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I just attended a right-wing fundy wedding in Iowa, ask me anything!

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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:27 PM
Original message
I just attended a right-wing fundy wedding in Iowa, ask me anything!
:evilgrin:
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Sean Reynolds Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:27 PM
Response to Original message
1. Were the couple brother and sister?
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:28 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Nope
One of them was my husband's nephew. He is not a fundy or right-wing. The bride's family were the extreme fundies.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
2. Your head didn't explode?
Congratulations for surviving. }(
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:29 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. If the bride's family had had their way
My entire being would have exploded. Seems they don't like tattoos very much. I was stared at constantly and with venom.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #5
8. Hehehehe...
....good thing looks don't kill. :-)
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. I don't know....
I don't feel so good today. :puke: I think maybe the grandma put the evil eye on me! :scared:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:36 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. Ooooohhh...not the "mal ojo"?!?!
If you come to Texas, I know of some "curanderas" who can remove the curse. ;-)
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:38 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. I better do something quick
I think I'm turning into a chicken or something. :crazy:

Actually, considering they're Iowa farmers, she probably wanted to turn me into a pig!
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. "She turned me into an ear of corn!"
I got better. :-)
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #15
24. Mmmm....Hot Buttered Corn!
Did I mentioned she looked like a female Mr. Burns? Everything about this woman was grey, her hair, her clothes, even her face!
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TlalocW Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. Hell, I can tell you how to get rid of it
Crack an egg into a bowl and set it at the foot of your bed. In the morning, if it has somehow cooked itself, you're rid of the evil eye. If the egg is still raw, you never had it.

Nice way to cover your bases, huh? It's typical of all shennanigans from faith healers, psychics, astrologers, etc. But if wasting an egg makes you feel better... :)

TlalocW
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #17
26. If it scrambles, can I eat it for breakfast?
I'm new to all this voodoo and I don't know the rules about evil eyes. :-)
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LincolnMcGrath Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:28 PM
Response to Original message
3. Where in Iowa?
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:30 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. The ceremony was in Beaverdale (just outside of Des Moines)
The reception was at a country club near Ames.
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:31 PM
Response to Original message
7. Did they vow to honor Bush til death do them part?
...or his mistress demands that he gives their child his name?...Forsaken all things liberal, so help them Dubya...
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:32 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. I don't think Bush is extreme enough for them
The bride's grandparents still call black people "darkies" and feel that the bride should not have married my hubby's nephew since he doesn't "serve Jesus".
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:34 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. WOW...and you managed to sit through this without screaming?
Awestruck I am....
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:37 PM
Response to Reply #10
13. I had to
The groom's family are extremely great people (my husband's sister and her husband and kids) and amazingly enough, so is the bride. She's nothing like her family and has even visited us here in Chicago *and* even had a drink with me!

I didn't want to do anything that would ruin her day and unfortunately, that included drawing blood from my tongue every time someone stared at my tattoo with disdain or said something incredibly boneheaded. Boy, the things I do for family!
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:53 PM
Response to Original message
16. Did anyone call you a "muckity-muck"?
I was once called a "muckity-muck" whilst visiting in-laws downstate.

Stupid savages.

Just kidding. Some of my downstate in-laws are nearly tolerable. Almost.
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. Not that I heard
Though I'm pretty sure that "Jezebel" and "Satan-spawn" were on their lips that night.

Did I mention that it was a *dry* wedding? No freakin booze!!! Not even a little wine to dull the pain. I really do deserve a medal for this one.
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. No booze?!? Yep. Just like I said. Savages.
I once went to a dry reception when I lived in Houston. The bride's mother cried the entire ceremony, and I cried the entire reception after I found out that not only was there not an open bar, but there was no frickin' bar, period.

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SmileyBoy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. I don't know why, but that post made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!
LOL LOL LOL!!!!
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XNASA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:11 PM
Response to Reply #22
25. Great. Then my work here is done.
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. I would have paid anything for a martini
There wasn't even a bar in the building. In a fucking country club, for god's sake! Hell, even Jesus drank, it's right there in the bible. Why else would he even bother to turn water into wine in Canaan if he didn't approve?
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greatauntoftriplets Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #19
27. NO BOOZE????
At a wedding? Perish the thought!
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-23-03 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. No booze at all!
The bride's parents wouldn't allow any. After watching people dance, I realized that there is a reason they serve alcohol at weddings. They're ridiculously boring without it.
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gratuitous Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
18. Did she vow to "love, honor and obey"?
Or is she one of those libbers? :evilgrin:
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Susang Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-22-03 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #18
20. Wow, I didn't even think of that!
The word "obey" wasn't in the ceremony. That must have made her family even more pissed than they already were.
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