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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 09:18 AM
Original message
WHAT'S YOUR SOUTHERN SIGN?
I'm a Catfish on the cusp of Grits, a tasty combination.
dumya* is a Possum (with all due apologies to Possums everywhere).


Some Southerners are pretty skeptical of horoscopes and the people that read them. If we are to ever fully understand all the star signs and the people they represent, we need symbols that all true Southerners understand:


OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Are tough on the outside but tender on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. You can do something good each day if you try.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A Chitlin, however, will make something of himself if he is motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful they may surprise you. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb 20 - March 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if you had some inner hunger. You love to stay busy and tend to work too much. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (March 21 - April 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. A cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. You always have a big smile and are happy. This might be the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.

POSSUM (April 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems ! to work for you. You are a rare breed. Most folks love to watch you work and play. You are a night person and mind your own business.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office, you're hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, and the bathtub to the living room. You tend not to be particularly attractive physically, but you have very, very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in "the melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists, and baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although one's whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You Catfish are never easy people to understand. You run fast. You work and play hard. Even though you prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life, you are liked by most. Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug 24 - Sept 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself. You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining a club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese, gravy, bacon, butter, or eggs and a good time. If you can go somewhere where they have all these things, that serves you well. You are pure in heart.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept 24 - Oct 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man. Unfortunately, those who know you best, your friends and loved ones, may find that your personality is much too salty, and their criticism will affect you deeply because you are really muc! h softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct 24 - Nov 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean to a party because Butter Beans get along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite gentle and kind inside. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms, and insects. You are a throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends. You're not concerned with anything about today. You're almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but a Possum is another somewhat kinky mating possibility.
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libertad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 09:20 AM
Response to Original message
1. Catfish
on the cusp of collards
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 09:21 AM
Response to Original message
2. Shrub's a Collard .. July 6th
COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to get in "the melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those around them. Collards make good ... baseball managers. As far as your personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay away from Crawfish. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.


:silly:


:hippie:
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
30. AAAHHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGGG!!
I share a zodiac with the asterisk!!

Ye Gods! Somebody slit my wrists now, please! *Holds out arms wrists up*
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Lindsay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 09:24 AM
Response to Original message
3. *Chortle*
I'm a Moon Pie with Crawfish rising.

And of course I had to send this to my most southern e-pal in Louisiana. Thanks for the chuckle.
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Rowdyboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 10:57 AM
Response to Original message
4. A boll Weevil living with a crawfish
My parents were a couple of possums....And some people don't believe astronomy is a science! :eyes:
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catpower2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:04 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. Uh, astronomy IS a science...
Astrology is debatable, however. :)

Cat
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DemExpat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:27 AM
Response to Reply #4
14. I'm also a Boll Weevil living (for 30 years) with a Crawfish!
:hi:

DemEx
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GumboYaYa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
5. Thanks for making me laugh.
I'm a butter bean and I ate buter beans for dinner Sunday night. If the shoe fits.....
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catpower2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:03 AM
Response to Original message
6. Butter bean!
Heh.
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curlyred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:06 PM
Response to Reply #6
19. me, too
:)
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-03 08:14 AM
Response to Reply #6
41. "Just A Bowl of Butter Beans"
(To the tune of "Just a Closer Walk with Thee")

Just a bowl of butter beans.
Pass the cornbread if you please.
I don't want no collared greens,
Just a bowl of good ol' butter beans.

Just a slice of country ham.
Grits and gravy, thank you mam.
I'm afraid I'll bust my jeans
if I eat another bowl of butter beans.

Sushi's bait, it seems to me.
Quiche Lorraine won't set you free.
As I ponder southern scenes,
What I need is a bowl of butter beans.

And a big glass of sweet tea.
;-)




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trotsky Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:04 AM
Response to Original message
7. Okra!
And it just so happens I looooove fried okra. Already this Southern astrology has more going for it than the "real" thing.
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ronzo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #7
12. yeah, I'm okra...
Edited on Tue Oct-07-03 11:30 AM by ronzoNOLA
That's about right... :)

edit: just clarifyin' :)
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:04 AM
Response to Original message
9. I'm a boiled peanut
*snort*

Eerily accurate too. *cue Twilight Zone theme music*
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #9
35. Me too!
REALLY EERILY ACCURATE!!! Nee-noo-nee-noo!!!
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:10 AM
Response to Original message
10. Hi! My name is Collards
:hi: LOL! This is funny! And I am a communicator! That's what's so funny!
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Punkingal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:14 AM
Response to Original message
11. Armadillo......
Married to a boll weevil, so I guess I'm not in my right mind. LOL
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LSdemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
13. okra
but, on a semi-related note

mmm. . . boiled peanuts.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
15. Catfish...
... and it looks like it fits, for the most part.
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Blue-Jay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
16. Armadillo
I can live with that. At least it's a cool-looking little guy.
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KCDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
17. crawfish here!
Guess that means I'm ugly but smart. :shrug:
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TXlib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #17
21. I'll second that.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 11:56 AM
Response to Original message
18. boiled peanut here
just had a birthday
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TXlib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:09 PM
Response to Original message
20. If you're really a southerner, then you know...
what the proper mate to a moon pie is.
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supernova Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:12 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. No RC
on this zodiac. You're right, TXlib!
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Kenneth ken Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:37 PM
Response to Reply #20
27. Thas why us Moonpies
have sech a hard time findin someone tuh marry - we got no proper mates!

:silly:
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youngred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:24 PM
Response to Original message
23. MOON PIE?!?
5'11" 120lbs and they call me round! how dare they! The marrying anybody who'll have me though sounds accurate. I don't match much of my real sign either :shrug:
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leftist_rebel1569 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #23
31. same here...
I'm a moon pie and i'm 6'0 and 125 pounds. The only part I agree with is the "it's not gonna be easy", especially in that context...
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youngred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:57 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Silly Ladies
*great guys waiting for a date over here*

Oh, I'm sorry...I forgot you'd rather fuck the dickhead who's dating someone else and then cry on my shoulder about what jerks guys are
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leftist_rebel1569 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 06:12 PM
Response to Reply #32
36. this is kind of a stupid question...
but did something like that happen to you?
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youngred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. too many times to count
Zack: Hey, would you to get coffee sometime.
Girl X: Yeah, we should sometime. I'll call you.
-Girl X Calls-
Girl X: Zack I have to talk to you
Zack: Ok, What's up.
Girl X: Well I hooked up with this guy last night and can you imagine the creep has a girlfriend alrady!
Zack +Girl X: advice/agree men are assholes/talk/good conversation
Girl X: Oh Zack you are the best guy in the world, I don't know why you don't have a girlfriend.
Zack:uh...thanks
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
24. Oh Lord I'm a Moon Pie!
I love moon pies!
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Kenneth ken Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
25. MOONPIE
WOO-HOO gimme an RC Cola with it and I'm good to go (out to the porch)
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VOX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
26. How-dee-do, another Moon Pie rollin' in here, jes' a-porch-settin'...
Actually, I was way too thin most of my life. Better with a little weight on, actually.

And I've never had any trouble with the ladies, thank you very much.

Go Moon Pies! :toast:
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DEM FAN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
28. Butter Bean.
:-)
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RebelOne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 05:49 PM
Response to Original message
29. I'm Okra on the cusp of Chitlin
But I'm not really a Southerner. Was born in Pennsylvania and raised in Miami, FL. And just moved to Atlanta, GA in 1989. Also Miami cannot be classified as a real Southern area, as there are more transplanted Northerners there than native Floridians, plus even more transplanted Hispanics than anyone else.
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peacefreak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 06:00 PM
Response to Original message
33. YYYYYEEEEEEE-HHHHHAAAAA
little 'ole butterbean reporting in.
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populistmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
34. Chitlin
I suppose the only thing I see accurately in this description is "They can erupt like Vesuvius". I tend to seem like one of those cool as a cumcumber people, but there's always a lot under the surface that boils over be it passion, anger, joy, or whatever. I can be very emotional underneath it all.
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Padraig18 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-07-03 06:25 PM
Response to Original message
37. I'm a boll weevil who...
... lives with a butter bean. :P
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-10-03 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
39. I'm a boiled peanut!
Could it be more appropriate?! I'm also the peanut farmer from Plains! :hi:
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Piperay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-10-03 03:26 AM
Response to Original message
40. I'm a grit
some of what is says is true but I'm a vegetarian so I am sure not interested in bacon, gravy or eggs, though I do love cheese :9 and travel. :-)
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spinkbottle Donating Member (31 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-03 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
42. Butter beans!
Married to a Catfish. Suddenly, I feel hungry.

:-)
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Cosmic_Latte Donating Member (505 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-03 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
43. Armadillo here
Fun... I'm prehistoric! :-)
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scarlet_owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-03 11:32 AM
Response to Original message
44. I'm an Okra, almost a Chitlin
I love fried okra, but I'll pass on chitlins.
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kodi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-03 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
45. i was born under the sign of a papst blue ribbon advert.
a true southerner and drunkard.
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Dogmudgeon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-11-03 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
46. Day-im!
Possum.

This Dixiescope is way more accurate than my Horoscope.

Are you sure it hasn't been denounced, disparaged and debunked in the Skeptical Inquirer yet?

--bkl
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