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Am I on the no-fly list .. and why? Not what you think.

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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:31 PM
Original message
Am I on the no-fly list .. and why? Not what you think.
I am not a clothes horse. I buy relatively cheap jeans on the internet and wear them out. However, I did develop a penchant for Calvin Kline boxer shorts when I was still flying. I would get stuck in DC for a couple of weeks at a time (when I was commuting from Dallas), run out of clean undies, and run over to Nordstrom's at Pentagon City for clean underwear. I'd buy the gray Calvin Kline knit boxer shorts (a compromise between tighty-whiteys and loosey-gooseys).

Last month I had a very embarrassing incident (like a Flannery O'Conner story). I went to Dallas (1000 miles) to see my good doctor for my annual physical. When I "dropped trousers" I felt a breeze on my butt. My undies were in tatters! Horror! What did he think of me then?

So, I recently ordered 10 pair of CK undies on the internet @ $195. I know, I know .. but I don't need that lecture tonight. I took a pair out of the box and tried it on. Perfect fit. I took the other nine pairs out of their boxes and threw them all in the washer.

Clean, new undies. Great! I put on the first pair this morning. Good fit! Nice bulge, etc.! Then I took my B/P meds, including a diuretic. Within an hour I had to pee. No problem-o. Oh no, big problem-o! The $19.95 Calvin Kline underwear had no fly! I mean, WTF? How am I supposed to get my Leanon-Portadine out to do it's Watson trick? This is total BS!

Dear reader, what should I do? Boo-hoo, boo-hoo.
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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:32 PM
Response to Original message
1. I don't know, could you provide us a photo?
It's a start, we'll go from there.
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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:49 PM
Response to Reply #1
7. What pose please?
Edited on Wed Feb-02-05 07:56 PM by DemoTex
My complaints are with the frontal aspects of this product, however the rear aspects do seem to enhance the, well, ass.
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madison2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. I think we've all learned something about Calvin Klein tonight
a moment of silence please
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. HA HA HA, oh LOL
MAC YOU ARE IN DIRE NEED OF A SKITTLES ASS-KICKING; next time you're in Dallas look me up, I will ALWAYS be able to accommodate you! :7
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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:53 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Should I wear my new underwear for my ass-kicking?
Important question, that. Maybe just a little spanking will do .. eh? Let's see .. I'll be back in Dallas in two weeks. Get your rack ready, Skitt.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 08:13 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. LOL
:hi:
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Catch22Dem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:37 PM
Response to Original message
4. $195 and NO FLY?
I suppose it would be kinda nasty to return them. HAHAHAHAHAHA :evilgrin:
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greatauntoftriplets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:38 PM
Response to Original message
5. LMAO....men's shorts without a fly???
I wonder why.....
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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:58 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. Women must run the company.
Revenge. I now, too, have to sit down to pee. Bummer.
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greatauntoftriplets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 08:01 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. I was thinking that when I posted ....
but decided to bite my tongue, LOL.
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Toby109 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:45 PM
Response to Original message
6. You sure you didn't order
the Eunuch Classic style?

:evilgrin:
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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 07:55 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Maybe they are panties!
Damn! I threw the boxes away. Shit-fire!
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 08:11 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. C'mon DemoTex
:wtf: Please tell me you're pulling a...
OH NEVER MIND!!! SOMEBODY CALL CALVIN!!!!!
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DemoTex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 08:32 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. I ain't pulling nothing tonight! Nothing!
Edited on Wed Feb-02-05 08:32 PM by DemoTex
Between the Atenolol and Shiraz, there is nothing to pull. Believe me.
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. WHAT DID THEY DO?
OUTSOURCE THIS SHIT? GET ME CALVIN ON THE LINE. PERSONALLY.
I MEAN NOW!
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short bus president Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 08:04 PM
Response to Original message
12. got a pocket knife? cut yer own fly.
take the shorts off first, tho.

;-)

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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-02-05 08:19 PM
Response to Reply #12
15. yo
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