Women Accused Of Sexually Assaulting Man With Cooking Tongs

[matcom]

<snip>

SAVANNAH, Ga. Dec 22, 2004 — Police are looking for two women they say sexually assaulted a man with a pair of cooking tongs in a drug-related attack.

Savannah-Chatham Metropolitan police say the victim, a 25-year-old man, awoke Saturday morning with a metal object protruding from his body.

The victim, who police say was using cocaine at the time, told police he does not remember much of what happened.

He told doctors he was drinking and using cocaine at his mobile home Friday night when he saw two women outside his home and invited them in.

The victim's cousin took him to Memorial Health University Medical Center Saturday after he complained of pain. Doctors surgically removed an object identified as "one half of a pair of food tongs," and turned it over to police.

No information was available on the man's condition, according to a hospital spokesman.

The two women are wanted on aggravated sexual battery charges, but police say they aren't having much luck finding them.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=352954

[Coventina]

1. Ahhhh.....Christmas is now complete......

Maybe they were trying to enact a scene from "Bachelor Party"
but didn't have an eggbeater.....

[nickgutierrez]

2. Now THAT'S kinky.

I want whatever that guy had.

[matcom]

3. heh

you sure?

[DS1]

4. Not that you

oh nevermind :7

[matcom]

5. Dear Sir,

I'm writing to inform you that cooking tongs don't make sex better, rather COCAINE and cooking tongs make sex better.

:D

[nickgutierrez]

16. He didn't even remember.

It MUST have been good.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

6. That Santa can be such a bitch!

I'm sleeping face up tonight!

[name not needed]

7. Kinky

I've never fucked someone with cooking utensils before. Renee! Don't move, I'm getting the wooden spoon!

[ET Awful]

18. Forget the spoon, everyone knows the best kitchen utensil for personal

use is an eggbeater :)

[name not needed]

20. Eep.

Renee! Get the spoon out of your ass! I found an eggbeater!

[MrScorpio]

8. Savannah is the perfect place for this shit

Damn, I hate it when that happens

[Osamasux]

9. Is this going to be like a Cinderella story

and they'll go looking for whoever has the other half of the pair of tongs?

[Twillig]

10. I am not going to make any "tossed salad" comment.

nope.

[Deb]

11. He said tongue.

She heard tong. Ewwwwww

[GOPisEvil]

12. Is that the "Aunt Jemima Treatment"?

:shrug:

Who's your buddy?? Who's your pal?? </Stripes>

[frictionlessO]

13. You know... I usually have to pay a high price if I want

the tong treatment...

Silly fucker, doesnt know how lucky he is!!

[baldguy]

14. Anyway, that's his story and he's sticking to it.

The truth must be even MORE embarassing!

[HEyHEY]

15. Would we be making such joke sif it were a woman?

[miss_kitty]

17. Appalachian Emergency Room, Tyler

[-..__...]

19. It's amazing what some people are into.

Collection of Fecal Tongs

:+

"< Modern medical fecal tongs, featuring a lightweight tungsten-vanadium alloy with swaged tubing. Absolutely a top-of-the-line tong. Purchased from a retired doctor on eBay, January 12, 2002. >"



"<Amish fecal tongs. Three cast-iron pieces and a spring mechanism prove less can be more. Someone replaced the original spring on these tongs with a stainless steel unit. I bought these in 1989 on a tong hunt through northern Pennsylvania. >



< Another cherished pair. These were once carried across the plains of North America by a pioneer family whose identity and tong needs can only be guessed at. I found these at Country Corner Pawn in Carson City, Nevada. >



< These Haitian tongs are manufactured primarily for the tourist market. Real Haitian voodoo fecal tongs would be manufactured out of human bone, orange wood, and tree snail shells. Needless to say, those are hard to come by for outsiders like me. >