Tales Of A 34-Year Old Loser

[mermaid]

Well, it looks like game, set, point, match. I have no choice left but to go back to Mommy in Pennsylvania, after ten years of living on my own. I can no longer find life-sustaining work in a stable, secure, permanent position.

I certainly cannot justify signing another lease on the strength of just a temp job....one that, for all I ever know, could be gone with the wind tomorrow.

I've had just about all of Texas I want, anyway. Time to get out of Red-State Hell, and back into a Blue State. Damn it has been 8 years since I lived in a Blue State!!

But, none of this makes me feel any better about being a 34-year old loser...because only losers have to go back home at age 34! I oughta be able to support myself, but apparently I am not capable of it.

Oh, I can sugar-coat it and everything, and make myself feel better...yeah, my dog will have a yard now...yeah, I'm going to maybe be able to go back to school, and work part-time/temp to better myself, yeah, I'll be helping out my mom a bunch by moving home with her, she works way too hard, and is all alone up there in Pennsylvania since my dad died six years ago...but, what it comes down to is this:

The rotten economy cause by George W Bush has led to it becoming impossible for me to locate decent-paying steady, full-tiime employment that will sustain me any longer. And that makes me a loser.

No, I don't mean I'm a failure in that sense. I recognize when things are beyond my control to do anything about it. And I recognize that doing this will likely be in my long-term best interest, because I will be able to re-enter the work force in a career I actually want to be in, and with a degree, and make a lot more money.

what I mean, by loser...is that I am one of the victims of the George W Bush economy. I never had much to begin with, have always been in the lowest or second-lowest quintile in our socio-economic scale. but, I am a loser at this economic system, the new 'Murikan way of life. I do not have what it takes to make it in this new economy. so I am a loser. And there are likely to be many more losers behind me.

My point is that the house of cards is starting to fall down. People are going to start taking a real good serious look at their own circumstances, and maybe they will finally realize things were better for them before George W Bush became the Pretzeldent. And there will be more "losers" to follow...more and more kids and young adults are going to have to move back home to make ends meet. And that will have an effect on those having to move back in...as well as on thier parents, who will finally be woken up out of their fantasy world, when their kids show up on their front doorstep with the clothes on their back and the rest of their worldly belongings in a fucking shopping bag.

If we are doing so much better than our parents did....why could Dad support a family of four on a high-school education, buy a house, and Mom could stay home with the young kids until they were school age....and I cannot even make it on my own in a one-bedroom apartment?

THAT's a question I'd love to see someone pose to the fucking Pretzeldent!! Not likely the likes of Gannon and the Corporate Media will ever ask THAT one, though, will they??

FUCK YOU, GEORGE W BUSH, MAY YOU FOREVER ROT IN THE DEEPEST PITS OF HELL!!

[ashmanonar]

1. i think a lot of people are in your shoes, mermaid.

and i think a lot more will find themselves in your shoes in a year or two. then more after that. sooner or later, this country will be full of people who literally can't survive this way anymore.

viva la revolucion!

[GalleryGod]

2. Penna. with Mom won't be So Bad, you Just Wait and See!

You've given Texas enuff of your time & money anyhow!:crazy:
I don't know you personally.but. from what I can glean from your post-this "forced" relocation might be just the tonic for your soul.:beer:

Go home with a "Happy Heart" and truly "enjoy Mom" once more.

:hi: GG

[Jamastiene]

3. Either

you are not a loser or I am a loser too. I prefer to look at both of us as victims of the Bush economy.

[mermaid]

20. If You Read Carefully

That is exactly what I meant. I am a victim of the Bush economy. I am a loser in the system we now have.

[Crankie Avalon]

4. Embrace the change...

...maybe it is happening for a reason and something good will happen when you least expect it because of this move (someone new will come into your life that wouldn't have where you were, or a new career will open up, etc.).

I just hope you're right about people finally wising up and seeing the Bush economy for what it is rather than blaming an anemic job market on Janet Jackson showing part of her breast for a second on TV or whatever else it is they currently seem to think is our nation's biggest problem.

[Coyote_Bandit]

5. Another Loser Here

Over two years unemployed now. Educated. And quickly depleting my savings.

If I were 18 again I would completely forego formal higher education. A skill or a trade that one can take with them and use without being dependent on an employer to earn an income is far better.

edit for spelling...

[MrModerate]

8. Try again

All trades are vulnerable. Independent technician (plumber, emergency electrician) if you've got the nerve and can do your own business development. Maybe if you can take a trade and raise it to an art -- i.e., become an artisan, then you can establish a uniqueness that can't be outsourced.

Myself, I mastered the English language in a way that is very valuable to my multilingual, multinational company. Sure everybody speaks English -- but they don't necessarily write it well. That's where I come in. I'm a linguo-artisan (masquerading as a training manager right now).

It's put food on my family for 20 years and since I'm willing to travel, I've never been left behind.

But it did require higher education and about 10 years of steady practice before I got a grip on my marketability.

[amazona]

13. well...

I'm sorry to say that a great many artisans do not make any genuine amount of money and many lose money. There is a lot more spousal and parental welfare out there among artisans than the wanna-be's have any idea. People see someone with a store or a craft booth and a heck of a lot of talent, and they think the person is doing great, while behind the scenes the artisan has no health insurance and a history of bankruptcies.

Most adults don't really have "10 years of steady practice" to spend before they need to start earning money. Alas, we only live a few decades, if we spent 4 decades getting educated and learning our way around, then we're already past our physical peak before we have any money to speak of and the accumulative phase of our lifetimes will be too short to provide for our extended retirements.

And we can't all be plumbers either and still have being a plumber be a "safe" job so I guess I don't know what the answer is.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[MrModerate]

16. I was a bit luckier . . .

During my 10 years of learning my craft, I at least got paid most of the time.

Prior to that I followed another trade (actor/director) that paid approximately squat. And yes, spousal support was a major part of what made that possible for me.

However, it's also what cost me that spouse when she got tired of supporting me.

[McKenzie]

6. don't beat yourself up friend

we live in a society where "winning" (gawd knows what) is the Holy Grail. It isn't. Besides, a lot of people "succeed" because they kiss ass, lie to themselves or just dumbly swallow the corporate bullshit in order to "get ahead". Others because they are ruthless.

You'll notice I'm using a few quotation marks. That's because all the afore-mentioned terms are constructs of the corporate world, repeated parrot fashion by the unintelligent and the ignorant. You come across as somewhat more intelligent and informed than that.Success on whose terms? Rhetorical question because the answer is glaringly obvious...we don't set the parameters, they do.

It's easy to post a few words but I mean them all...don't beat yourself up and don't feel like you are a loser. I'll give you a wee example of relative value. Nurses wiped up my vomit and sat by my bed a couple of years ago. I have the utmost respect for those people; they get paid a pittance relative to their contribution to society. Many "successful" (quotes again) business people have trampled over others to get wealthy yet they are regarded as "successful".

We have our value system upside down...it is what an individual contributes to the well being of others, irrespective of how much they are worth in financial terms, that counts. I know nurses who barely survive, yet they are people whose contribution to our collective well being cannot be measured in monetary terms.

Don't let it get you down. Anyone who measures success in monetary terms has missed something very important.

Regards and good luck.

[Nite Owl]

7. My son

who is in college and is 23 told me last week that one of his professors told them in class that the average age for being fully on your own is now 28 but only to be back again at 34. You are not a loser by any means so stop thinking that. This is the way it is today. The only good thing is maybe families will be closer for this. I'm semi retired now and I would not want to be starting out now the way that you younger people are. You got it so much harder than we ever had.

[mermaid]

21. Well, I Started Out Fully On My Own At 23...And Am Back At 34

And even you say we young people have it much harder...so why is it everyone else would have us believe we are doing so much better than our parents did?

What a crock of shit that is!

[Nite Owl]

26. Back in the seventies

workers were valued. Being at a job and having experience were seen as good for the company and now they don't give a shit about who works for them. If they can get someone for less pay then it's just about the bottom line. In spite of what the inflation rate is said to be they do not include the costs of health care and such that have skyrocketed. On paper it might look ok but not in reality. Good luck to you.

[LynneSin]

9. Been there, done that and managed to get back on my feet!

But believe me, I waited tables for 3 years trying to get my life re-organized. Anyhow, Pennsylvania is such a better state than Texas!!

PS - I was a victem of the first Bush recession

[GOPBasher]

10. You're not a "loser"; you're in the Bush economy.

I have a physics B.S., graduating Magna Cum Laude, and I'm half way to my master's in education. I make $24,000/year as a teacher. I couldn't support my family if I didn't get to live for free in a house my parents own -- but don't live in.

This is how it is right now. The media will not talk about how bad things really are. Everyone is doing worse than their parents.

[amazona]

11. this is happening all over

We are going back to the multiple generation household and not voluntarily but because twentysomethings and thirtysomethings can't find jobs that pay at an adult level.

The conservation movement is a breeding ground of communists
and other subversives. We intend to clean them out,
even if it means rounding up every birdwatcher in the country.
--John Mitchell, US Attorney General 1969-72

[mermaid]

25. No Kidding!

My question is....how much longer before 'Murika wakes up and realizes what has been taken from them??

[Spirochete]

12. You're not a loser

you've just been playing against a stacked deck. Go enjoy the company of your mother while you still can, register to vote there, and vote Rick the Dick out of office. That ought to make you feel somewhatt better about everything.

[mermaid]

22. Nothing Would Give Me Greater Satisfaction

Than to be a part of taking down Prick Santorum!!

[tcoursen]

14. what kind of job?

What skills and what kind of job are you having a hard time getting?

[mermaid]

23. A Regular, Ordinary Data Entry/Clerical Job

Can't get one to save my life.

[xmas74]

31. Same here!

The only data/clerical jobs around here are starting at about $6.00 per hour. I cannot pay the rent, pay for preschool, childcare, utilities, groceries, car insurance, medical insurance (which I now have to pay separatly from my employer, if I want any) and the other odds and ends-like food for my dog.
I am contemplating moving home too. It is the only way that I can give my child a decent life. Pathetic but true.

[steve2470]

15. I've had to go back home between marriages briefly, and

promptly moved back out. You're not a loser at all, you just need a little help right out. Be gentle with yourself.

[lpbk2713]

17. It's certainly not your fault.

If you need someone to blame lay it all on Katherine Harris. If it hadn't been for her and her co-conspiritors Shit-for Brains would still be going broke on bad oil well investments and the rest of us would be a helluva lot better off.

[forgethell]

18. Hey, Chin up.

I had to move back to Mama's when I was 50. With Mrs. Hell, and the little Hell children. It really was Hell. Had to stay a year. Although I was able to get a good job in two months, I had lost everything and had to rebuild.

Just swallow your pride, and be glad you've got someplace to go. So many people don't. It'll pass. God, I wish I could be 34 again, even 43.

:-)

[barb162]

19. this economy sucks and never blame yourself

[mermaid]

24. Okay, Folks - CLARIFICATION TIME

i'm not being hard on myself, saying I am a loser. i'm being realistic.

I'm a loser in the Bush economy. In the class warfare being driven by the right wing. And there will be, I'm afraid, many more losers in line behind me. And maybe then we will wake up.

For my part, I just thank God I have a mother who is willing to take me in. Especially since I'm also a transsexual.

My mother accepts me as her daughter. So many TS's have parents who throw thier TS kid out like yesterday's newspaper.

My point is...all of us on the bottom of the heap are going to winid up the big losers in this wonderful new 'Murikan economy Bush is building for us.

P.S. Mom is even fronting me the money for my moving truck.

At least my car is fully-paid-for, so I don't have to worry about some fuckhead banker coming to take it away from me.

[Canadian Socialist]

27. Your mum is a wonderful woman

You are very lucky to have a family like this. You are a "loser" in the sense that you mean, but not in the regular definition. By that I mean you have family to help, you're strong, and you will prevail. The economy sucks right now, especially in the U.S., but this too shall pass. (crosses fingers). My advice? Not that you asked <g>. Get some papers (i.e. education) while you can. Even if it's free courses thru CNet on computer usage. Figure out what you like to do, and the money will follow. Or not. But the main thing is to try. I'm not trying to be a Mary Poppins here, but sometimes you need to suck it up and move on. You've had it rough. I see that. I can well imagine the angst you are going through. I'm 49 and wishing I could move back in with my folks. However, the pride is too strong. But, honey, I do wish you all the best.:hug:

[mermaid]

28. Yes, She Is. But It Still Hurts My Pride. Badly. n/t

[Canadian Socialist]

29. I know

but, she's your Mum! She'll understand. The pride thing? Hard to get over, but sometimes one does what's best for oneself. You can repay her in the future. Right now, you need her. And, you're her baby. You will always be her baby. And as a good woman, she more than likely knows what it's costing you (pride, etc.). Again <<<<hugs>>>>. Do what's best for you right now.

[Hans Delbrook]

30. We've all had to have help at one time or another

Pride-shmide my Mom would say - that's what families are for. That's what makes us truly human! Without that to balance the other crap we're not much of a bargain as a species.

If you're coming to the Philadelphia area let me know. I'm a "hiring manager" who talks to a lot of other hiring managers.

(And yes, we can use all the help we can get to take down that evil Santorum!)

[mermaid]

32. Well...I'll Be Living In Saylorsburg

That's 70 miles north of Phila. I'm looking more into the Allentown area for work, but if you can point me in the right direction, i'll be glad of any help I can get!!

[Hans Delbrook]

33. I do have friends in Bethlehem

I'll see what I can do. When you get settled send a resume to my in box - Can you do that?

[mermaid]

35. Absolutely I Will! n/t

[Misunderestimator]

38. Damn... that's one fine mother you have...

And I totally got your first post... We're all losers in this one way or another. It will take much more loss for some people to see it though.

[NoPasaran]

34. Mermaid

Sorry to hear that your luck has sucked so much lately. You deserve better from life than the deal you've been getting. I hope things will turn around for you in Pennsylvania. :hug:

[Seabiscuit]

36. If you can write what you wrote, you're no loser, Mermaid!

I take exception to the fundamental assumption that is causing you to beat up on yourself. You said: "The rotten economy cause by George W Bush has led to it becoming impossible for me to locate decent-paying steady, full-tiime employment that will sustain me any longer. And that makes me a loser."

That does NOT make you a loser. It makes you a victim of a cruel cabal of criminal sociopaths.

A loser would be someone who has suffered as you have and yet refuses to acknowledge reality, instead still obeying his minister who tells him to vote for Bush.

I feel for you. You're not alone. By a long shot. And the Bushies can't last forever. We're going to kick them through the goalposts of hell in 2008!

Kudos to you for taking stock of your current situation and making plans to better your life and your mom's life.

[mermaid]

37. Thanks

I'd like to clean it up a bit, and maybe make it into an article, and have it posted on DU.

Because it's coming for almost all of us. We're going to be the losers in this new 'murikan economy Bush is building.

And I'm not being hard on myself. I just recognize it for what it is.

I lost. A fixed fight against a ruthless enemy, but, still, I lost.

Not that many could win against the machine Bush has set in motion. And THAT is the point I was trying to make.

[Seabiscuit]

39. Gotcha. Just try to cheer up. Going back to college isn't a bad idea in

a time like this. Who knows what doors it may open up to you?

I suppose I'm one of the lucky ones. I became self-employed during the Reagan depression for similar reasons - fortunately, I'm in a field (law) where if you have enough spunk and determination to acquire the business sense necessary to survive, there are plenty of ways to make a living without ever having to be dependent on an employer again. And none of them involve compromising any principles - in fact, much of what I do involves making the bastards that keep the Bushies in power pay through their corporate noses.

[mermaid]

40. And THAT Is What I Am Going Back To School For

Already have some credit hours and 4.0 GPA towards a degree in Paralegal/Political Science (double major)

And I want to get that so I can GET FUCKING EVEN with all the bastards who got me to this point. they will be fucking sorry they ever beat me down this low, because now they have pissed me off, and made me determined to GET EVEN.

I will not stop until I make the corporate bastards PAY for sucking the life out of me, and out of decent Americans everywhere!

[Seabiscuit]

41. Good for you. Constructive anger can be the best motivation to do well.

Make the bastards pay and pay and pay for what they and their ilk did to you and countless others, including your clients.

It's more than enough to make you want to get out bed in the morning.

[mermaid]

42. Damn Right!! n/t