The Escapee (a story received via email)

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

Enjoy!
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he is in there the husband tells his wife. "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw the way he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous, if he gets angry he'll kill us. Be strong Honey, I Love You!"

To which the wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thinks you are cute and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I Love You too!"