DEAR ABBY,

[umtalal]

My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest.

Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more.

Also, he has gotten religious in a big way, although I don't quite understand it. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ.

And now he has been going to the gym an awful lot and is into wearing uniforms and cowboy outfits, and I hate to think what that means.

Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?

Signed, Lost in DC

DEAR LOST: Stop whining, Laura. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with him for four more years!

[Renew Deal]

1. Did you write this?

Is there a link?

[umtalal]

3. No, I didn't write it. I received it in my email.

[tsakshaug]

2. Reminds me of a song

sort of off topic

Dear Abby
©John Prine



Dear Abby, Dear Abby ...
My feet are too long
My hair's falling out and my rights are all wrong
My friends they all tell me that I've no friends at all
Won't you write me a letter, Won't you give me a call
     Signed Bewildered


Bewildered, Bewildered...
Chorus:
You have no complaint
You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't
So listen up Buster, and listen up good
Stop wishing for bad luck and knocking on wood


Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
My fountain pen leaks
My wife hollers at me and my kids are all freaks
Every side I get up on is the wrong side of bed
If it weren't so expensive I'd wish I were dead
  Signed Unhappy


Unhappy, Unhappy...
Repeat Chorus


Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
You won't believe this
But my stomach makes noises whenever I kiss
My girlfriend tells me It's all in my head
But my stomach tells me to write you instead
  Signed Noise-maker


Noise-maker, Noise-maker
Repeat Chorus


Dear Abby, Dear Abby...
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
   Signed Just Married


Just Married, Just Married...
Repeat Chorus

[Magrittes Pipe]

4. Dear Abby

(by Dead Kennedys)

Dear Abby,
Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. It's important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. But we just can't afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home some choice cuts from my autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper, and ta-da!

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what's my secret. Abby, I think they're getting suspicious. My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps asking, "Where's all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge."

If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what do I tell my family?

DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM:
Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body's blessed and everything should be just fine.

[Patiod]

5. I passed this around to my friends

Funny stuff.