Gay Penguin for President

[Ian David]

Gay Penguin: Just as Good
Two of the Bush is worth a bird in the White House:

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things." - President George Bush, aboard Air Force One, June 4, 2003

Many commentators will observe that Gay Penguin himself is not very analytical, nor does he spend time thinking about himself and why he does things. You see, Charles Darwin once wrote about animal intellect:

"It may be freely admitted that no animal is self-conscious, if by this term it is implied that he reflects on such points, as whence he comes or whither he will go, or what is life and death, and so forth." - Darwin, "The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex."

So, if this lack of self awareness is, as Mr. Bush suggests, a political strength, surely no one can "out penguin" an "out penguin"?

But there's more. As we know, a penguin has no real depth of understanding regarding his own death, or the death of others. But perhaps you will agree that Gay Penguin's grasp on such matters is at least as intelligent as Bush's. Consider this thought, but instead of coming from the president of the united states, coming from a telepathic communication with a penguin:

"Look at these different places around the world where there's been tremendous death and destruction because killers kill." - President George Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2004

While an animal like a monkey or elephant may be able to understand death as well as Mr. Bush does- that indeed, what a killer does is kill things- a Penguin might, too. You see, something that Mr. Bush, a Monkey, an Elephant and a Penguin all have in common is that they are all mammals ahem- creatures of instinct. So, it would be safe to say that yes, a Penguin, too, understands that "killers kill."

That's why Gay Penguin walks away from loud, scary people, as well as any natural predator, such as the terrorist Leopard Seal, which eats penguins alive because it "hates freedom".




More:
http://www.gaypenguinforamerica.com/

[Ekirh]

1. On Foreign Policy:

George W Bush has alienated our allies, including France, Germany, and the United Nations. Under Gay Penguin's leadership, they would not be in an adverserial position today. Who could feel culturally threatened by a Gay Penguin?


Ahhh I remember this website, decent humor.