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I need help -- When someone lies to you or about you

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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:17 AM
Original message
I need help -- When someone lies to you or about you
when that trust is broken is there any way of recovery?
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shraby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:19 AM
Response to Original message
1. Yup, impeach the liar.
If it's your personal life, you'll have to work it out in your mind to your satisfaction. Think long and hard and ask yourself if you can live with what you decide. Once you decide, don't look back.
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:21 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. What if the liar is your boss?
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bettyellen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:26 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. can't trust them again.
fool ya twice, shame on you.
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shraby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:29 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. If it's your boss,
he kinda holds the majority of the cards. If the lie was concerning something illegal, it may be time to look for a new boss. If it wasn't, just file the info away so you can use it for reference in future dealings with your boss as to whether what is being said has credence or not.
Some people you have to take with a grain of salt because a lot of what they say is untrue..or borders on an untruth, like exaggeration. Some people you can go to the bank on what they say.

Most fall somewhere in between these two.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:27 AM
Response to Original message
4. if you try to understand why they lied
and fix that misperception; yes, it can be done
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donheld Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:36 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. Thank you everybody for your responses
She lied about me on my review and i've been going through hell ever since. I can and will rebut the review but it's still quite painful. Lucky for me the review is written so poorly it's almost laughable. Wouldn't you know shes a bible beater.
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last1standing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:07 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. If someone tells me they're a "christian" without my asking
I immediately register them in my mind as someone to watch out for. It's never fails that those who proclaim their "values" never actually have them.

Note: There are many good christians, I'm only talking about the "bible beaters".
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Seldona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 03:33 AM
Response to Original message
6. Not in my opinion.
Life is to short to deal with people like that. I am sure it has to do with my upbringing, but I have no tolerance for people who 'betray' my confidence.

I have never, and will never, betray another. And I expect the same from my friends and family.

And I never look back once I have made my decision either. Ever.

Just my 2 cents.
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last1standing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:04 AM
Response to Original message
8. As with everything, it depends on the people involved
and circumstances of the lie. If your boss lied on a review, I'd probably say the trust is broken forever. This person not only broke your trust, but endangered your method of acquiring sustenance. I hold those who would jeopardize another person's livelihood without a very good reason to be the lowest form of life.
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Magrittes Pipe Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-11-05 07:23 AM
Response to Original message
10. People lie about me all the time.
But those are people I never trusted to begin with, so I don't really care. ;)

The people who matter to me don't lie ABOUT me. If they did, I don't think the trust could be rebuilt. If they lied TO me -- it really depends on a) their reasons for doing it, and b) the magnitude of the lie.

Not that it would be easy, for anything other than a little white lie, but people have reasons for doing what they do. I'd try to learn those reasons before permanently shutting someone out.
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