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Because I hate you and don't respect your space, I'm smoking in the Lounge

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:53 PM
Original message
Because I hate you and don't respect your space, I'm smoking in the Lounge
Cigarettes, cigars, pipes, the whole works. I've got 'em all burning and I'm blowing the smoke in your face, too. I'm also wearing my hat, a cheap plastic redneck freeper-filth red Copenhagen baseball hat, even though we're inside, and I'm spitting tobacco on the floor. Oh, my leg is also propped up over the arm of the chair and I'm scratching myself and I've spilled six Millers already onto the astroturf that I'm using for an inside rug.

So there.
Nyah.

:P
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Worst Username Ever Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:54 PM
Response to Original message
1. Just keep your shoes off the table.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Dude, where do you think they landed when I kicked them off?
I had to kick the shoes off cuz they was covered in manure or someone's blood or something, and I needed to use my pocketknife to pick out the crud under the toenails and peel off some of the calluses and blisters. I don't know why they get so damned dirty.
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RevolutionaryActs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
2. *cough, cough* *gag* *hack* *die*
:P
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:55 PM
Response to Original message
3. Hey there... Can I have a light?
:smoke:
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Joe Power Donating Member (778 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'll just sit next to you and fart.
Edited on Tue Jan-11-05 06:57 PM by Joe Power
Ever smell what a bowl of raisin bran washed down with a whey protein and egg smoothie can do?
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Thor_MN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #5
34. What?? No onions or peppers to back up the egg sulpher?
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:01 PM
Response to Original message
6. This is the type of thread I love
:smoke:
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Ready4Change Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:02 PM
Response to Original message
7. I don't mind.
Just as I'm sure you won't mind me pissing in your beers.

Cheers!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:04 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Go right ahead! I just pissed in my pants and on the chair
and on the floor and all over my hand as well.

Why bother getting up? I just whip it out and let 'er fly.
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Joe Chi Minh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:21 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. So you're not a gentleman, then?
You don't get out of the bath to have a slash?
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:00 PM
Response to Reply #11
19. Depends on what you mean by gentleman.
And who takes a bath? Gross.
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Spinzonner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:13 PM
Response to Original message
9. Is that the best you can do

That wouldn't even get you onto Shrub's 'ranch'
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sendero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
10. I think...
... I'll light up a Camel. I hope nobody minds :)
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fluffernutter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:30 PM
Response to Original message
12. okay, who are you and what have you done w/Rabrrrrrr?
:P
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Bunny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:49 PM
Response to Original message
13. Fine. If that's how you're gonna be, I'm just gonna bring out ALL of my
fabulous, collectable, Thomas Kincaide paintings! And decorate the Lounge with them! So there! :P
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:56 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. That's fine! I'm already flinging my feces around and playing rap music
really loudly on my boombox. Might as well add some paintings to destroy, too.

Did I mention that I'm also chewing on a toothpick like some toothless, barely literate idiot who shows all the signs of having had a mom addicted to crack during the pregnancy?
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ornotna Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:56 PM
Response to Original message
14. I don't give a rat fart what you do
Hey, I don't have to live with you....you do. :evilgrin:
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:56 PM
Response to Original message
16. Good thing my baby's at grandma's...
...or I'd kick your ass!!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:01 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. Go right ahead!!
You coyuld only do it by kicking through the old dusty cheeto-laden lazy-boy I'm sitting on anyway, and you don't want to know what your foot would have to travel through first.
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Bill Lumbergh Donating Member (191 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:58 PM
Response to Original message
17. Hee-hee
I lobbied Pataki with the American Lung Association to pass the cigarette ban in NYS.

Now you guys can't smoke in any public place. I love it. Clean air, finally. It just angered me for years when people would smoke in restaurants and bowling alleys and I would have to breathe that putrid stench.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
18. You, sir, are disgusting.
but funny.


:evilgrin:
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #18
33. No no no. I'm funny, but disgusting.
There's a difference.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
21. Mmmm. I'm surprised I'm not coughing. I'll bet you are though.
Edited on Tue Jan-11-05 09:03 PM by NNadir
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:03 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Yeah, there's some coughing. But I just spit the mucous
on the floor, like my granny.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:11 PM
Response to Reply #22
23. I'm not cleaning it up. I think I'll just leave the room.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:12 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. Did I mention the scratching? I just want to make sure you all
know that I'm scratching. I'm also scratching some scabies I have on my arm from when that dork-ass Todd burned me with his splif at the Maiden concert. Oh, god, that was hilarious!

Plus the other scratching.
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:15 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. I hope you can hear me as I call out from the next room while putting my
coat on to leave...but those weren't lice were they?
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:17 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. Probably. That's what my social worker thought,
but then she's just a dumb bitch, so who knows? And who cares? They don't bother me, I don't bother them, and I think they keep my hair clean.
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mtnsnake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 09:17 PM
Response to Original message
26. You're the reason I hate people
:evilgrin: :yourock:

:smoke:
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:58 AM
Response to Original message
28. Whew! Musta passed out for a while from the sterno, but I'm awake again,
and firing up some fine baccy (brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp brrrrrrrp buuuuuuurrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppPPPPPPPPPppppppp) products (hack hack spit).

Looks I pissed myself overnight, too. Oh well - not like I'm not used to it. LOL!!

Hey - Ma - throw me a beer, would ya? It's almost 9 am!
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dolo amber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 10:02 AM
Response to Original message
29. Just remember to put the seat down in the loo, sweetie
:hi:
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #29
30. Oh, right. Like I'm going to get out of my chair and WALK to what amounts
to just another chair just to go to the bathroom?

I don't think so.

I'm already in a chair, sweetie.
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dolo amber Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 10:15 AM
Response to Reply #30
31.  I've never thought of it that way!
YAY! I'm going to soil myself right now! :D
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 04:07 PM
Response to Reply #31
32. Excellent! Send pictures.
But don't send 'em to me. Anyway, here: have another Schlitz while I loudly pass gas and spit some more bloody phlegm at the TV.
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greatauntoftriplets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:04 PM
Response to Original message
35. Cough, cough, cough....
Opening the windows. I don't care how chilly and wet it is outside.
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:04 PM
Response to Original message
36. I just scratched my hemorroids, looked at my finger-- eeww...
...and wiped it on your curtains.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:46 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. Good idea - the curtains are the main area for wiping
Can't tell you much pus I've wiped there from sores and STDs and these zits that are like the size of the craters on the moon. Man, those were big! Should have seen the shit fly out of 'em when ma popped 'em with a barbie pin. And those were just the acne on my ass!

Yeah, all sorts of shit in those curtains. I think Pneumatic Tom used to wipe his dick on it when he had VD and I know great granddad used 'em for his boils.
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-13-05 12:12 AM
Response to Reply #38
39. I bow before a true master....
You are The One.
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Thor_MN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-12-05 09:05 PM
Response to Original message
37. Nothing that the firehose and the dumpster can't handle when you're done
I'm gonna be wearing the bio-hazard suit with the self-contained air supply when I hose out the place, mind you, but whatever... Just let me know when.
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