Finding a date

[Mizmoon]

Hey no, not for me. Mr. Mizmoon would be very sad if I started dating again. It's for a friend.

The honest 411:

She's not that great looking, but not a dog either... sort of plain. Proportional weight. She's well educated (MBA). Makes a bundle. Still lives at home and is (gulp) 42 years old. I'm about 99% sure she's a virgin. Conservative, Catholic, sweet in her own kind of way. She's watching her clock tick down, folks, and getting very nervous about it.

Do you think I should encourage her to try a dating service? How do I help her? She tried a Catholic singles group, but it was all guys looking to get laid. She's looking for Mr. Right.

I hate to see people lonely, even conservatives. Maybe if she had some love she'd be more liberal. Any ideas?

[bobbobbins]

1. wow, that story depresses me

poor woman...I hope she finds someone, and i wish you the best of luck in locating a good man for her.

[crispini]

2. Encourage her to get involved with a cause or a hobby that she enjoys.

That's a good place to start, simply getting out and making friends in a group of people she enjoys.

Also she should move out. I'd think that THAT would be a big turn off to a lot of guys.

A dating service worked for a friend of mine, but I've tried a couple and HATED them. Also online dating is not really all that horrible, although the trick with online dating is to meet them ASAP to make sure that they ARE what they say they are.

Edited to add: there are so many online dating sites out there, she should surf several and pick one that sort of fits who she is. Yahoo and Match and the more generic ones are NOT the way to go (Unless she's a more generic person, heh.)

There's a good book called "Be Your Own Dating Service" that she might enjoy.

The trick with dating is to just get out and do a lot of it. And have a pretty good sense of the kind of guys that work for you. One has to sort of toughen up, because there are a lot of "two dates and I'm outta here" guys out there as well. It's horrible, but there ya go.

HTH!
C

[Mizmoon]

5. that's what I was wondering

I hear all the commercials for eharmony and match, but I would hate to throw her into a lion's den (so to speak ... heh heh heh) Maybe a smaller service would be better.

The book is a good idea... I'll get it for her.

ty

[flvegan]

3. Whoa...wait...Catholic singles group that was just

a bunch of guys looking to get laid? I thought those good Catholics were all about abstaining. What happened to the moral majority? Family values?

I blame it all on Spongebob and his questionable morals.

Seriously, though, I wish her the best of luck. Being lonely does suck.

[Aiptasia]

4. A vibrator and stock in "Energizer" batteries?

She has to want to get out and meet people. Let's face it, she's quite comfortable in the little shell of a life she's made for herself.

It is a scary world out there, but she has to want to make some changes first before she's going to have any hope of landing a man. A big hurdle are the sexuality issues. If she's a virgin, she's probably petrified to death at the thought of actual sex (with another person). Since she's Catholic, you're going to have deflate a double whammy as papist doctrine belives in "no sex before marriage."

My suggestion would be therapy with a female counsellor. But only if this is something that she really wants (as in, a goal she wants to acheive).

If it isn't, or if this is your own personal pity party for her, forget it.

[Mizmoon]

6. How would you know anything about it?

I happen to know for a fact that you aiptasia reproduce asexually, which is the world's all time bummer if you ask me. :p

The "pity party" comment was snotty, btw.

[Aiptasia]

10. Because i'm so reproductive

Just try to get me off your live rock.. Mwahahaha!

Yeah but this is a guy showing nothing but pity for a friend of his wondering how he can "fix her up?"

Maybe she don't wanna get fixed up. Maybe she's holding out for Cardinal Biggles.

IMHO, friends who interfere in the intimate relationships/affairs of others are doing more harm than good. Thus the pity party comment.

The only way i'd get involved would be if she walked up to me and said "how do I fix my life?"

And my response would be the same, "Go see a counsellor."

[Worst Username Ever]

7. 42, makes a bundle... and lives at home?

I think she has other issues she needs to worry about before dating. This is a situation that any self respecting man would run - not walk - from. Other than being sweet and not-bad looking, what does she have to offer? It does not seem like a very apeeling package. Have her find a place and have a life before she decides to try sharing it with someone else.

[Mizmoon]

8. hmmmm ....

Cash? :)


True enough. She works all the time too.

Maybe I should get her self-help books.

[bobbobbins]

9. Does she live at home because her parents need care?

or is there another reason?

[Mizmoon]

11. Sort of

Her father is ill and her mother depends on her to help with him. However, they could afford paid help if my friend put her foot down.

[Murphys_Unlawful]

12. Got one for you!

[Ready4Change]

13. Does she have hobbies or other interests?

Ask her this: If she knew for a fact she was destined to never find a soulmate, what would she choose to do for the rest of her life? What would she do for entertainment? What goals would she strive to achieve?

Then kick her in the a** and tell her to get on with life.

My theory is this: The human species is wired to reward those who live actively, and demote those who merely exist. People who are vigorously involved with activities are more attractive, and more likely to find others attractive.

I know countless people who couldn't find love, gave up and started living their own lives when WHAM! Love hit them like a hammer.

Think about it. Which sounds more attractive? Someone who sits like a lump by the phone, hoping to get a call as if by magic? Or someone who lives and breaths to create quilts, or to write the next great American novel, or to race sailboats, or to make millions in real estate, or to ride every wooden rollercoaster in the world, or...?

Get the picture?

[SarahB]

14. I have no clue.

I can't even imagine that existence. :scared:

I don't mean to say this in a bad way, but perhaps her discovering her own sexuality more in a solo way (with whatever necessary equipment) would make her more comfortable with her own sexuality enough to venture forth with another person. It's sad that someone would make a choice to miss so much of what life has to offer. :(

[radwriter0555]

15. The BEST way to meet a good man is to VOLUNTEER at an organization

for whom you are passionate.

It doesn't matter what it is... but you he/she/they will be around other people who are equally passionate about something in common.

Now, if one wants to meet a wealthy person, one patronizes those charities that attract the wealthy; such as the arts; museum, symphony, etc.

IF one likes kids, work at a children's hospital.

If one likes animals, then at the animal shelter.

It works, I promise.