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No, I am not making this up -- I have the page saved: US 2004 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION
Item number: 3622585798
Current bid: US $99,999,999.00
Time left: 3 days 16 hours
7-day listing
Ends Aug-22-03 05:15:15 PDT
History: 17 bids (US $0.01 starting bid)
High bidder: User ID kept private
Location: New York, NY
United States /New York
SELLING:
US 2004 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION
Come one come all, welcome to the 2nd presidental auction! This will be the second consecutive presidential election up for sale! It could quite possibly be the last, because every subsequent election will be STOLEN rather than bought! It's even quite possible this election will be stolen, so supplies are extremely limited!
The following package is not guarenteed with a winning bid, however, if the past presidential auction is any indication as to the extent of perks you will receive, then I'm sure you will be quite happy with your product. The last auction came with the following items:
* Presidential Status legitimate enough for mass-media to endorse you, which is all that matters anymore
* The ability to give kickbacks and government-funded programs to your former employers and friends, up to $7-billion in uncontested government contracts!
* The ears of powerful, unelected government administration officials who's rulings carry the weight of laws
* The rights of your citizens, seized through the DMCA and Patriot Acts
* The invalidation of the first ammendment to the United States Constitution, specifically the freedom to speak your mind without fear of the FBI, CIA, SWAT teams, or other law enforcement agencies abducting you and holding you without just cause for an extended period of time.
* The complete invalidation of the fourth ammendment to the United States Constitution, which ensures that all americans are "secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures," also acquired "legitimately" through the passing of the Patriot Act and the merging of corporate and government databases
* The ability to use a nation's poor and underprivelaged to wage war on foreign powers, expanding US power and protecting the interests of large capitalist tycoons.
* Privelage of jingoisticly increasing military spending, giving the federal military a budget so obscene that it no longer needs to answer to congress.
* Ability to give out $billions in weapons contracts while unemployment rises, offshoring becomes commonplace, and the proletariat find themselves with fewer and fewer options.
* Selective hearing - the ability to listen to a few rich men who have a clearly defined conflict of interests in issues, while simultaneously ignoring the millions of dissenters. The selective hearing ensures that this is carried out in a guilt-free manner.
* The distinguished position of being the only president to approach Lincoln in quantity of civil liberties stolen from the hands of the constituents or constitutional bounds overceded
* Despotic control over the lives of hundreds of millions.
* The possibility of being the president that eventually illicits the individual states to attempt to take back the powers that were constitutionally reserved to them by our fore-fathers. The attempt will be short-lived, as state militia have been all but banned and all power has accrued into federal hands over the past century. The subsequent post-skirmish situation would allow for the seizure of more powers from a complacent media-brainwashed pool of citizens.
* The locking up of the three boxes available to American Citizens through which they can change their government: the jury box, the ballot box, and the cartridge box, thereby leaving Americans with no way to change their government at all.
* You get to live in a big white building surrounded by gates, fly in planes, wear bomber jackets, and look altogether cool in front of millions of registered voters
* Luxury of playing softball on the back lawn with media present to photograph your rosy picture of America, while soldiers die to support your unquenchable greed
* Access to TV camaras and stuff, where you can say,, "You're either with us, or against us", turning all political dissent into anti-american leftist terrorist rhetoric.
The insecurities associated with the Diebold voting machines, being instilled in many US states, will make stea^H^H^H^Hwinning this bid easier than ever! Wake up America... don't waive your rights with your flags.
Shipping and payment details
Shipping and handling: See description above or contact the seller for more information
Buyer pays for all shipping costs
Will ship to United States only.
Seller's payment instructions:
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