Becoming (or passing yourself off as) a Christian fundamentalist

[Taverner]

This is freakin hilarious!:

(a)Learn to respond to everything said with the word 'Amen'. Learn to enlongate this, i.e., Ameeeeeen or Arrrrrmen. So if someone says 'The pastor's sermon was very spiritual wasn't it?', or 'The church congregation is becoming larger', you reply 'Aaaameeeen!', or 'Amennnnnnnn!'. The longer the better.
If you want to really appear as a truly spiritual fundy, just respond to absolutely everything said with an 'Amen', e.g., even if you are told 'My mother has just been violently murdered', you simply reply 'Ammmmmen!'. It doesn't matter in what context it is said, because virtually everything said by a fundy is meaningless anyway.

http://home.freeuk.net/jesusmyth/fundy.htm

[Erika]

1. It's the good ole histrionics that keep them going

and donating to right wing Republicans. The corporate globalists just down right loves the histrionics.

[Bouncy Ball]

2. You need to also say

"Praise be," "Praise the Lord," "God willing," and "Have a blessed day" a lot.

I'll think of some more.

Oh! You need to randomly become distressed over some marginally insignificant personal problem and suddenly grab the hand of the person with you and say "Go to the Lord in prayer with me!" Then start praying so fervently and loudly that you begin to sweat. Shake the person's hand a lot for full emphasis while praying.

Throw in a lot of long, dramatic pauses to trick the person into thinking you are done.

[Taverner]

6. "Throw in a lot of long, dramatic pauses to trick the person into thinking

Youre done..." I love that and it is so true!!!!

[Swamp Rat]

3. Aaaaiimayennn!

Aaaaiimayennn!

[TlalocW]

4. Believe that any bit of bad news

involving teenagers acting up and getting in trouble with the law is because satanists have decided to target the kids in your small little farming community, which is 50 miles away from the nearest "big" city.

Whenever a minister preaches, close your eyes and raise one hand and slowly wave it side to side or rock your upper body side to side.

Those I learned from my fundamentalist uncle... the one with the lesbian daughter. BwaHaHa!

TlalocW

[nashville_brook]

5. if you live in nashville,

the best way to appear to be a fundie is to be a GAY as possible and be the biggest music biz whore you can be.

[samplegirl]

7. Or be like my neighbors

Be the principal of a Public school and home school your kids...get
a tax break for all three kids and when Sunday comes the only ones
going to church is the kids.
Ameeeeeeeeeeeeeen