If you're single is it because.....?

[Cadence]

You haven't met the "one" yet and you're holding out?

You already feel like you met the "one" but it didn't work out and are now to disheartened to try again?

You can't find a date let alone the "one"?

Other - Please describe.



Edit- for lack of apostrophe.

[shinju1985]

1. Other

I'm just too lazy to get out there and date, besides these forums are more fun.

[Cadence]

5. Welcome to Du!

[shinju1985]

21. thx

[AlanAdam]

69. There's a city in Taiwan called Shinju.

Is your pseudonym a reference to it?

[RagingInMiami]

2. I still haven't found the right one

But I have fun searching. How about you?

[Cadence]

6. Yep same thing.

Haven't found him. But I don't really look either.

[ContraBass Black]

3. First love dumped me a month and a half ago

And even though I love her and I miss her every moment of every day, I know she did the right thing for both of us.

[Phentex]

71. awwww....

how bittersweet!

[American Tragedy]

4. Well, I think it's kinda obvious

I am single because in the past few years, I haven't encountered anybody who fulfilled both of the two basic requirements.


A. I must be attracted to him.

B. He must be attracted to me.

[ET Awful]

62. I'll second that, just replace the him with a her and the he with a she :)

And we'll call it good :)

[neuvocat]

7. Too lazy to try.

[WMliberal]

8. other- there is no "one" for me

don't plan on getting married.

[Zomby Woof]

9. or

You haven't mastered the use of the apostrophe and literate potential partners avoid you.

"If YOU'RE single..." goddammit.

[Cadence]

10. That was harsh.

I typed it quickly and was eating some nachos at the same time. So I have a problem with your/you're do you have to point out my inadequacies in front of everyone?

:(

[RagingInMiami]

14. So what toppings do you have on "your" nachos?

[Zomby Woof]

15. That's my job

Been at it for a long time and am damn good at it. Nachos are no excuse. Buck up and learn your grammar.

[RagingInMiami]

17. what is this, English class?

It's an informal thread on a website. She's not turning in a resume.

[Name removed]

19. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RagingInMiami]

23. Listen to yourself ...

you sound just like a freeper.

[WMliberal]

28. i've never heard a freeper complain about grammar.

that shit would be the link of the day here at DU!

[RagingInMiami]

31. If this is not freeper talk, then I don't know what is

"it will be the smart folks like me who will pay the price for their incompetence and illiterate ways."

[WMliberal]

36. you don't see the price we'd all pay in an illiterate society?

Oy, someone doesn't have any Jeffersonian strains in their views on what a democratic society should consist of.

on edit: although I think Cadence won the argument once and for all when she laid down the "whatever" card.

[RagingInMiami]

39. Dude, I'm a writer

I get paid by the word. But I also know it's sometimes easy to mix up the words "your" and "you're" as well as "their", "they're" and "there".

Most people don't sit there and review and revise their messages before posting them.

But I hate this holier than thou attitude from people just cause they happen to catch a fucking mistake. I think society will be just fine despite that blunder.

[imenja]

60. he does it to pretend he's superior

It's transparent. If he felt confident in his own intellectual abilities he wouldn't need to belittle others.

[Cats Against Frist]

126. Wouldn't that be "holier-than-thou attitude?"

;)

[RagingInMiami]

136. I don't think so

but it's a matter of opinion

[Cadence]

41. Since when is a grammar mistake

considered illiteracy? Are you saying you've never made one?

[Guaranteed]

43. We've all made them. This is lunacy. nt

[Cadence]

45. I feel like I've stepped into bizarro world. n/t

[RagingInMiami]

47. In this bizarro world ...

not only are you not going to be able to hold a job, forcing the rest of us to support you, but you're going to lead a lonely, single life. All because "You haven't mastered the use of the apostrophe".

:eyes:

[sir_captain]

56. Honestly

the biggest irony is that the arguing poster used incorrect grammar while castigating the OP.

[Cadence]

34. The link of the day here at DU

would be calling someone out for misusing your?

WTF?

[WMliberal]

37. no, a freeper complaining about grammar.

[Cadence]

24. So now I'm illiterate because I misused

your and you're on one post on an informal forum at midnight?

What if I'm just tired or suffering from severe PTSD or just lost my job and going through a rough time? That's the only explanation you have I'm illiterate?
Well I graduated with honors with a degree in Computer Science and my last employer didn't think I was incompetent. I oversaw 485 high availability unix servers that were used in the production of integrated circuit board chips.

I think your being out of line on one simple mistake.

[Kipepeo]

32. That "your" in the final line was a joke, right?

Just checking, because of the raucous fight over the misuse of "your" that came before it.

I can't keep up with who is yanking what chain here.

:D

[Cadence]

38. They aren't joking.

Now I feel like purposely misusing it because apparently it gives them a feeling of intellectual superiority or something to catch it.

[WMliberal]

27. and the smart folks like me who can't find a job,

while illiterate people get hired before I do.

[sir_captain]

55. Your sentence is ungrammatical

"when some poor sonofabitch hires her, it will be the smart folks like me who will pay the price for *their* incompetence and illiterate ways"

Honestly, it's difficult to gramatically follow your sentence, but in any case, the word "their," starred above, clearly is a plural that does not agree with any non-existant plural noun that it could possibly be referring to. The correct usage would have been "her;" though again, you use the word "her" earlier in the sentence, but nowhere in your post have you supplied the proper name to which "her" is attached.

So if this was some in-joke that I missed out on or you are drunk right now, haha, but if not, get off your fucking high horse.

[Cadence]

20. Whatever.

[sir_captain]

72. So what's the problem?

Are you not big enough to come back in here and admit that your grammar was less than perfect? You owe the OP some contrition...

[Us vs Them]

11. Single. Too picky.

Quite frankly, I'm the coolest person I know. That, too, should speak volumes of why I am still single. Ha.

[huellewig]

Ditto..

The only person that makes me giggle is me. I'm funny as fuck. I walk down the sidewalk chuckling at all the weird shit I think of.

[tridim]

12. My standards are too high

Personality standards, not looks. Plus I'm very shy and have a tough time breaking the ice.

I did date a girl that I thought was the one, but it simply didn't happen. She's still the most interesting person I've ever met. She would bring up random thoughts like, "Did you ever notice when a bird walks, its head stays perfectly still?" I really liked that stuff.

[GRLMGC]

13. Other

Cuz it's me.

[McKenzie]

16. bachelor confirmed

been single for years and years after two failed, long-term relationships that are becoming an increasingly dim memory. ("and they all pretend they're orphans, and their memory's like a train, you can see it getting smaller as it pulls away" Tom Waits, Time)

I am largely married to my job, being one of those lucky people who has one that is deliberate, vocational choice. My job and my free time interests actually overlap.

And no doubt this will chime with many people...the longer one remains single, the more difficult it becomes to get back into a relationship.

In some ways I wonder if my life is incomplete, whether there is something stunted because the yin and the yang are out of kilter. Equally, I wonder if not having children has kiled part of the natural humanity in me. I don't know, not qualified to comment on that.

In summation, do I desire a relationship? I don't think so and it's not a denial thing because I'm unattractive to women. Self comparisons are always tainted by the ego, even at a sub-conscious level. Self worth delusions notwithstanding, I know women like me and I am a very successful, well-paid professional. Female friends are always trying to set me up with dates, which I invariably refuse. Why? Because I would probably disappoint the poor ladies with my awkwardsness born out of years of curmudgeonly batchelorhood.

I like being single though.

edit: speling rong

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

18. Other. Got a month?

I'll tell you all about it.

I've become...disenfranchised with the opposite sex lately.
Maybe I'll get over it, but for right now... :shrug:

[Kenneth ken]

22. other

met 'the one' didn't work out, but then neither did anyone before or after her, so I finally figured out the problem was me. :)

Now I don't inflict myself on others, since I like me, and don't want to change my idiosyncrasies.

:hi:

[yvr girl]

25. Basically, I'm a chicken

It took me 4 years to get a local bank account. I lived in a place for 6 years and didn't hang up pictures or order new cheques. I don't own any plants. I may have commitment issues.

[Kurovski]

26. I'm so ugly I brush my teeth in the dark.

I'll have to post a picture in the DU album sometime.

[GingerSnaps]

33. I removed all of the mirrors in my house

It alleviates the problem :D

Why are you saying that you are ugly are you depressed or are you joking around?

[Kurovski]

44. Joking.

I'm quite taken with my own appearance.

[GingerSnaps]

51. Me too

:D

[Kurovski]

54. It's settled then.

we're both gorgeous.

[GingerSnaps]

61. We should be in movies

;)

[Kurovski]

127. I was.

Extra work.

[GingerSnaps]

128. Which ones?

Did you also have a stage mom?

[Kurovski]

130. No stage mom.

The Untouchables, The Package, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, the first "Chucky" movie, a bunch of "Crime Story" episodes. Industrials. A music video for a group called "The Rainmakers" who, despite being promoted by WXRT in Chicago, faded ( I guess) from view.

Just like me!

Other stuff.


EDIT: The Rainmakers are still touring, as my research has just found. The video was for "Small Circles".

[GingerSnaps]

132. Can I ask you one question?

What building did they film the apartment scene at in the first Chucky movie in?

Where did you go for the casting call for the Untouchables, Crime Stories and Chucky? I'm just curious...;)

[Kurovski]

143. It was the landmark apartment building on Diversey

that Charlie Chaplin supposedly once stayed in while working at Essaney studios. (once did an industrial at that studio.)I don't recall the name of the building. But it was FREEZING awful cold the night I shot. (it's right near the lake.)

The night the (babysitter? Big burly guy!) went out the window was the night I was there.

Ann Geddes did an open call for Crime Story in the building that was the Igloo Theater.

Geddes for the Untouchables, and I don't recall who did the Chucky movie.I was submitted to 4-5 agencies.

Do I know you, gingerSnaps?


edited to say: That was FOUR questions! :)

[GingerSnaps]

144. Did you ever work for

I am not sure that I am spelling this right Hosier Roche, Rosen Knutsen, or Brady?

Crime Stories also at the Ivanhoe, Wieboldts, a bar in Bridgeport and an old Restaurant around Logan's Square.

Heres a few, were you on any of the ones below?

Color of Money (Navy Pier)
Commercial for IB Diffusion (Uptown Theater)
Budweiser Commercial (Wrigley Field)
Ferris Buellers Day Off
Home Alone
Sixteen Candles

The list would take up too much bandwith and is very long. Do you have several days? :D

[kodi]

29. i can't find a woman who does what my 6 dogs can

...wait for me by the door, buck nekkid on all fours, with a leather collar around her neck.

being able to lick her own butt is of course, optional.

[GingerSnaps]

30. You need something in common

When you are in the Arts sometimes it's hard to find a person that is in the same field of work that you have been in or are in.

Nothing in common gets very boring after a while.

[tibbir]

35. I kinda got burned

when my husband of 23 years was arrested on a morals charge. The worst part for me was the betrayal due to his leading a double lifestyle the entire time we were together. I had been convinced that we were best friends, yet he had all this going on. I didn't see it coming at all.

It happened a long time ago and I still don't think I could trust anyone again.

[Tsiyu]

40. Oh, Cadence

Irritating the grammar police!

I'm single because I really don't want anyone telling me what to do with my life. I've been married, and it may be a great institution but I don't do well in institutions.

The best part about being single is that if someone compatible walks into your life tomorrow, you can go for it. If you hitch up with a warm body just to avoid loneliness, you might miss an opportunity.

[Radical Activist]

42. Kind of enjoy the freedom and options of being single

duh

[Timebound]

46. Me?

Met the 'one', love the 'one', but he doesn't love me. *cries*

I'm over it now, really.

[Abelman]

59. I've been there, too

and then I found someone else who was way better. You jsut ahve to make sure when you find that someone who loves you that you don't push them away if you love them.

[prolesunited]

79. When it's really the "one"

he'll love you back. You'll see some day.

[Abelman]

48. Met the 'one'

Didn't realize she was the 'one' until I had broken up with her.

I'm a total moron when it comes to that. I could be very happy right now. It's so fucking depressing.

Edit: Holy Crap! Who would have thought this would turn into Grammar Gestapo Fun Hour.

[RagingInMiami]

49. don't get so down on yourself

you learn from your mistakes. You never know, tomorrow you might meet someone who will make you forget about the first one, and you will approach it in a different manner because of the lesson you learned.

[Abelman]

52. I know

though, given my location I doubt I'll meet anyone tomorrow:)

The only time I ever have problems is late at night when I can't sleep.

[Cadence]

53. I know! Make sure "you're" on "your" best

grammar behavior in here. Otherwise you will be told you deserve to be single, are incompetent, illiterate and unemployable. At least that's what the "smart folks" are saying.

It was supposed to be a fun-loving harmless thread I promise!

:shrug:

[Abelman]

57. I know I know

It's just a thread for us crazy singles. Why must we concern ourselves with grammar? It's not like we're using capital letters in the middle of words or something.:shrug:

[Cadence]

58. LOL.

I don't know. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the absurdity and then do this.... :freak:

[Blue_Tires]

50. maybe my standards are too high??

at 28, I'm starting to believe that love is something that happens to other people

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

63. Pashawww.... there is NO such thing as having standards too high

in that deptartment! Don't compromise!!

-Says the person who did... twice!

[Blue_Tires]

86. lol...thanks

[u4ic]

78. I was 33

when I finally fell in love.

[prolesunited]

80. I'm 41

and just found it this year. I used to think the same thing. There's hope. Just go about your life and be active and happy. It will find you. Really.

[CBHagman]

135. That just screams for a Simpsons reference.

You know what I mean: Moe the bartender gets a prank call for "Amanda Kiss" and calls out, "Call for Amanda Kiss! Amanda Kiss! Why can't I find Amanda Kiss?" And some smart-ass yells back, "Maybe your standards are too high!"

But I hope you find the love you want, and remember this: You're younger than springtime where I come from! :-)

[Deja Q]

64. I come across as being

aloof, eccentric, unable to listen, unable to remember, nervous. (the aloofness dissipates over time; getting to know people better - but that rarely happens.)

I used to dress in a wild way, but these days I choose a "modern, sharp goth" motif. ('goth' was not introduced by me. But it seems apropos.)

I will happily date anyone who can transcend my foibles to get to know the real me.

I do have some sort of emotional disorder due to a less than happy childhood. However, afte years of trying to fight so that people would take those incidents into account, it seems little point to bother. (the forgetfulness and inability to listen stem back to as far back as I can remember. I've been disliked for being different as long as I can remember. During high school dances (in gym class), girls would not hold my shoulder or whatever and many would say "ewwwwwww!")

It's been hell but I've been a fighter and a survivor and I'm easier dealing with many 40-somethings than my own peers. It's something about their generation that's more... more human.

P.S. Home for today and tomorrow because of a nervous breakdown I had yesterday. :cry: Related to the memory/learning problem.

[Cadence]

70. It's actually really interesting that you said this

because I'm dealing with a similar problem. I'm trying to heal from extreme violence in childhood. My parents used to stand me in the garage, pour gas on me and threaten to burn me alive if I ever told.

Which made it really difficult to go to school and learn because my brain was constantly on high alert trying to block new information or experiences for survival. Which is back-wards for most people. So lately, as I have been dealing with putting my narrative in place and the flashbacks, I can tell my brain is reorganizing and there are things like "visualizing words" that aren't working.
So it was ironic that the guy up above called me illiterate and incompetent for the very thing that I have struggled with. Because at age 8, when the abuse was really bad, that's when we were learning contractions and I had a hard time putting it into the visual part of my brain. I completely understand and know the correct usage. I put myself through college and have been very successful career wise there just comes a point where, if you want to heal, you have to allow some things to be broken or offline for awhile. If people don't understand or make you feel stupid. Fuck 'em.

I know, people that haven't endured extreme trauma have no idea what it's like or what consequences you are left with in your body, beliefs and brain function but I do understand. Focus on what you CAN do and the more you practice the learning or memory functions the stronger those neuronal connections will become. :hug:

[Tsiyu]

76. Thanks for sharing that, Cadence

People so often don't try to see below the surface of anything.

I came to this mountain to heal from some pretty intense years, and I STILL don't have it all worked out. I suppose that's another good reason to remain single. i DON'T want to take my shit out on anyone else. It's been recycled enough - that bad juju that ended up hurting me.

The mind is a fascinating instrument. The best thing I have learned is that I can control my thoughts. I can CHOOSE what to focus on. Even if a flashback occurs, I can usually either just let myself cry and move on ( no hours of weeping) or I can change the view in my mind.

I look at those random visuals that are downloaded on our brain during traumatic events as files with no true folders. They pop up like Adware when we least want them clouding our vision. They will always be there, but you can create temporary files to put them in, replace the screen image, and still function.

Okay, enough. This was supposed to be about l-o-o-o-o-o-v-e

[Cadence]

82. I completely agree.

The files without folder analogy is a good one. As is the Adware. Definitely feeling your feelings is the pop up killer. The narrative permanently puts the files in the appropriate folders.

This is off topic, but have you read "The Developing Mind" by Daniel Siegel? I haven't yet, but I want to get it. I guess he talks about the importance of the narrative and how reclaiming your personal narrative can help overcome attachment disorders. He also talks about explicit versus implicit memory and how the brain's natural storage process gets interrupted during trauma.


O.k. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming! :)

[Marnieworld]

99. but that was about love

ok I confess. I'm not single, but lurking in this thread. I am really touched by some of these personal posts here.

I too did not have the best "family of origin." I too have had to spend some time healing and digesting it all and trying to learn to love and accept myself and move on from these memories and messages. Fortunately I do have a loving man that I've shared my life with.

I was not perfect when I met him, in fact I had no idea how much was under the surface that needed to be healed. You don't have to be perfect to be loved or to love. You can be flawed. You can be sad. You can be a mess and you are still lovable. You don't have to wait until you are good enough or knowing for sure that your flaws from your baggage won't affect the relationship. You'll live a life without love if you wait for that.

Love is about acceptance. Love is patient and love is kind and all of that stuff.

You know why you're still single? (if you are) because that's how YOUR story is playing out at the moment. You are all lovable right now. Don't blame yourselves. Love yourself, grow and heal, consider it a life long process and hope to meet some good people along the way. Have faith and love people honestly and you'll meet your special buddy eventually.

PEACE.

[Tsiyu]

108. Aw, that's sweet nt

[Cadence]

110. That was really, really nice.

Thank you. I needed to hear that. :)

[Marnieworld]

113. anytime

honest. :hug:

[Cadence]

114. Thanks.

:hug:

[CBHagman]

138. I had to print that out, Marnieworld.

I hope you don't mind if I quote you to some people I know who are having a bad time.

Thanks so much!

[WMliberal]

65. hey sorry for being cranky. It was 3am and all. here's an update

I have found "the one." The only skinny girl I've ever had a thing for...

<>

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[MissMillie]

66. Picked too many losers and now

don't trust myself to find a good one.

[NoSheep]

67. Single. 2 very long term relationships with unconventional men. Then

I met Hugh. I think he's the one. I'm 41 and he is 43. Neither of us has ever been married. I've always either been committed or very picky. I'd rather hang out with friends than date just to date. When I meet a winner, I keep him as long as I can, marriage or not. This time, I'm too old for that. Marriage, or move on. I think it's gonna work out just fine.:party:

[billyskank]

68. Nobody likes me enough, or in the right way, or something

who knows?

[H3Dakota]

73. Several reasons!

1. Met what I thought was the "one", it didn't turn out as I'd hoped.
2. That breakup is still pretty fresh & I still have feelings.
3. In nearly 5 years time, I've been asked out 2 (yes, count 'em - TWO) times - one of which was the one from #1. I don't anticipate any dating for me anytime soon with THAT kind of track record! LOL

[ernstbass]

74. I've become complacent

and I can't count the number of dates I've been on when I wished I was at home with a good book (or even a bad book!!)

[Droopy]

75. I simply like being single

If I were the marrying type I could have been married a long time ago, but I've always been the type who likes to be alone. People think I'm strange because of that, especially my family, but they can think what they want. I'll get along just fine.

[Rob H.]

77. I always feel like a dork around available women...

...because I have limited dating experience and I've been unattached long enough that I'm getting set in my bachelor ways. Well, that, and my last girlfriend dumped me because I said "penultimate" when "ultimate" was the correct choice.* I'm still waiting for the healing to begin. :cry:



*Just kidding about that. What's up with all the grammar nannies all of a sudden? Lighten up! :)

[Roon]

81. I am two years out of a thirteen year relationship...

we still loved each other but we were terrible to each other towards the end.

I am single now because I am pretty much a loner and nothing scares me more than being out on a date and suddenly finding myself bored to death with no escape.

[Lisa0825]

83. Most of the men I feel compatible with aren't looking for a long-term

relationship. I have only had one serious relationship since my divorce 7 years ago, and it was long distance, so it was really more like a series of vacations... never time to get sick of each other!LOL

What I find extremely frustrating is when a guy seems to have a GREAT time with me, tells me he's had a great time, tells me how fantastic I am, and then stops calling suddenly. I've tried to ask what happened, for my benefit, to know if it's something i do. Only one guy answered me. he said he liked me too much too fast, and it scared him. Great. I'm too fantastic to stay with!LOL

[windlight]

84. I've found

The one...lost her..found her again..lost her... and Now found her for good.. but we are 300 miles apart.. So I'm alone 95% of the time but those times when we are together are great....

[bikebloke]

85. Other

During my travelling years (or just time in one spot abroad) I met a few right ones. Being the nature of exploring the world, those relationships were here today, no tomorrow.

In this part of the world, few americans click with me. Not to say they're not out there. Plus, I've been a bit of a freak magnet, so lately when someone fancies me, I ask myself, "What's wrong with them?" So I suspect one or two good ones have slipped by.

I'm content on my own. If I meet someone, I'll meet them. Yet I won't succumb to desperation and hook up with anyone. That's inviting trouble.

[huskerlaw]

87. I can barely find someone worth dating

Probably because I'm picky and I live in a very red state.

[Samurai_Writer]

140. I can totally relate!

I THOUGHT I found someone who was worth dating, found out he was not anything like he first presented himself.

I was married twice but have been single for 7 years, and don't see it changing. I like being by myself, not having to answer to anyone, and doing what I like when I like. I think I'm too independent to be in a longterm relationship.

[m0nkeyneck]

88. gurls are soft and confusing

[FarLeftRage]

89. Probably my own stupidity...

I met the "one", dated her for 15 months and then we "amicably" split up.

She wanted to move back to New York city and I really didn't like that idea at all.

So we split up after what was the BEST time of our lives... and that was 15 years ago...

So now, I'n a loner with no hope of finding another "one" in my life.

All because of my stupidity.

[antigone382]

90. No time, no money, no prospects

I have the most horrible dating luck on the planet. It works one of two ways:

A. I'm not interested, but the guy is OBSESSED and insists on breathing down my neck,

or

B. The guy's not interested, but I am OBSESSED and insist on breathing down his neck.

It never works any other way.

[Cadence]

92. LOL. Ahhh

It's o.k. :pals:

[Champ]

91. I'm single

Because my last girlfriend wanted it to be that way. I love her to death but I couldn't put up with all the lying, secrets, and defensive behavior whenever I asked a little question in a non-offensive manner anymore. I feel sorry for her because she had an incredibly screwed up childhood, worse then anyone I personally know and it affects her greatly today. We've been through an awful lot the 5 months I've known her, best times of my life as well as some tough times. Towards the end it was wierd, me and her are having a great, amazing time for most of the day and next thing I know the relationship was on thin ice, it was like an emotional roller coaster that derailed and crashed at the end. It's been over for a little over a week, I've been waking up at 7am every morning unable to fall back asleep because the memories of the best and memorable moments we shared together. I'm strong at controlling my emotions but everytime I wake up with those flood of emotions I can't hold back the tears, for the rest of the day I'm fine it's just that I need the morning to release. I guess out of the 3 answers you listed the 2nd one from the top is the most relevant, but my choice is other "I may have met the "one" but it didn't work out and are now disheartened by it, but will try again at anytime if sparks fly between me and a potential mate."

Wow, I feel ALOT better after getting all that off my chest. :)

[Cadence]

96. I'm glad you feel better talking about it.

Hang in there. :hug:

[Champ]

123. I do

I don't know why I don't describe things going on in my life in the lounge more often, I've seen others give tremedous emotional support to DUers ever since I was a member here. I just mostly deal with problems by keeping it inside and do something to try to keep it out of mind. But having someone hear(or read) what I have to say helped release alot of what was inside.

[RagingInMiami]

100. Hang in there, Champ

Believe it or not, we've all been there before. It gets better.

[Champ]

124. Thanks, I know

I'm feeling better as I take it day-by-day.

3 More posts to go and you will no longer have to sip Pat's Kool-Aid :bounce:

[flamingyouth]

93. I'm legally single

But I have a SO who lives 2,000 miles away.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

94. Long story

I was an outcast in high school, and didn't get to work on my boy-girl social skills until college.

My mother sabotaged the one real relationship I had in college, partly because I was naive enough to let her do it.

Graduate school was frustrating because the student body included some of the world's shyest and most socially inept men. Aside from a few dates here and there, I did have one long relationship, someone who seemed to "the one," but this fell apart after we tried to carry on on a commuter basis for a year.

I left grad school and immediately fell into poverty (Reagan recession). I even had to camp out at my parents' for a while, and that was death to any social life.

I actually had a decent social life once I got a full-time job and could live on my own. However, by the time I reached my forties, the good ones appeared to be gone. Although I've dated some so-so guys, I've repeatedly had the discouraging experiences of finding a man who was immensely attractive on every level only to discover that he was either gay (but closeted) or married (in a commuter marriage, so it wasn't obvious in one case).

I liked being in relationships and I'm not particularly pleased about being single, but I'm not willing to get involved with someone just for the sake of being involved. I don't like the "typical American guy" type and they don't particularly like me, so the typical singles events are even less pleasant for me than they are for most people.

[donheld]

95. Because Skinner won't allow

sex threads :silly::crazy::evilgrin::silly::crazy::evilgrin::silly::crazy::evilgrin:

[vinnievin777]

97. Why make one girl miserable?

When I can make so many so happy.

Vinnie Vin

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1932852344/qid=1086103239/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl14/103-2852423-2023849?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

http://www.vinnievin.com



ps just joking

[HEyHEY]

98. I'm like...scared of women

Wasn't before..am now..don't know why.

[chefgirl]

101. I'm single because

I'm battle scarred and gun shy.
I'm also not willing to compromise on the important things at this point.

If he's out there, I'll meet him.

Right now, though, I'm perfectly happy dating whomever and as often as I please, while still having my personal space to myself.

-chef-

[RagingInMiami]

102. So are you a chef?

[chefgirl]

103. LOL

Yes, I've been a chef for about twelve years.

Why do you ask?

-chef-

[RagingInMiami]

106. I love cooking

I spent years working as a waiter back in the day and I developed a talent for cooking, but I do it mostly for my friends and family. One day, if I ever strike it rich, I want to go to an Italian cooking school.

[chefgirl]

107. Very cool

I'm not sure I've ever heard of a cooking school that just teaches Italian cuisine, although I'm sure there are some.

Some of the best cooks I've ever known only cooked for friends and family. The most important thing is to love doing it, I think. If you love it, I'm sure you would do very well in culinary school.

If I ever strike it rich, I'll probably open my own restaurant and be the Exec. and hire other chefs to do the cooking. Although, knowing me I would have a hard time staying off the sautee line. :silly:

-chef-

[RagingInMiami]

My plan would be to go to a culinary school in Italy

Cooking is my passion, which is why I never see myself doing it as a business.

[chefgirl]

111. Well, I see it a little differently

I figured, its something I love to do, and since I have to spend my days doing some kind of job, wouldn't it be great to get paid to spend my days doing something I love to do?

I still feel that way too, even on the worst days. Even on the longest 14 or 16 hour days, I still know there's nothing else I could devote that much of my life to and still feel like I've achieved some measure of success.

Now, when they start paying people to sit on their asses and :smoke: all day long, I'll be the first one in line to apply!

Until then, I'm happy cooking for a living.

-chef-

[RagingInMiami]

112. That is why I asking

I'm always impressed with people who cook for a living. As a writer, I got jaded working as a newspaper reporter for several years. I'm now trying to become a screenwriter. Writing has always been my true passion. Cooking is something I picked up along the way.
Plus, I've worked in restaurants and there is nothing more stressful when you get that rush and everybody wants their meal at the same time.
It's a totally different situation than entertaining friends and family, drinking a few beers in the process, as you cook for them.

[Cadence]

115. I wrote a screenplay

that's what I want to be as well..a screenwriter. Writing has been my passion since I was a little girl. I'm trying to shop it right now.

Have you started yours yet?

[RagingInMiami]

119. I finished one screenplay and submitted it to this studio in hollywood

as part of an application for a screenwriting fellowship. If I don't get accepted for the fellowship by the end of the month, then I will shop it around. I'm currently starting work on a second screenplay.

[chefgirl]

117. It is different, thats true

Well, just as you didn't stray from writing, you just tried a different aspect of it, the only thing about cooking that has ever really come close to burning me out was working in corporate restaurants.
The menu never changes, chefs are actually unnecessary, because the menus are made to be so simple a trained monkey could cook just about any of the entrees on them and the worst part is never being permitted the freedom to actualize the millions of ideas that fly around in your head.
I'm fortunate to work in a privately owned house at the moment, though, and the owners have given us almost full autonomy with the menu, so I don't have that stress anymore.

The rush though...oh boy, I thrive on it! Maybe its just another aspect of it that you really HAVE to love, but once the rush starts, thats when you get to spread your wings. You get to prove over and over again, what you're made of, and you get to do it every night. You're running back and forth at an amazing pace, and its a personal challenge to do your job well, stay on top of whats going on and have your timing down to a science. I really do love it.

It almost feels like victory when the rush starts to die down and you know everyone went away happy and well fed, and no one managed to burn the kitchen down!

I would never tell my boss this, but every night when I leave, I honestly can't wait to go back and do it all again the next day.

-chef-

[RagingInMiami]

118. That all makes sense

When I worked in restaurants, I was a waiter, so even though I got that rush, it was never really a passion. It was just my adrenaline pumping.


EDIT: But when I worked for newspapers, and I had a breaking story that needed to be filed in 45 minutes to make it on the front page, that was pure passion and adrenaline.

[chefgirl]

120. Ahhh..

Well, see, then you understand what I'm talking about. It does have to be something you love.

So what jaded you about working as a reporter? I can understand how that could be a really exciting profession... then again, so could screenwriting.

I just read that you've submitted one screenplay already. Thats excellent. Hope it goes well for you! :thumbsup:

-chef-

[RagingInMiami]

121. I worked for the arizona republic

which is owned by gannett, the largest media company in the world. They own the USA Today as well as hundreds of newspapers and TV stations.
In the industry, they're known as McNews because of their cookie-cutting approach to writing. They tend to focus on feature-type stories rather than investigative reporting. Everything is by formula over there. For example, if you pick up the front page, only two stories are allowed to "jump", meaning they can continue on another page.
So that means the other three or four stories must "contain" to the front page, meaning they are going to be lacking depth and balance. There is no exception to this rule.
I worked for them for four years before I quit.

EDIT: It would be like working as a cook for TGIF's, if you know what I mean.

[chefgirl]

122. Oh, I know exactly what you mean

While I never worked for Fridays, does Bennigans count? LOL.
I've worked for a few other corporate houses too, so I know exactly how you felt working for 'McNews'.

I'll bet working for them taught you some valuable lessons though, and sometimes thats the best we can take away from a bad situation, I guess.

The important thing is that you're doing something now that churns your blood, and as I said earlier, that really is a measure of success. Good for you!

Well, I'm off to bed now. I've enjoyed talking with you, and I'll see you on the boards.

Good Luck with the screenplay!

-chef-

[Pale Blue Dot]

104. I fucked up many, many years ago.

I'm now in the extremely slow process of trying to convince someone that she can trust me now, despite the past. I won't even let her know what I'm doing until May at the earliest.

Fear is a very bad thing, folks. Avoid it if you can.

[Buns_of_Fire]

131. I, too, screwed it up royally

Then, the person I screwed it up for, left a message on my answering machine one fine day saying she was getting married (to someone else, of course) and moving way, way out-of-state. I destroyed the tape of that message and gave away the answering machine.

Then, purely by chance, I met the person I really thought was my soul-mate. We propped each other up, we cried on each other's shoulders, and then one day -- poof! -- she disappeared. I mean really just disappeared. Just like that. No forwarding address / my friends won't tell you / please don't try to follow.

So, I guess I would say I'm a little gun-shy right now.

What lies in the future is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune as it falls
There may come a time when I will see that I've been wrong
But for now this is my song.....
And it's goodbye to love...
I'll say goodbye to love...

Of course, it could also be because these days I require a resume with at least four references (not relatives), a full blood workup, a qualifying statement from two phychiatrists, and a D&B rating for both themselves and their families. :shrug:

[last_texas_dem]

105. Other, I guess

I was in an off-and-on (mostly "on) relationship for three years. I thought it was serious, thought she did, too; turned out she didn't. It took me more than a year to (mostly) get over the hurt of that, and the bitterness is still pretty strong from time to time. (We're still best friends, which hurts like hell sometimes but it was just too hard to imagine things being any other way...)

So after that "learning" experience (2-1/2 years later, I'm still not quite sure what the lesson was...) I've come to the conclusion that maybe I'm just destined to be permanently single. Mostly this has to do with that I'm so incredibly shy that I doubt I'd even know "how" to date if I tried. I'd be a hermit, except that I actually really like most people... I just don't relate to many of them. So, even though I'd like to be in a relationship, I suppose being single is my choice since I don't even try to date. Maybe that's a pathetic choice to already be making at my age, but I figure it's the most realistic and least painful course of action...

[Placebo]

109. I really can't deal with a relationship right now.

I've got so much other crap to deal with, like college and friends.

[Dukkha]

116. I was meant to be

I just can't make it work no matter what

the last one I was so sure was a sure thing. She was total perfection, six months of pure bliss. Now I literally live in seclusion. Work, Home, Work, Home. I feel like I'm just waiting to die.

[OneBlueSky]

125. single because (to quote KC and the Sunshine Band) . . .

that's the way (uh huh, uh huh)
I like it (uh huh, uh huh) . . .

[peacebuzzard]

129. I can't compromise my life with the human variety.

Now, w/ dogs and other critters.... a different story.

[Digit]

133. Other-too old and mean

:P

[tjdee]

134. Met the one, didn' t work out, who cares...

Have no desire in anyone else, as at this point another man would be like eating bugs.

Plus, it's not like anyone's askin', either.

[Longgrain]

137. One word

Ugly.

[sir_captain]

139. Because "the one" can't quite get her shit together

I'm incredibly crazy about her, and she feels pretty much the same way about me, and despite her firm belief that we are going to get married, is having some mid-20s weirdo thing where she won't date anyone else on my account, but can't quite bring herself to be with me either.

Honestly, it's driving me out of my mind. Probably the reason I'm sitting here at 9:30 on a Friday night, too.

[Coyote_Bandit]

141. I live in crazy red f*cking JOklahoma

and I am an educated professional woman who does not believe in involuntary servitude or religious fanaticism.

[SarahB]

142. We may have many "ones"....

As we grow and change and figure out who we are. Life is pain and sometimes pain is life. Be true to yourself for who you are and as people come into your life, whatever is there will be real no matter where it leads. Maybe that doesn't make sense right now, but to thine own self be true and be open to the possibilities life has to offer. Take chances and don't let fear guide your decisions. Try to enjoy the journey. :)