends me tons of them daily. Sometimes I get the same damn joke from about 4 people in a day.!!

[VelmaD]

37. The ones I really really hate...

are the ones warning me about some terrible new danger facing the women of America. I get really tired of people trying to ratchet up my level of fear or convince me that as a women it just isn't ever safe to leave my house alone...EVER. :eyes:

[Bouncy Ball]

39. I used to get them from a right wing female friend

and she would always preface the forward with things like this:

"OHMYGOD, THIS SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!"

"THIS IS GONNA SCARE YOU SO BAD!"

"PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE CAREFUL THIS IS FOR REAL!!"

or just the good old standby:

"SCARY STUFF!!!!!!!!"

There can never be too many exclamation points, btw. If I believed all that crap, I'd have to believe dish sponges contain Agent Orange, my deoderant is going to give me breast cancer, tampons have asbestos in them, and if I cough during a heart attack, I'll live.

(Actual items from snopes and emails I've received.)

[VelmaD]

40. My momma would actually get them more than me...

from her idiot friends. She would forward them to me so I could debunk them and she would then re-forward the email along with the link proving it was bullshit. Finally I told her to tell her friends to go to snopes BEFORE they forwarded that bullshit to everyone they know.

[blondeatlast]

42. Agreed, yes, indeed! What is worse is theat I can't block the offenders

in case they send me something needed, since they are often friends and realtives.

[Bouncy Ball]

44. I told my mother in law to start

emailing my husband, that I was blocking her email address. There's only so many times I can ask for people to stop sending me stuff and have that request ignored. She got the message, I'm sure.

[fleabert]

45. I am going to forward this to everyone I know!

no really, i want to. I feel the same way you do. I love to hit snopes, c&p, and hit 'reply all' for the bullshit 'warnings' I get. How many times can I tell people to google or snopes something before they forward it to me before they will do it?

I am delete queen when it comes to that smiley hug shit, and fuck the prancing unicorns and teddy bears. wtf, are we 5 years old?

and yes, i get 100% of this crap from my born-again fundamentalist relatives. Not to mention the ones that say 'god loves you' but bad things will happen to you if you don't send this message to 500 people. Because god and jesus give a shit if I forward emails.

[Bouncy Ball]

46. WTF, are we five years old?

LMAO....I love that line. Exactly how I feel. I've got nothing against teddy bears and unicorns, I quite like them. But somehow it feels strange getting electronic greetings cards from my family members with such things in it, like I'm a little kid. THat's exactly IT.

Hey feel free, my rant is part of the public domain now. It's not too good as I was a bit pissed off when I wrote it (had just gotten another one), but have at it.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

47. RE: Re: FW: Fw: Re: Re: RE: Fwd: Re: Yes, me too

-----Original Message-----
From: Anarcho-Socialist
Sent: 08 March 2005 15:05
To: BouncyBall
Subject: RE: Re: FW: Fw: Re: Re: RE: Fwd: Re: Yes, me too

Yes, I agree. I hate it when people send me forwarded e-mail.

If forward this DU post to 10 people - Bill Gates and Vladimir Putin will arrive at your door dressed as pigeons and will sing Jesus songs.

[BikeWriter]

48. I send this in return...

Burlap Boy
I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing
this for me, because I can't. She is crying. "Don't
cry, Mommy!" Mommy is always sad, but she says it's
not my fault. I asked her if it was God's fault, but
she didn't answer, and only started crying harder, so
I don't ask her that anymore.

The reason she is so sad is that I'm so sick. I was
born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I go
to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial body. My
body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors
said that was the best they could do on account of us
having no money or insurance. I would like to have a
body transplant, but we need more money.

Mommy doesn't work because she said employers don't
hire crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and
she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always gives me hugs,
even though she's allergic to burlap, and it chafes
her real bad. I hope you will help me. You can help me
if you forward this letter.

Dr. Johansen said if you forward this letter then Bill
Gates would team up with AOL and do a survey with
NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers from
school children all over America and take them up to
space so that the angels can hear them better. Then
they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a
collection in church and send the money to the
doctors. The doctors could help me better then. Maybe
one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just
use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them.
The doctors said that every time you forward this
letter, the astronauts could take another prayer to
the angels. Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I
want a body. I don't want my leaves to rot before I
turn 10.

If you don't forward this letter, that's OK. Mommy
says you're a mean heartless person who doesn't care
about a poor little boy with only a head. What kind of
heartless person are you that you can't take a couple
of measly minutes to forward this to all your friends
so that they can feel guilt and shame for the rest of
their days, and then maybe help a poor, bodiless
nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. This is not very much fun. I try to be
happy but it's hard. I wish I had a puppy. I wish I
could hold a puppy.

Thank You.

Billy 'Smiles' Evans
The boy with just a head, And a burlap sack for a
body.